The "Extra Women" chapter has it, and I can't stress enough that you shouldn't risk everything for a fling!

For those of you giving me flak over the "Extra Women" chapter, look, I'm just saying if you're gonna do it you're gonna do it, so do it right!

John Bryan Stone

author of Have a Great Midlife Crisis

As of September 1, 2007 couples that get married in Texas will pay a hefty inflated charge for their marriage license. The new fee is $72, up from $30. But couples can get the fee reduced to a measly $12 and bypass the normal 3 day waiting period in exchange for attending a state approved 8 hour marriage training class. The class, provided by the state, is a free course and there are providers across the state offering the course via churches. The caveat for churches is that the state will not give credit for classes that are faith based. The couple will still get the price reduction as long as the church provides a letter indicating that the course covers communication, conflict resolution and marriage benefits. The church must teach the secularized version for the state's approval and then can invite the couple back for more faith based training.

Many brides are furious about the change indicating that the state has no right to interfere with adults choosing to get married. Some say that 8 hours makes no sense whatsoever to be able to sway a divorce prone couple from not making the decision to marry. The point of the program is to better prepare a couple for marriage, but what can possibly be achieved in an 8 hour class? Others, specifically churches, think that its a good idea, even though most interviewed didn't even know anything about it. For the churches that did know about it, after further research, they found that the churches main approval comes from the added push by government to help them grow their congregation one couple at a time. "This is an incredible way to reach out," said Cosette Bowles of Alliance for North Texas Healthy Effective Marriages (ANTHEM), the nonprofit administering the state program here. "You can bring people into your church, and let them know what you're about."

What are your thoughts? Has the state of Texas gone too far or not far enough?

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For those that actually want to see the beautiful couple, here they are in the OFFICIAL wedding photo of Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi from Getty below. Ellen Degeneres sported a crisp and tailored white tux while Portia De Rossi wore a dress from Zac Posen.  Ellen gushed on her blog about how great it was and posted the following on her blog;

You may notice something different about the way I’m writing . . . it’s fancy. This is the font I type in now that I’m MARRIED! I do a lot of things differently now . . . I say "I do" a lot. For example: Who wants to do pilates? I do. Would you like a Mountain Dew? I do. Do you know why I pulled you over? I do. And that was just this morning.

The wedding was everything we hoped it would be. I wish I could’ve invited all of you. But I have some pictures and video I can show you when Season 6 starts on September 8th. I can’t wait to see them too . . . it was all a blur. See you then.

Blissfully yours, the just married Mrs. DeGeneres.

For some great wedding gift ideas, don't forget to visit My Wedding Favors for a fantastic selection of unique wedding favors, bridesmaid gifts and much more.

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NoahSife.com has learned Ray Allen of the Boston Celtics got married to Shannon Walker Williams this weekend at Martha's Vineyard. Shannon is the mother of Ray's two kids so it's just fitting he makes it official now. Ray Allen was one of the main reasons The Celtics won the title this year. He will go down in history as one of the best shooters ever. I wish them decades of happiness....

-NoahSife.com is the Best!

Lmao, it's just like Ellen to be the one wearing the suit, isn't it? Lmao I thought it was hilarious. Haha well yea, so it's big news that was in the papers and on tv that 50-year old comedian, tv host and actress, Ellen DeGeneres, got married to 35-year old Austrailian actress, Portia De Rossi (age gap much?).

Ok I was gonna write more but then I got distracted and bored so yea lol...entry ends now.

Fun Fact: My dad met Ellen before she was famous and had lunch with her.

Il faut avoir 20 ans et être célibataire pour le comprendre, mais là où facebook foire tout, c'est dans le relayyyyshionship status. Raison pour laquelle je ne précise pas le mien. Peut être aussi parce que quand on doit gérer 5 gars à la fois, la discrétion est de mise. Aussi. hm. HEY SALUT LES GARS!

Quelle gonzesse oserait mettre en single looking for a relationship? À part pour faire fuir les gars... ah tiens je la note celle-là elle pourra me servir plus tard. Single looking for whatever I can get ça fait minibitch, single looking for friendship ça sonne récemment-traumatisée. It's complicated ça veut dire il me dit qu'il m'aime mais il est déjà marié. In an open relationship a été créé uniquement pour Johnny Soporno. Veinard.

Parce qu'une fois qu'on a rencontré quelqu'un avec qui ça se passe +/- bien, la question se pose. Pour les gars faut le temps que ça monte au cerveau, mais pour une fille, le status facebook, c'est TRES IMPORTANT.

-Oh MoN DieU on a couché ensemble ya trois jours il est toujours en single! Je dois m'inquiéter?
Je réponds: Non, ne t'inquiète pas petite créature frêle et sensible. Une fois qu'il aura checké le profil de toutes ses autres proies et aura répondu au courrier des minibitchs, ton dernier amoureux en date pokera ses potes et ne pensera certainement pas à son status. Rêve pas.
Ne touche surtout pas au tien sous peine de passer pour la grosse fan accro prête-à-marier. Les hommes sont vite effrayés sais-tu.
D'ailleurs méfie-toi du gars qui se met en relationship le premier soir. Il cherche certainement à obtenir quelque chose!

