Yesterday, 4th October, we had our annual Amsterdam-Oost flickr meet up. We had fun, beer, cheese, wurst, Bitterballen, wine, Chelley decided to take a dive off of the stairs (are you ok hun?), we met 2 people who live in the area too (hi Keeshu, hi Juutepuut), and fellow Amsterdam-Oost pooler / 52 weeks pooler did his version of the 52 shot (which included moi too). Hence my entry where he's in the photo too.

Sandros, here's to you, cheers mate! (please say hi to Mme O and Mr. T)

52 40 Focus!, originally uploaded by Stewart Leiwakabessy. 5th October, 2008 -- ©Stewart Leiwakabessy

 Everyone has different needs, if we all do the same thing, the beneficial level of each individual will vary (and often quite a big varience).

Maybe the above is not so well put, but I hope you get the gist of what I am saying. In the above I am not refering to anything in particular, but talking in very broad terms. Examples of these would be training for a particular sport, or practicing a particular skill/skillset.

Taking sport for example, we often train in groups, as this is a good way to motivate each other and there is a certain level of "competition" when people train together, which can be a big advantage as we push ourselves harder than usual. However I feel that sometimes I don't realize (or forget) that doing some particular exercise in a group does not maximize the use of time and benefit to me, as an individual.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy helping other people out, and here I am just making my point that in a group situation, regardless of the group size (10 or 1000 people) it is almost impossible to cater for everyone. Sometimes the question is not deciding and agreeing on what everyone wants to do as an entity, but to do these things individually, so that we all get 100% beneficial level out of what we are doing. After all, every individual is unique, we all have our strong and weak points, so we shouldn't forget that sometimes the best solution is to understand that what we need depends on who we are and our individual personalities.

Kept thinking about everything that happened. Hour by hour. Minute by minute.

I'm realizing I'm never going to forget the chain of events of that day. I may be hazy on the night before, the last night I talked to her; but I'll never forget the day I found her. I hate that. I want both of those days to be just like any other & for her to still be here.

I keep readying to say something to her, but then catch myself as the first word begins to slip out of my mouth. She's not there to hear it. I do talk to her, but it's not the same.

My brother booked his ticket back to the East Coast for next Saturday. I know he needs to go back to school & the life he's started there. It's what my mother would want. But I don't know. I'm going to be on my own. I don't know how I feel about being on my own, without her.

I went to my writing group this morning. It was good to do something from my old routine. We just talked. No writing today. But I did put out there that I still intend to go to the Southern California Writers' Conference in February & to have something to submit for critique. I'm not sure what it's going to be at this point. I still can't see myself starting on draft 2 of my current WIP. I don't see myself continuing that story. I'm still thinking there is something else floating in my head that I need to get on paper. We'll see. Maybe after more time has passed I'll be able to go back to it. I'm just letting myself be open to whatever comes. There's nothing else I can do.

Image: Unspeakably Awesome via flickr

October is National Reading Group Month, sponsored by the Women's National Book Association.  To help celebrate, take a look at some of these great books by women, and another list from our catalog.

Lists not your thing?  Here are a few suggestions from readers:

Jessica Helfand, Scrapbooks

Jenny Davidson, The Explosionist

Dubravka Ugresic,  Nobody's Home and Thank You For Not Reading

Freya Stark, The Valleys of the Assassins, and Other Persian Travels

Jennifer Egan, Look at Me

Erica Jong, Fear of Flying

Katherine Dunn, Geek Love

Mary Doria Russell, The Sparrow and Children of God

Margaret Atwood, Oryx and Crake

Dana Spiotta,Eat the Document

Stevie Smith, Novel on Yellow Paper

Marisha Pessl, Special Topics on Calamity Physics

VietNamNet Bridge – Singaporean Changi Airports Group will help upgrade Phu Bai airport in central Thua Thien-Hue Province.

VietNamNet Bridge – Singaporean Changi Airports Group will help upgrade Phu Bai airport in central Thua Thien-Hue Province.

The local administration pledged to create most favourable conditions for the Singaporean investor to implement the project in the earliest time.

(Source: VNA)

Update from: http://english.vietnamnet.vn//biz/2008/10/806921/

Right now, it just feels like she's away on a trip. She'll be back.

But at the same time, I know. There are too many reminders for me not to know.

Two weeks ago tonight, right about now, was the last time I spoke to her. She asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat. I said, "No. It's late. I'm going to bed." I think she said "good night" to me. I think those are the last words she ever said to me. I hate that I don't remember better.

I'm going to my writing group tomorrow. I need a distraction. I need something of my old routine. But my old routine is just that, old. I'm struggling here. I never knew how hard it was to remember to breathe, to eat, to wake up.

This is going to get harder before is gets easier. I don't know how to do this.

Image: yanoche via flickr

John Hodgman, the "PC Guy," is quite funny in real life. Listen to him talk about his sudden fame on This American Life (click on "Full Episode." His segment starts at 8:00 minutes).