For today's Fashion Lesson, I wanted to share with you a fascinating and eyebrow raising book that I have been reading, The Power of Body Language by Tonya Reiman.  Ms. Reiman is a renowned body language expert, consultant, motivational speaker and appears weekly on The O'Reilly Factor. 

In her book, she explains the power of our body language in social relationships (romantic or otherwise) and business interactions along with the silent power they hold over our success and happiness.

While I found some of her supporting research to be somewhat controversial, it certainly grabs your attention and provokes you to think twice about what sort of messages you may be sending out unexpectedly.

First Impressions

According to Ms. Reiman, others make their judgments of us within 1/10 of a second upon meeting us.  One tenth of a second?  That's less than the time we can bat an eye lash or flash a smile!

Which brings me to the focus of our Fashion Lesson for today.  If others make judgements of us this quickly, we have some preparation to do before, we have a chance to make our first impression.

The Top Ten Things That Turn Them Off Immediately 

(There are seventeen in the book, but I don't want to infringe on her book rights, so I'll let you get the book to see them all.)

1. Scratching your head
2. Nervously biting your lips
3. Raising your eyebrows incredulously
4. Shifting in your seat
5. Crossing arms or otherwise displaying superior, conceited, or overbearing body signals
6. Looking distracted and losing concentration or attention
7. Looking down or avoiding eye contact
8. Standing rigidly in place
9. Keeping your hands in your pockets
10. Not using any hand gestures

The Secrets To A Favorable "Snap Judgement"

Gather Information

Before an interview or social engagement, do a little legwork.  Find out what the dress code is for the company you are interviewing with.  If you can, try to find any personal bias' the interviewer may have.  As we saw with The Great Debate: Wear or Go Bare, some managers still expect women to wear hose.  You wouldn't want that to get between you and your dream job.

Also, if you are going to a social engagement, find out what the dress code will be.  You want people to notice you, not to be distracted by your inappropriate wardrobe choice.  Reiman also suggests women wear an outfit that exposes the "Suprasteral Notch" which is the area between your collar bones. 

If you want to flirt with someone, she recommends lightly touch this area to express your openness, not to mention call attention to your attractiveness. 

(Be sure to check out her Body Signal suggestions for further information on successful techniques in flirting.)

Lose Weight

Unfortunately there is a very strong cultural bias toward our appearance and weight, especially that of women.  Tonya encourages us to reduce that bias and lose the weight once and for all. 

She backs that assertion with the following statistics:

"In 1993, a landmark Harvard study found that overweight women earn an average of $6,710 less a year than women who are not overweight-and that was 15 years ago!  Newer research has found that larger women earn at least 12 percent less than thinner women who have the same qualifications.

The Harvard study also found that obese women are 20 percent less likely and obese men are 11 percent less likely to get married than thinner people."

(Easier said than done.  Even after having my mouth wired shut for weeks, I have yet to lose that last 10 pounds. But I'll keep trying!)

Baby Got Back

In her book, Reiman encourages women to wear clothing that calls attention to their bottom.  Most of us may be thinking that this is one of the last places that I want to show off, and I would agree with you.  I have one of the flattest bottoms on earth.  Who wants to see that?

But, in an equally surprising and interesting assertion Reiman notes that, "A round derriere is a powerful subconscious reminder of the rear-entry sex preferred by most primates."

Shocking?! Yes.

Is this why your male colleagues seemed to take you seriously when you wore you latest tailored suit?  Maybe. 

Honestly, this is all too much for me to think about.

I think Reiman's point is "show off your best assets", but in a very subtle way.

She goes on to say that "overt sexual overtones are likely to damage your credibility in all situations other than a bar."

So what is her fashion advice? 

To wear impeccable suits tailored to your proportions in blue, black or gray and wear a button-down shirt to once again show off the neck dimple (the open area gives an appearance of vulnerability, warmth and an air of openness minus the heaving bosoms.)

I cannot stress to you enough, that the point here is not to dress sexy.  Tonya suggests one aims for a suit or blouse and skirt that gives the illusion of a hip-waist ratio of 0.7.  According to Reiman, this will project an image of health and confidence which will translate into a strong work ethic for a prospective company.