Moi je veux mon status "is now dating 5 guys and shut the fuck up"! Je veux voir le status cocu(e) (loin de moi si possible) et son pendant infidèle (encore plus loin). Le looking for threesome. Balancez vos idées n'hésitez pas.
Je soutiens d'ailleurs activement Dirty dans sa tentative de désintoxication facebookienne et vous invite à faire de même. Premier défi: aucune connection avant vendredi matin. Elle ne reçoit des notifications que pour ses messages privés, alors si vous êtes aussi vicieux que moi... "non rien". Courage Dirty!

Vivement que je sois mariée, ce sera tellement plus facile.

D'ailleurs, moi, je suis prête-à-marier ;)

The Proposal

I had some of my work in the Williamson County Fair's art show this year.  My painting "Eternal Song"  won Best of Show, and then 1st place in the painting category.  "Maria" won 2nd place.  I was thrilled, and I was invited to an artists' reception Wednesday night.  Nate and I met at a central location and rode together to the fair.  He had come straight from work and had this bag with him.  He said it was for his change of clothes in case we wanted to do something later, but it really just had my ring box in it.

We get to the main fair building, and he excuses himself to the restroom.  I didn't think anything of it.  I later found out that he had a guy meet him in the men's room to hand off the car keys so he could run out to get the ring box and sneak it to the mayor without me knowing what was going on.  So sneaky!  I love it...

After he came out, we went down to the art area.  Everyone was so excited to meet me, and so friendly.  I was thinking, "Wow, these people really should meet artists more often!"  Well, right at 7:00, they say I need to come over to the main stage where a quartet was about to perform for 200-250 people.  They had a high def video crew there to tape the performance.  The officials ask me to come up on the stage, presumably to receive my award money.  I notice that no other artists are up there, but I thought that maybe I was up there because I had won Best of Show.

Anyway, the mayor of Franklin is there and introduces me to everyone, and hands me a check.  Then he hands me another beautifully wrapped box and said that there was another small gift, but he didn't know what it was.  He wanted me to open it right there because he "wanted to see how his tax dollars were being spent."  I opened it, and at this point cameras are starting to flash (Nate had gotten several members of the press to come over and document the whole thing).  I opened the box, and the open ring box was in it with a note that said "You are my Sunshine."  I looked over at where Nate was supposed to be waiting for me off-stage, but now he was now getting on one knee with a microphone in his hand...

"Will you marry me?"

(Later, he gave me the whole thing he was planning to say, but was too nervous once he got up there - it was the sweetest thing ever.)

The Reaction

I was crying already, and I said "YES" but no words came out at all - we just both were crying and hugging.  People were clapping and congratulating, and the camera crew caught every bit of it.

Later, the Williamson County AM wrote an article on us, and we appeared on Channel 4 news several times the next day.  I knew Nate would be creative and that his proposal would be a complete surprise.  I love him so much, and this is just the beginning of what I know will be a lifetime of loving him.

God has purposed us for each other, and I look forward to honoring God in our marriage.  When is the date, you ask?

The Date

October 26th, 2008!

The Ring and Our Wedding Website

We've created a wedding website, complete with details, photos of us and my ring, and a way to download the newspaper article on us.  Check it out now!

Estelle Feat. Kanye West-American Boy [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]

DeGeneres and De Rossi wed in LA US talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has married her long-time partner, actress Portia de Rossi, according to the Associated Press new agency.

Hp Commercial Spoof

Britney Spears up for three MTV Video Music Awards, may perform A year after she bombed onstage at the MTV Video Music Awards, Britney Spears snagged three nominations for this year's show, including the coveted Video of the Year prize.

Donkey Punch

David Carradine is wasting his chops in Spike-TV's 'Kung Fu Killer' It's one of those films where the viewer can figure out what's happening, but isn't sure it's worth the trouble.

Gh3-I Kissed a girl by Katy Perry

Katy Perry slammed by her parents over her 'disgusting' No1 song THE religious parents of singer Katy Perry have launched a vicious attack on their daughter for the "shameful and disgusting" lyrics of her No.1 record.

X Factor 2008 - Ant & Seb

X Factor wannabes are X tremely untalented First and foremost, The X Factor is about talent - the talent to be truly, originally talentless - which is actually more difficult than you'd think.

(Full Version) Rachel Hylton in The X Factor 2008 sings "No Good" by Amy Winehouse [HD]

F1 ace and his doll robbed Thieves swiped F1 ace Lewis Hamilton's bags as he checked out of a hotel with girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger.

Crazy People

Film Of The Week: Hellboy II An ancient truce between humankind and the original sons of the Earth is broken when evil underworld Prince Nuada (ex-Bros pop star Goss) plans to awaken the long-dormant Golden Army of killing ...

Bus hit by Tornado at 15.08.08 in Poland

Oasis announce UK 18-date arena tour The band will visit nine cities, including Sheffield, Birmingham, London, Bournemouth, Cardiff, Belfast and Aberdeen, on their autumn jaunt.

Final Fantasy Versus XIII Dengeki Special Edition Trailer

Noel Gallagher blasts Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson In a funny appearance on Radio 1's Chris Moyles show he let rip about today's pop stars.

Some of my favorites are below... Notice the street sign... Heath's last name is Clark... so we thought this seemed appropriate. And I love the last one with the bubbles... because Heath's reaction is such a typical "Heath face."

Congratulations to you both! So excited for next summer.

Thursday night we went to see The Dark Knight at the new Movie Tavern movie theater that opened near our house.  All I can say about the movie is "WHOA!"  This is one of those great movies that I will see again and again.  However, the great thing about the Movie Tavern is that they serve dinner food (bar food) and beer.  See my post on my blog for a more detailed description.  We went to the 6:30 PM movie and ate dinner there (shared mini-burgers and popcorn, I had a beer and Morgan sneaked in a Caffeine Free Diet Coke) and we were home by 9:15 in time to watch Michael Phelps!  Sounds like a great married couple date night.

Friday night Morgan met me at my office after work and we went to Atlantic Station.  Atlantic Station is one of those hip and trendy places in Atlanta where people "WORK, LIVE, and PLAY".  There are some really nice stores there and some really great restaurants.  Well, we had two places on our list: H&M and IKEA.  Morgan had heard that H&M had nice maternity clothes.  Well, the one at Atlantic Station doesn't.  So, we walked out into the courtyard and started debating where we were going to eat dinner; Rosa Mexicano, Fox Sports Grille, Strip, Copelands Cheesecake Bistro.  All of these places are really hip and trendy places.  Well, being the indecisive couple that we are we decided to just go ahead and go to IKEA and figure out dinner after that.  Of course we get to IKEA and end up just eating dinner there; Sweedish meatballs and mashed potatoes.  What a great Friday night date dinner.  We then proceeded to look at the baby furniture ad nausea.  We liked several things there, but we of course wanted to compare it with something.  So, we headed to Target.  Despite there being a Target 2 miles from our house, we went to the Target at Atlantic Station because it is more hip and trendy and thus we could justify being at Target at 9pm on a Friday night.  We again looked at the baby furniture.  We both agreed that we liked some of the stuff at Target better than the stuff at IKEA.  Those of you with more experience in this arena we would love your input!  We headed home from the Target around 9:30 pm and again were home in time to watch Michael Phelps!

Saturday morning started with me running to McDonalds to get the baby a sausage biscuit because that is what Morgan said the baby wanted.  We then met with a contractor to look at finishing our basement.  For those of you who haven't been to our house, we have a 1400 sq ft unfinished basement and we are looking to get it all setup before the baby gets here so that there is room for the grandparents to visit comfortably (if we can afford it).  After meeting with the contractor we headed out to Discover Mills to check out the Haggar Outlet (pants for me) and Motherhood Maternity (pants for Morgan).  I bought a couple pairs of pants and Morgan bought a couple pairs of maternity pants.  She doesn't need them yet, but she went ahead and got some.  We also bought her a t-shirt that says "Future Auburn Tiger" with a big AU on it for football season.  We then had plans to head to Home Depot and Sam's Club.  On the way from Discover Mills to Home Depot we saw the Rooms To Go Outlet and so we decided to pull in.  It is a great place for scratch and dent stuff.  Well we came out and my car wouldn't start.  We proceeded to call everyone in the ATL that we know and either everyone couldn't come get us or they weren't answering their phones.  We finally got in touch with Dave (the Pastor Morgan works with) and he was able to pick us up.  After many phone calls to the dealership and towing companies we decided that at 5 pm on Saturday we weren't going to get the car fixed and so we went back to our weekend plans.

We were heading to Home Depot and Sam's Club to look at patio furniture on sale (end of season sales).  We have a great screened in porch and we got a great deal last August on furniture for the screened in porch.  This past spring I (with the help of my father-in-law, my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my brother, and Tom Bryson) built a deck addition to the screened in porch.  I needed a place to put a grill.  So, we needed a couple of chairs and a table for the deck.  So, we headed to Home Depot and saw some stuff we liked, but I had seen something cheaper at Sam's Club a few weeks earlier.  So we went to Sam's Club and found the perfect chairs and table and it was even cheaper than it had been a few weeks earlier.  So we purchased it.  Of course it was too big to fit in Morgan's car and my car was still in the parking lot at Rooms To Go so we asked them to hold it until Sunday.  We then went to Sangrias (our local Mexican restaurant) and then were home in time to see Michael Phelps.