Try to look taller.

If you're short wear heels.  According to research, every inch translates into 1-2 percent of higher income.

Choose your accessories sparingly.

You want the focus on you and your personality if meeting someone socially for the first time.  Likewise when interviewing, you want the interviewer focusing on your ideas, not your twenty bangles clanging away each time you make a point using hand gestures.

In another bit of controversial advice, Reiman suggests that engaged women leave the ring at home.  She feels that a female interviewer may feel threatened because of it. 

(As a side note, I once had a interview with a woman who told me that she would still hire me even though I was involved in a serious relationship and of childbearing age.)

Groom as if you care, but not as if you're obsessed.

The point here is to pay attention to the details; clean hands, fingernails (no chipped polish) and clean teeth.  Also, pay attention to any strange facial hair that may arise.  That includes nose hair.  You know who you are. 

Use neutral makeup, even on your lips.

You may love to look like one of those Merle Norman makeup models, but hold off for that first meeting.  Better yet, go in for a make up consultation and learn how to get it right.

Are you ready for her research on this one?

She cites a study of 136 people who felt that women whose makeup was "invisible" to be more qualified for a position and recommended a higher salary than those with the painted on faces.

Here's where the research gets juicy.

Reiman warns against wearing red lipstick to an interview because according to anthropological studies, men equate it with that certain lady part during arousal.  (Where does she get this stuff?)  She goes on to say that you can get the same enticing effect with more subtleties by wearing colored lip gloss (re: glistening) without being so overt.

Perfume and cologne should be applied very lightly if at all.

According to research, your natural smell elicits a more positive response (assuming you shower each day) from both men and women at a first meeting, rather than a strong dose of Obsession cologne.

Reiman also brought up an interesting point involving memory recall in association to certain scents.  Let's say you decided to wear that Obsession to the interview.  When you walk in to said interview the scent recalls a painful memory of a bad breakup with the interviewer.  This may not occur to the person consciously, but may impact the way this person perceives you nonetheless.

Be conservative with your hair.

Today is not the day to show off your new hairstyle.  Keep it neat, conservative or up.

(By the way, that was the most conservative looking woman that I could think of.)

I hope you found this information interesting and useful.  I highly encourage you to stop in to your local bookstore or library to check this book out for yourself.

Reiman provides some other very interesting and useful information pertaining to body language that I think anyone would find beneficial.

Be sure to also check out her website for more information and tips.

Photo Sources: Click on each image

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More people than I was expecting showed up (which was really nice, actually), and I was really happy which is unlike me, and I wasn't much of a douchebag (direct excerpt from email to A,

me: tonight is my going away.  wish me luck to not be a douchebag

A:

good luck re: non-douchebaggery!  haha.

i'm avoiding a trip into toronto tmw (CENSORED) plus i'm avoiding CENSORED bc he's a megadouche

just bring wine. my dad now said dry white wine. lol - i expected him not to have a preference but apparently he does! ha.

don't bring anything else besides your fine selves.

Survey at college finds 27 percent of men and 14 percent of women willing to trade favors or gifts for sex.

So, when a college-aged busboy at a resort she was visiting began flirting with her, she asked him if he thought a tourist could survive alone in the jungle.

"He laughed and told me I was nuts," says Gerson, 27, who works part-time in online marketing for a chocolate company in San Francisco.

Then he told her that he'd grown up in the jungle in a nearby indigenous community. That was all Gerson needed to hear. Although she wasn't attracted to the guy, Gerson flirted right back in the hopes that he would be her jungle tour guide. It worked. The busboy wormed his way out of work, and the two headed into the rain forest.

"It was amazing," Gerson says of her adventure in 2000. "We built our homes out of palm leaves, I saw animals I'd never seen before, he taught me the medicinal properties of all the plants, we picked fruit off the trees, we swam with and ate piranhas. And, of course, we had sex ... for almost two weeks."

Body currency system

Gerson never felt sleazy or uncomfortable with her unspoken arrangement with the busboy.

"It was a good barter both ways," she says. "I got to stay in the jungle, and he got to have sex with a cute, young American girl."

Such trades aren't so unusual. Throughout history, humans have used their bodies to get what they want -- from ancient Egyptian ruler Cleopatra, who cemented her power through liaisons with Roman rulers Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, to the man and woman who were arrested at a Fort Wright, Kentucky, motel in late June for allegedly swapping sex for gasoline. Regardless of our motivation, scientists say we're hardwired to use our bodies as a bargaining chip.

A recent study of 475 University of Michigan undergraduates ages 17 to 26 found that 27 percent of the men and 14 percent of the women who weren't in a committed relationship had offered someone favors or gifts -- help prepping for a test, laundry washing, tickets to a college football game -- in exchange for sex. On the flip side, 5 percent of the men surveyed and 9 percent of the women said they'd attempted to trade sex for such freebies.

And although they weren't hard up for resources, the students surveyed "recognized the value of this socioeconomic currency system," says Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan School of Public Health, who published his findings in the April issue of "Evolutionary Psychology."

"It's more about getting what you want than getting what you need," he says. "Unless you think everyone needs a $200 Louis Vuitton bag."

The handyman hookup

But unattached coeds aren't the only ones who barter with their bodies. Some professionals will attest that their skills are, well, sexy.

"Women are turned on just by the simple idea of their guy getting off his ass and doing something for them," says Rocky Fino, author of "Will Cook for Sex: A Guy's Guide to Cooking."

It works both ways, he adds.

"Give it to me first thing in the morning, and I'll play [handyman] all day," says Fino, a 39-year-old father of two and part-time construction worker.

Ben Corbett, a 39-year-old contractor from Boulder, Colorado, credits his tool belt with prompting the barrage of come-ons he fields from female clients -- most of them married -- on a regular basis.

"It starts with the flirting, and it just progresses," says Corbett, who has run a construction and remodeling business for 20 years. "They'll touch my hand, and there's all this physical contact. Or they'll run around in their pajamas."

"Once," he says, "I was painting the hallway right outside a client's bedroom, and she was lying on her bed like a girl at a slumber party with her legs up and her arms crossed and her head resting on them, asking me if I had a girlfriend.

"It's all about the fantasy of being taken by the rough-hewn construction guy," muses Corbett, who, despite the temptation, has avoided getting sexually involved with his clientele for fear of jeopardizing his business.

It's the biology, stupid

Call it crass, sexist or gender stereotyping all you want, but there are thousands of years of biological programming at work here, says Dr. Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy at the Council for Relationships, a nonprofit relationship-counseling group based in Philadelphia.

Plain and simple, a partner who provides more resources -- wealth, shelter, home repairs -- is seen as more attractive and stands to reap more sexual rewards.

Or, as Fariello puts it, "I don't get anybody in my office who says, 'My husband sits on the couch all day and eats bonbons, and I want to have sex with him all the time.'"

//tanken from artiswhy.

The only thing that comes close is some tall, fat dude with a professional camera with a long lens who parks his car on a side street and stands by the fence.  I told the cop about him and some other weird looking dude on a bike that has like a little mirror or whatever coming out of his helmet who I've seen on a regular basis, but that was about it.  Since I just finished sprinting like 50 meters I was panting and I couldn't think straight, so I let the cop go.  It looked like he wanted to keep talking, but I told him thank you and if I see anything I would let him know.  I felt bad, but I wasn't interested in him because he was way older than me and just creepy looking.  Sorry guy.

Well, after that I noticed weird stuff going on.  I saw a bunch of crown vics with guys dressed up in suits, who I believe were federal agents. Yummy!  One car drove past and both the driver and the passenger were hot.  I don't know what it is, but I just love men in suits.  And they were wearing sunglasses, which were probably Oakleys.  I saw them drive pass me a couple of times and they even stopped in an empty parking lot and just stayed there.  I kept looking back to see if they left, but no, they never left.  Weird. 