Sunday we went to church and then had lunch at Waffle House.  We then started trying to figure out the car and the towing company.  After many phone calls we finally figured it out and got the car fixed!  If that wasn't enough of a successful afternoon, we picked up the patio furniture from Sam's Club, I put it together, Morgan went to the grocery store, I vacuumed out the garage, and then we finished the afternoon by grilling out on the porch (smoked sausage with fruit salad and pasta salad) while sitting in our new patio furniture.

The drinks you see there are my beer (Miller Lite) and Morgan's fruity drink (non-alcoholic).  Morgan's drink is actually a concoction she came up with that she swears taste just like a Strawberry Limeade from Sonic.  It is Sprite mixed with V8 Strawberry Banana juice with real strawberries cut up and put in it.

We are now watching the Olympics.  There is no more Michael Phelps, but I am sure they will talk about him before the night is over.  So, that was our stereotypical "married and pregnant with first child" weekend.

"I don't know.  I don't know if we will have enough time"

-Frank the Tank

By Daily Mail Reporter

Perfect match: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi

Chat show host Ellen DeGeneres and actress Portia de Rossi are married following an intimate ceremony in the grounds of their LA home.

Fewer than 20 of the couple's family and friends gathered at sunset for the civil service ceremony but the event attracted a swarm of press anxious to get a glimpse of the lesbian couple.

See more photos and read the rest of the article . . .

As they posed for official photographers, the loved-up pair were clearly enjoying their big day.

Former comic and sitcom star DeGeneres wore a loose-fitting white chiffon shirt, white waistcoast and trousers while de Rossi wore a cream and pale pink halterneck dress by  designer Zac Posen.

The couple have been dating since December 2004 and DeGeneres announced her plans to wed her lover on her chat show in May.

It came after the California Supreme Court ruled that same sex couples have the right to wed.

When announcing the upcoming nuptials, DeGeneres said: 'It's something that we've wanted to do and we want it to be legal and we are very, very excited.'

She joked: 'Planning a wedding is very stressful. It's crazy. My gardener is now invited.'

But added: 'I think someday people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous that we don't all have the same rights.'

Striking: Ellen looked elegant in a waistcoast while Portia looked stunning in pink

DeGeneres said at the time that she planned to fly de Rossi's family in from Australia and that 'incredible people' would sing at the ceremony.

She said she would show 'a tiny bit' of the nuptials on her talk show - and joked that she would use her latest Daytime Emmy as a wedding-cake topper.

Romantic: The couple married at a sunset ceremony at their home

After suffering heart-break following her relationship with actress Ann Heche, a legal commitment ceremony is sure to be a huge relief for De Generes.

The popular TV personality lived with Heche from 1997 to 2000 and at one point the couple even announced that they too would have a civil union if it was possible.

Domestic bliss: Ellen and Portia share their Beverly Hills home with their four cats

However, the actress split up with DeGeneres and went on to marry cameraman Coley Laffoon.

The 50-year-old, meanwhile, found a new girlfriend in L-Word actress Alexandra Hedison but it was all over as soon as she met de Rossi.

With this ring: The happy couple after announcing their engagement in May

The pair met in 2004 but 35-year-old de Rossi has only been openly gay since 2005.

The Australian-born actress, who starred in Ally McBeal, previously dated Ringo Starr's stepdaughter, Francesca Gregorini.

Prior to that she was married to documentary filmmaker Mel Metcalfe, before admitting that she was a lesbian.

DeGeneres and de Rossi now live together in Beverly Hills with their four cats.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have tied the knot.

"Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi were married tonight in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles," their spokesperson tells PEOPLE exclusively.

DeGeneres, 50, and de Rossi, 35, both wore Zac Posen and exchanged rings by Neil Lane during the Saturday ceremony. Their big day also featured arrangements by L.A. florist Mark's Garden.

The intimate ceremony was attended by 19 guests, including DeGeneres's mom Betty and de Rossi's mother Margaret Rogers (who flew in from Australia for the occasion), who witnessed the couple exchange handwritten vows.

The couple have been dating since December 2004. DeGeneres announced her plans to wed de Rossi during a taping of her talk show in May after California's Supreme Court ruled a previous ban on gay marriage to be unconstitutional.

The following month de Rossi showed off a 3-carat diamond ring set on a pink pavé band DeGeneres presented to her for their upcoming nuptials when the pair attended the Daytime Emmy Awards together.

"She's taught me lessons about myself, and I feel like I've taught her," the TV host said of de Rossi last year. "We've both changed and grown, and we just feel like, 'Oh, okay, this is completion.'"

And hey! On that day, as I was walking down the aisle towards where my fiance sat, it felt like I couldn't feel my legs and any moment I would turn and run away home, away from all my family, friends, relatives and my beloved who was waiting for me upon the stage. But then, holding on or rather clutching my dad' hands, I finally ended up sitting beside my love. And then, everything was a blur till the thought finally struck me that I was married!! That I was finally legally Mrs. Giselle Jason. (Thats how we decided upon the name; instead of the surname,coz' it is the man Im marrying.)

It feels great to be married. Yes.. Nothing very different other than we are living together now and I can take care of him and pamper him to my heart's content!!! :) But everything else feels the same and in fact so much more comfortable than even the thought of what if I had to marry a stranger!!!

Getting to know him is like opening a present everyday (O yes.. I did take that statement from the sitcom "FULL HOUSE".. I really enjoy that show! But, its true!!!)..

Still.. It feels as though Ive been blessed to have been loved by such a wonderful man! He' caring and considerate.. He' willing to bend a little and humour my silly antics... Although, he sure is strong in his principles and views of certain aspects of life. But the love for me shines through his eyes and just being beside him envelopes me in this cocoon of love and safety..

His love is like this old warm blanket.. Very comfortable.. very cozy.. very warm and absolutely loved!!!! :)

Whether it be memories, emotions, past experiences, artifacts (some worth more than others, other peoples trash is treasure to some), or just stuff.  It is a slow, subtle building up and piling up that happens day to day.  Until one day we look around and say "dang! where did all this stuff come from?" or "Man, I gotta lot of crap in my life!" (especially if you're an infomercial junkie).  The anal-organized people like myself will say "I need to get organized" meaning,  I gotta clean up all the crap in my life or put'em on craigslist.

For some unexplained reasons we wait or procrastinate to clean up till we have a special guest or someone we want to impress is coming to see us.  But by this time it is either overwhelming or its going to take us hours to clean just to bring back some kind of normalcy.  The crazy thing is that after we clean, in a few weeks it is right back where we started.

On a physical level,  "Clean as You Go" means to throw away things you don't need,  put things back where they belong, give away things you no longer want on a daily and weekly basis.  Monthly you can do a more thorough sorting, cleaning, and giving.  You will find that you're not playing "catch up" everyday just to catch up!

But do you know that on an emotional level, we do the same things that we do with our stuff ?... we accumulate and let it pile up!  Some of the emotions, voices, or unpleasant memories we keep are from 20 years ago (for you younger peeps, 5 to 10 years ago).  We allow the false perceptions, lies, half-trues to clutter our minds and emotions, some even get deep into our soul.  There is a huge difference between true and truth, but because of the emotional clutter we accumulated,  we have a hard time discerning what is true or what is truth, what to believe, who to believe, what to keep, and what to toss.  It is overwhelming when change or transformation is needed.  We all need to change at some point in our lives.

If we choose to make "Clean as You Go" a habit on a emotional level, Life will become so much less complicated, stressful, and difficult.

When you apply this simple leadership principle "Clean as You Go" you can rid yourself of all the clutter that piles up in our life whether it be a physical, mental or emotional so we can truly enjoy life and the relationships around us without the extra weight or baggage, that we got so used to taking with us wherever we go.  That's why you will notice you sometimes naturally react in a negative way in certain situations, old unpleasant emotions start to bubble up, and the very person you said you'll "never become", you are now that person.

We say we don't have enough time to clean, but in reality we have time for partying, xbox, booty hunting, tv, eating or anything but clean because we don't understand how it will hurt or bite us in the future.

You can Free Yourself today by taking a few simple steps:

1.  Take the time to cleanup and clean out all of the emotional stuff that you no longer need or want. Get rid of them!

2.  Ask someone close to you that you trust, to help you process to bring truth and a clearer perspective to some of your beliefs and life theories.

3.  Each day, "Clean as You Go" in all areas of your life so it won't become overwhelming and a burden when the time comes when you "have to" do it.

When you have a chance check out my new in progress website:  revelation808.com

Til Next Blog if I don't get Bogged,

PD (Daven Hee)

Going booty hunting now!

NoahSife.com has learned that Ellen Degeneres and girlfriend Portia De Rossi will be tying the not this weekend:

[The women] will wed this weekend in California, Usmagazine.com has learned exclusively.

The pair are planning a small, intimate ceremony with only a few close friends and family.
…
Of the preparations, DeGeneres joked, "Planning a wedding is very stressful. It's crazy. My gardener is now invited."

DeGeneres and de Rossi began dating in December 2004.

"I feel like I found my perfect fit," DeGeneres said of de Rossi in an interview with the Advocate.

Ellen is one of my favorite hosts on TV. She's very funny and stylish but most of all she's compassionate. I wish her the best in everything she does!!

-NoahSife.com is the Best!

"Come in." I said hopefully.

"I have to tell you this." he said. Apparently he wasn't wanting to join me after all. "You know that guy I've been chatting with? Well he knows Internet Guy!"

"Uh-uh." I say. "How?"

"He's his ex."

OMG. I can't believe this. You all remember that fuck-tard (he was given this name by one of our readers - sorry I didn't come up with it myself because it fits him quite well) we refer to as Internet Guy? If not, read about him here or here. What are the chances?