After that, I saw a Chicago Police helicopter flying over the side street, over me, and into the airport.  It was so close that I can see numbers and lettering; it was cool.  I didn't even know we had helicopters.  So then I got to thinking 'what if' something is going on in/around the airport, like terrorists or something crazy.  Well, after that I saw two Impalas with municipal plates come out of the airport, probably Feds.  Well later down the street I see a pilot and I ask him if anything was going on, like if the president was coming in, but he said he didn't know and that somethings going on everyday at the airport. I guess, I'm not really an Midway insider, just a girl who jogs/walks around the airport.

Swill was the most recent underage hangout. Back then it was difficult enough to get a pint at sixteen, but the odd bar would chance serving youngsters for a while before getting caught, or more likely, they were planning on not renewing their license so it didn't matter a fuck for the month or two they'd remain open.

The Swill was such a bar. Whispers spread around about some place. I only got to go the once.

This time it was me and my buddy heading out to town for drinks - no older cousin or friend's brother 'chaperone'.
The Swill was a small enough, run down enough square room, upstairs on the corner of a building overlooking the street from small windows both sides. The walls were painted dark yellow as well as nicotine stained. The bar was dirty and old, but the room seemed to take on a hue of delightful peach to me as I ordered, from the exquisite bartop, two of the cheapest - bottles of san miguel. Never have seen them in this country before or since.

But what really shook me about the place was the girls. Girls I'd been to school with until age twelve, girls I knew from the school down the road. Girls I'd see out and about during the week or hanging out in the evening and weekends. Girls. Girls? Girls no longer! These were women creatures all around us.
Women, sipping alcoholic beverages with style, class and sass - like they'd been frequenting trendy cocktail bars for years.
Women with made up faces; huge sparkling eyes, brilliant strings of pearls shining the from the dark ruby drapes of parted lips, then pouting out to grace a cheek in a flirtatious playful formality I'd only before witnessed on television.
Figure-hugging dresses and skirt/top combos cut low to show off something I'd never imagined were beyond these women... eh, girls' clothing until then.

A beer dangling in one hand, the other snaking around an old classmate, eyes peering into batting lids, this was a level of sophistication never dreamed of.

Of course, we were playing 'grown-ups', but it was new, it was exhilarating it was an eye-opener to say the least; and it was fun. The best.

I got tipsy but not drunk.
Snitz led me a new way to the last bus, through a dark arch/alleyway.
A bum lay seeking slumber under cardboard covers. His cup lay by his head to catch coin while he slept, his bottle, no doubt tucked safely by his chest.

Pick-up Line 2: You seem attractive and interesting. I likewise seem attractive and interesting. Let's explore that further through our respective veils of insecurity and decorum until one of us disproves the thesis.

Pick-up Line 3: Your antlers are enchanting.

I have to say I reflected on why I was so disappointed.  Was I disappointed because they guy was showing me interest didn’t pan out, was it because I was kinda into the guy, or was I disappointed because I had the perfect opportunity to break my 10 month dry spell (yes I typed it 10 months….I know I know it’s been rough trust me).  So I spend the next few days just hanging around my apartment.  I watched a lot of TV which I haven’t done in a while, I dusted my bedroom (unfortunately no beer was involved), and I dusted out baseboards of our apartment… (jesus baseboards really?)

Sunday evening rolls around and Lauren comes home and decides that she wants to go out.  She has been hanging out with this guy recently so we were going to check out one of his haunts to see if he was there.  Well I took this as the opportunity to go back to Craze and do some damaged control myself (or make a fool of myself…whichever came first).  So we go order our drinks, and low and behold it’s karaoke night.  Needless to say I did get some giggles out of the singers…like you wouldn’t.  It seems like the bartender isn’t there so I’m bummed then I catch sight of him.  As it turns out he is running karaoke night from the DJ booth.  Well Lauren signs up for a song (no I don’t sing karaoke…I had a terrible experience as a 16 regarding a karaoke birthday party…lets not go any further it is bringing up bad memories lol).  I take the slip to the guy we chat briefly.  I’m not quite sure if this is considered stalking or being forward with wanting to talk with the guy.  Lauren at one point leans over and tells me the same thing that Lucy had said to me two nights ago, he hasn’t stopped staring at me.  God I love feeling like a piece of meat J.  Then at one point he gets up and starts singing.  As you might or might not know I love love love old music like jazz.  It is great music that our generation will never fully recognize or understand.  Well, bartender guy starts singing “I Wanna Be Around” and I couldn’t help falling just a little for him.  I know what you’re thinking…Sammy just falls to easily, well let me tell you something, there is nothing more attractive than someone who can sing a good jazz song, and boy did he nail it.  Great voice, great song (even though it’s about heartbreak…and I don’t intent to think about the over arching theme of the song) and I was sold.