"Well he's out!" I say. "You have to forget him now."  There is no way Jay can date a guy who's dated that Internet Idiot.

"Did they sleep together?" was my next question.

"Well they dated for 11 months so I'm sure they did."

"How do you know that?" I say. "People can date without having sex." No, I'm not really that naive. Just hoping that all gay guys aren't just looking for a hook-up.

"Do you really think Internet Guy would waste his time on someone who won't have sex with him?" Jay asks me.

I realize he is right. But the more Jay chats with him the more he finds out how much the guy loathes his ex. Apparently he also thinks Internet Guy was a jerk.

My conclusion: gay men in their early 20s who live in Oklahoma and major in English are not my ideal of a good partner for Jay.

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Berikut ini sekelumit apa yang bisa saya hadirkan kepada pembaca agar dapat meredam perasaan negatif dan semoga mendatangkan optimisme dalam mencari teman hidup.

Ketika seorang muslim baik pria atau wanita akan menikah, biasanya akan timbul perasaan yang bermacam-macam. Ada rasa gundah, resah, risau, bimbang, termasuk juga tidak sabar menunggu datangnya sang pendamping, dll. Bahkan ketika dalam proses taaruf sekalipun masih ada juga perasaan keraguan.

Berikut ini sekelumit apa yang bisa saya hadirkan kepada pembaca agar dapat meredam perasaan negatif dan semoga mendatangkan optimisme dalam mencari teman hidup. Semoga bermanfaat buat saya pribadi dan kaum muslimin semuanya. Saya memohon kepada Allah semoga usaha saya ini mendatangkan pahala yang tiada putus bagi saya.

Inilah kabar gembira berupa janji Allah bagi orang yang akan menikah. Bergembiralah wahai saudaraku…

1. “Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk laki-laki yang keji, dan laki-laki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula), dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk laki-laki yang baik dan laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula)”. (An Nuur : 26)
Bila ingin mendapatkan jodoh yang baik, maka perbaikilah diri. Hiduplah sesuai ajaran Islam dan Sunnah Nabi-Nya. Jadilah laki-laki yang sholeh, jadilah wanita yang sholehah. Semoga Allah memberikan hanya yang baik buat kita. Amin.

2. “Dan kawinkanlah orang-orang yang sendirian diantara kamu dan orang-orang yang layak (berkawin) dari hamba-hamba sahayamu yang laki-laki dan perempuan. Jika mereka miskin, Allah akan memampukan mereka dengan karunia-Nya. Dan Allah Maha Luas (Pemberian-Nya) lagi Maha Mengetahui”. (An Nuur: 32)

Sebagian para pemuda ada yang merasa bingung dan bimbang ketika akan menikah. Salah satu sebabnya adalah karena belum punya pekerjaan. Dan anehnya ketika para pemuda telah mempunyai pekerjaan pun tetap ada perasaan bimbang juga. Sebagian mereka tetap ragu dengan besaran rupiah yang mereka dapatkan dari gajinya. Dalam pikiran mereka terbesit, “apa cukup untuk berkeluarga dengan gaji sekian?”.

Ayat tersebut merupakan jawaban buat mereka yang ragu untuk melangkah ke jenjang pernikahan karena alasan ekonomi. Yang perlu ditekankan kepada para pemuda dalam masalah ini adalah kesanggupan untuk memberi nafkah, dan terus bekerja mencari nafkah memenuhi kebutuhan keluarga. Bukan besaran rupiah yang sekarang mereka dapatkan. Nantinya Allah akan menolong mereka yang menikah. Allah Maha Adil, bila tanggung jawab para pemuda bertambah – dengan kewajiban menafkahi istri-istri dan anak-anaknya, maka Allah akan memberikan rejeki yang lebih. Tidakkah kita lihat kenyataan di masyarakat, banyak mereka yang semula miskin tidak punya apa-apa ketika menikah, kemudian Allah memberinya rejeki yang berlimpah dan mencukupkan kebutuhannya?

3. “Ada tiga golongan manusia yang berhak Allah tolong mereka, yaitu seorang mujahid fi sabilillah, seorang hamba yang menebus dirinya supaya merdeka dan seorang yang menikah karena ingin memelihara kehormatannya”. (HR. Ahmad 2: 251, Nasaiy, Tirmidzi, Ibnu Majah hadits no. 2518, dan Hakim 2: 160) [1]

Bagi siapa saja yang menikah dengan niat menjaga kesucian dirinya, maka berhak mendapatkan pertolongan dari Allah berdasarkan penegasan Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam dalam hadits ini. Dan pertolongan Allah itu pasti datang.