Well at that point Lauren wants to go to see if her hottie is out so I decide to break my usual pattern. I write a quick little note on a napkin giving him my number again asking if he wanted to catch a movie this week. Then I ask the bartender to give it to him.  And with that I was gone.  Cowardly perhaps, but really who wants to be bothered by an enamored boy while trying to host a karaoke night.  I haven’t heard from him, which is disappointing but we’ll see what happens.  But I am pretty pleased with the fact that I went back to the bar…I don’t usually do things like that.  If someone doesn’t call I usually just accept it and move on.  Below is a version of the song the bartender sang.  If you just want to hear the words you will have to jump to the 1:49 second mark!

On one final note Matthew Mitcham took home the gold from the Olympics!!!!!!!  I was thrilled about his accomplishment.  Again, he is a spectacular athlete and great representative of the gay community.  He should be very proud of his grace and dignity that he has shown in times where gay athletes are not always shown the same.  He has a lot of respect from this boy in Erie!!!!!

[dailymotion id=k10vTWFy5xrFbIJZTi]

Maybe I didn't express this to the people I am camping with.  Maybe they would understand, maybe not.  You see, I am not really alone on the playa... I am there with 50,000 other people.  I have friends there... I have people who love me dearly but... once again, I am alone.

I am not sure why I try so hard.  Why I feel like I need to find somebody.  I had a great time last year and yes, I did feel like sometimes I was alone but doesn't everybody?  Never mind that I did not meet my dream guy on the playa.  I met my dream friends!

So I am preparing myself this year... As much as I long to meet my playa love... I know that it will not happen.  Again I will burn alone.  This year and next year and maybe the next.  I know I will never find it if I am looking yet, I can't seem to force myself to stop looking.

Why do I torture myself?

Heres to a fun, full of love, passionate, reasonably drunk, spiritual and all around amazing burn... 2008!

Art of the Day: Egrets and Willows

I love the color of this. It just struck me. And that's really all I have to say about it. The actual scene doesn't interest me that much.

I'm having a wordless day. Usually when I write my blog, I am a complete and utter blabbermouth. Today, not so much. Though, I have wrote and posted two new chapters to my fanfic story. Huh. If I can only do one or the other without getting write-ed out, that could be problem.

I'm quite tired today. Not sure why. I went to bed at midnight. Which is pretty typical for me. But this morning I literally could not pry my eyes open. I was confused. Not entirely sure about what. Guess I was confused about that as well. And today I've been in pretty much a state of constant zombie-ishness.

I went out to eat with my parents today. We had a really cute waiter. I hated his hair, but he was cute. Anyway, I am the world's worst flirt. And not in the I-flirt-all-the-time kind of way. I just cannot successfully do it without feeling like an idiot so I don't attempt it. But cute waiter and I kept staring at each other any time he came to the table. Which was a lot. We had great service. I have never gotten my food so fast at a restaurant before. But that was all. No exciting I-gave-or-got-his-number story here.

But if I happened to change into a sexier than I normally wear shirt when I got home, who was to say anything? It was a nice little ego boost, even if nothing came of it.

Sigh. I have to get ready to go to yet another wedding shower in a few minutes. I will be so glad when the weddings are done with. One wedding is cute and fun and a nice change of pace. Three in one month is just boring. Not to mention this shower is outdoors. In August. I melt in hot weather. And I really don't feel like fixing my hair and it's not been in a fixable mood anyway lately. And I think my make-up hates me. And I can't wear shorts because me, my laundry basket, and a wall had a disagreement this afternoon and the wall won. Thigh now has a nice big bruise on it. Am I complaining enough for you? Oh wait. I thought of something else. My mom's going to this shower too and guess what she made? BROWNIES. Diet...remember? And I'm sure there will be tons of other evil foodstuffs there as well. Not. Fair.

I already made a slight break of diet protocol. I saw mom's brownie mix that was left in the bowl and scooped up some on the spoon, taking a heavenly bite. And I don't feel the least bit remorseful for it. Not taking at least one bite of brownie mix would be sacrilege.

Back from the shower...

I didn't even want to stay long at this shower and guess who was the VERY LAST to leave? Raises hand. My hair went up within like five minutes of being there. I hate when I wear my hair up. Do not like the way I look. So I was pretty unhappy the rest of the shower because when I feel like I look bad I can't seem to have a good time. Of course I smiled and acted nice and all because I hate when people go places and then pout about it. Do it internally all you want but don't ruin everyone else's time. But I've ended up in a pretty bitchy mood which in and of itself pisses me off. Because I was pretty happy and at this moment, I can't figure out how to get back there. I feel gross, ugly, and hormonal.

End of rant. For a person who hates that hates complaining, I sure do a hell of a lot of it.

Here's two new songs that I just got.

When You Were Young by William Fitzsimmons (he talks for about a minute 45 before the song if you want to skip it)

Cannonball by Damien Rice

I watched him work his way around the bar (I told you...I really like to people-watch) and flirt with various other women...some who made me think that he might be a little more drunk that he needed to be. For example...there was this woman at the bar who, to her credit, had a great body and really hot legs (i'm just sayin!). However, she wore a white dress that wasn't that cute and white heels (a big no-no in my book). To top it off, she had on a pair of white granny-panties. I know--how could I tell, right? Well she had been playing pool and every time she bent over to shoot the ball you could see right through her dress. I was a little concerned why she chose the granny-panties not only because you could see through her dress, but also because you dress like that when you are looking for ass...and if you are looking for some ass then you DON'T wear granny-panties!!! But I digress...

NY struck up conversation with this woman, and I felt that while she had a good body--her face was old and it showed her age (at least in her upper 30's, lower 40's). She looked wore out...like she had frequented this bar, and others like it, for far too long. I watched as he hit on her, smiling and laughing as he told jokes that she probably overly-enjoyed. Once he left she would occasionally walk by and smile or say hi...gently touching him somewhere on his body. It was textbook. So NY comes back over to where we are sitting and he tries these same moves on me. I laugh to myself. I tell NY that I know guys like him, and that while I appreciate his attention--he might want to invest it in other women. This takes him by surprise...and asks me to explain what "guys like him" means. I proceed to tell him that I have a hunch he was in a very serious, long term relationship with a girl that ended badly, and now he is anti-commitment. On top of that, while I have no idea what he does for a living, I assume it is something that doesn't challenge him. His jaw drops to the floor, my friend and her husband are laughing hysterically, and it is at this point that marriage proposal number 1 is offered to me by NY. He is shocked that a complete stranger (me) could have nailed him to a T like that.

He immediately opens up and tells me the saga of his long-term relationship (which, btw, ended because he cheated on his gf...TURN OFF), and how he does construction for a living and absolutely hates it. I smiled and politely declined the marriage proposal. I would, however, like another beer.

NY is now completely consumed by me, as he tells me that when he first saw me come in the bar he assumed I was really quiet (hahaha, this makes me laugh!) but was "turned on" by how blunt and sarcastic I am. I warned him that granny-panties, as I called her, was close by and feelings might get hurt if he leaves her hanging. At about that time she comes waltzing over and tries to get him to go home with her. I'm not sure if he did or not, because it was then that I snuck out...

I love nights like these. I had no interest in NY, but it was fun for me to call him out and watch his jaw drop. At one point he told me that he liked how "smart" I was. I reminded him that not all women at the bar are stupid and sleazy, and that I tried out the "dumb girl" routine but it just didn't work for me. I think this might be a bar that I frequent more often...just for the shits and giggles. Plus, it was really nice to not have to pay for a single drink--even if they were coming from scary rednecks!