4. “Dan diantara tanda-tanda kekuasaan-Nya ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu istri-istri dari jenismu sendiri, supaya kamu cenderung dan merasa tentram kepadanya, dan dijadikan-Nya diantaramu rasa kasih dan sayang. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda bagi kaum yang berfikir”. (Ar Ruum : 21)

5. “Dan Tuhanmu berfirman : ‘Berdoalah kepada-Ku, niscaya akan Kuperkenankan bagimu. Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menyombongkan diri dari menyembah-Ku akan masuk neraka Jahannam dalam keadaan hina dina’ ”. (Al Mu’min : 60)

Ini juga janji Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla, bila kita berdoa kepada Allah niscaya akan diperkenankan-Nya. Termasuk di dalamnya ketika kita berdoa memohon diberikan pendamping hidup yang agamanya baik, cantik, penurut, dan seterusnya.

Dalam berdoa perhatikan adab dan sebab terkabulnya doa. Diantaranya adalah ikhlash, bersungguh-sungguh, merendahkan diri, menghadap kiblat, mengangkat kedua tangan, dll. [2]

Perhatikan juga waktu-waktu yang mustajab dalam berdoa. Diantaranya adalah berdoa pada waktu sepertiga malam yang terakhir dimana Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla turun ke langit dunia [3], pada waktu antara adzan dan iqamah, pada waktu turun hujan, dll. [4]

Perhatikan juga penghalang terkabulnya doa. Diantaranya adalah makan dan minum dari yang haram, juga makan, minum dan berpakaian dari usaha yang haram, melakukan apa yang diharamkan Allah, dan lain-lain. [5]

Manfaat lain dari berdoa berarti kita meyakini keberadaan Allah, mengakui bahwa Allah itu tempat meminta, mengakui bahwa Allah Maha Kaya, mengakui bahwa Allah Maha Mendengar, dst.

Sebagian orang ketika jodohnya tidak kunjung datang maka mereka pergi ke dukun-dukun berharap agar jodohnya lancar. Sebagian orang ada juga yang menggunakan guna-guna. Cara-cara seperti ini jelas dilarang oleh Islam. Perhatikan hadits-hadits berikut yang merupakan peringatan keras dari Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam:

“Barang siapa yang mendatangi peramal / dukun, lalu ia menanyakan sesuatu kepadanya, maka tidak diterima shalatnya selama empat puluh malam”. (Hadits shahih riwayat Muslim (7/37) dan Ahmad). [6]

Telah bersabda Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, “Maka janganlah kamu mendatangi dukun-dukun itu.” (Shahih riwayat Muslim juz 7 hal. 35). [7]

Telah bersabda Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, “Sesungguhnya jampi-jampi (mantera) dan jimat-jimat dan guna-guna (pelet) itu adalah (hukumnya) syirik.” (Hadits shahih riwayat Abu Dawud (no. 3883), Ibnu Majah (no. 3530), Ahmad dan Hakim). [8]

6. ”Mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan sabar dan shalat”. (Al Baqarah : 153)
Mintalah tolong kepada Allah dengan sabar dan shalat. Tentunya agar datang pertolongan Allah, maka kita juga harus bersabar sesuai dengan Sunnah Nabi Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. Juga harus shalat sesuai Sunnahnya dan terbebas dari bid’ah-bid’ah.

7. “Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan, sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan”. (Alam Nasyrah : 5 – 6)
Ini juga janji Allah. Mungkin terasa bagi kita jodoh yang dinanti tidak kunjung datang. Segalanya terasa sulit. Tetapi kita harus tetap berbaik sangka kepada Allah dan yakinlah bahwa sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan. Allah sendiri yang menegaskan dua kali dalam Surat Alam Nasyrah.

8. “Hai orang-orang yang beriman jika kamu menolong (agama) Allah, niscaya Dia akan menolongmu dan meneguhkan kedudukanmu”. (Muhammad : 7)
Agar Allah Tabaraka wa Ta’ala menolong kita, maka kita tolong agama Allah. Baik dengan berinfak di jalan-Nya, membantu penyebaran dakwah Islam dengan penyebaran buletin atau buku-buku Islam, membantu penyelenggaraan pengajian, dll. Dengan itu semoga Allah menolong kita.

9. “Sesungguhnya Allah pasti menolong orang yang menolong (agama)-Nya. Sesungguhnya Allah benar-benar Maha Kuat lagi Maha Perkasa”. (Al Hajj : 40)

10. “Ingatlah, sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu amat dekat”. (Al Baqarah : 214)

Itulah janji Allah. Dan Allah tidak akan menyalahi janjinya. Kalaupun Allah tidak / belum mengabulkan doa kita, tentu ada hikmah dan kasih sayang Allah yang lebih besar buat kita. Kita harus berbaik sangka kepada Allah. Inilah keyakinan yang harus ada pada setiap muslim.

Jadi, kenapa ragu dengan janji Allah?