Step 1: Give him the "I want you look".

Step 2: Look down and nervously toss your hair.

Step 3: Look forward and slightly away, lean your head back and slowly stroke yourself from your ear to your neck once.

Step 4: Look away and slowly run your fingers through your hair.

Step 5: Give him that killer wink of yours!  HA HA!!!  Please practice first!  ;)

If you feel you are not well accepted by someone you wish would accept and admire you, you have to conquer this person.

This person could be the one you love, or your boss, your teacher, your friend, whoever. The lessons I’m going to give you here are general and can be applied in all cases.

First of all you have to try to understand the other person’s psychology.

Analyze their personality, try to understand their reactions: why they act the way they do? Who are they really?

Try to find out everything you can about this important person and pay attention to their behavior. Pay attention to what they like and to what they dislike.

Do that without being noticed, of course! Your research is secret.

After observing and examining everything you can about the other person, try to do things that they like, in the way they like them. You have to please them, having the behavior they admire. This is why you have to learn first of all what their preferences are, analyzing their personality and everything else.

You have to study the other person’s behavior if you want to be successful in your relationship.

Now, if you want to be admired, you must do more than simply “please” the other person doing something they like.

Who do we admire?

We admire people that do something heroic, people that are successful, people that have a good character, people that help others, people that know many things, people that have a great sense of humor, people that always have the courage to say the truth, people that have an ideal in life, people that are not empty but have many qualities and do many things, people that work, people that are original… just to give you an idea.

So, if you want to be admired, you have to be somehow like the examples I mentioned: you have to be very good in certain point.

Which point? The one that the special person admires.

Depending on what they like, you have to adjust the ideal attitude for your case. Be a hero, according to their idea of a hero.

If for them a hero would be someone that works a lot, be an excellent worker. If for them a hero would be a person that makes a lot of money, try to make money somehow, in order to impress them; if they like generosity, be the hero that saves the poor, and so on.

There are many other things you can do!

Try to discover them by yourself, now that you understood how to begin.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere.

Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com and http://www.booksirecommend.com

Click below to download your copy of the Free ebook
Beating Depression and Craziness

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christina_Sponias

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Submit your dreams while you can because I really am not going to do it for too much longer!

Go to http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com and learn more!

I have asked myself if I fall in love only because the guy is nice with me. I told this to a friend and she pointed out that it was better to fall in love with someone who actually is nice, rather than an asshole. That would be a bit sadomaso. But honestly, I do not fall in love with someone just because he shows interest in me. At the moment, I think I am falling in love with co-worker because of many things. He has the qualities I am looking for in a man: nice, we can talk about anything, funny, has a great smile, is handsome, intelligent, mature (this one is quite important), has no issues and he is all over a happy guy. Yesterday he came to the restaurant where I work. My boss (his father) was out and I had the responsibility for all of it. Anyway, we folded napkins and talked. Nothing else, but we are planing to go to the movies again and I help him in his French classat the University (oh... so romantic). I have experienced that working together and helping someone at school actually is a great way to get close to another person.

Love Mandy

I'm far from a technophobe. I've been online since Commodore 64s were state-of-the-art and 56K modems were the fastest way online to the WELL and Prodigy (read: I'm old).  And I like electronic toys and gadgets; my Blackberry is practically an appendage.  But I've always texted and IMd for purely utilitarian purposes - work, keeping tabs on kids, and maybe the occasional note to a friend.  Using the technology to move a romantic relationship forward is an interesting new twist for me, and something I'm finding surprisingly entertaining.  Must be the writer in me.  Take, for example, my recent exchange with EAM regarding our next planned date to an outdoor festival when I'm back in town:

EAM: "I'm excited for Sat."
Me:   "Me too.  Better not rain! ;-)"
EAM: "Rain would suck but we could adapt."
Me:   "Mmmhmm.  We could.  Definitely.  Adapt."
[20 minute pause in texting]
EAM: "Well that made me smile."