Chandraleka
hchandraleka(at)telkom.net

Footnote:
[1] Lihat Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Konsep Perkawinan dalam Islam, Pustaka Istiqomah, Cet. II, 1995, hal. 12
[2] Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Adab & Sebab Terkabulnya Do’a, Pustaka Imam Asy-Syafi’i, Cet. I, Des 2004, hal. 1 – 2
[3] Allah turun ke langit dunia setiap malam pada sepertiga malam terakhir. Allah lalu berfirman, “Siapa yang berdoa kepada-Ku niscaya Aku kabulkan! Siapa yang meminta kepada-Ku niscaya Aku beri! Siapa yang meminta ampun kepada-Ku tentu Aku ampuni.” Demikianlah keadaannya hingga fajar terbit. (HR. Bukhari 145, Muslim 758) (lihat Tahajjud Nabi, Sa’id bin ‘Ali bin Wahf Al Qahthani, Media Hidayah, Sept. 2003, hal. 27).
[4] Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Adab & Sebab Terkabulnya Do’a, Pustaka Imam Asy-Syafi’i, Cet. I, Des 2004, hal. 8 – 14
[5] Idem, hal. 15 – 22
[6] Abdul Hakim bin Amir Abdat, Al – Masaa-il Jilid 3, Penerbit Darul Qalam, Jakarta, Cet. II, 2004 M, hal. 103
[7] Idem, hal. 105
[8] Idem, hal. 101

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Referensi: Referensi : Footnote: [1] Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Konsep Perkawinan dalam Islam, Pustaka Istiqomah, Cet. II, 1995 [2] Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Adab & Sebab Terkabulnya Do’a, Pustaka Imam Asy-Syafi’i, Cet. I, Des 2004 [3] Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas, Adab & Sebab Terkabulnya Do’a, Pustaka Imam Asy-Syafi’i, Cet. I, Des 2004 [4] Abdul Hakim bin Amir Abdat, Al – Masaa-il Jilid 3, Penerbit Darul Qalam, Jakarta, Cet. II, 2004 M

[Kontributor : Chandraleka, 25 Juni 2005 ]

still getting married. still want to be married. the process of becoming married could be more fun. i plan on being piss drunk most of my wedding day so i'm sure i'll enjoy it. that and i'll have mad libs. maybe lawn bowling. how could it not be fun?

nope still haven't gone to wal-mart, still can't find any damn good fish around here, i want fish tacos really, really bad and alas no fish to be had, i must post pictures of the garden as it is quite jungle-like, rather sick of the pumpkins but those slow food folks seem to think they're the best pumpkins ever and so they're allowed to grow even though they can get up to 75 pounds!! oh dear. i used to like mario batali but i hate him now. i had a small grease fire due to him and his stupid cookbook. although the food tasted damn good. i can't remember the recipe but it was something like shitloads of garlic in olive oil and then wine and saute it for ages. apparently i promised garden pictures last year and they never materialized. i'm one stop ahead of last year, i've actually taken pictures! david took some from on top the barn, i do hope they come out well.

Cezanne is still right - "The day is coming when a single carrot, freshley observed, will set off a revolution". I had a carrot worthy of just such a revolution, grown by the amish as i'm incapable of growing carrots. they amish also sold me raw, unpasteurized honey, i was about out so i need not worry for awhile. they say people are something like 9 meals from a revolution. i'm thinking those 9 meals really should be up by now. instead i have my own little mini revolution at home. i also give people strokes at work when they smell what i cook and they wonder why my food is good and theirs is bad. my food is real and fresh and their food is icky and comes from boxes and jars and factories. yuck poo.

what else, yah pretty sure god still hates me. he probably hates you too. i listened to this dude the other day who was speaking at princeton talk about how martin luther was a terribly depressed person because he realized for god to be real he must really be fucking evil. at least i'm not complaining about a lack of rain this year.

i haven't heard about people issuing death threats against the hedge funds anymore. they really should. if they were pissed a year ago, holy crap what are they now? oh yeah but the dollar is getting all better now magically right?!! at least people did lower their consumption of gas this year, although they only way to get them to change that behavior is to make them hurt. they won't do it out of the good of their hearts and concern for the fucking planet that they keep insisting they have the right to overpopulate.

oh and i really need to return the god delusion, wow. i know right where it is. i kinda hated it. the guy was full of himself. couldn't get through it. dawkins schmawkins.

the pretty picture i made in 5/07 is gone. sniff.

apparently many many many americans still don't believe in evolution. why i live here i wonder. i think the only thing keeping me around is the fact that my house is paid for and i have great dirt. of course that great dirt makes some great tomatoes.

jerry falwell is luckily still dead.

i still love me some http://www.karmabanque.com/ and yeasty lesbians http://yeastradio.com/ and as terrible as this podcast is i love it too http://www.keithandthegirl.com/ even though it insults the greatness of the other two podcasts. something about those morons...

i don't care to log on to myspace to find out if they brought the gay back.

i honestly haven't bought pants in like a year. how weird is that? i do really want a pair of overalls though. i wanna be all farmery. plus you can wear overalls and like a sports bra and totally be set, no more clothes needed and you're all airy and not confined and maybe not so sweaty.

still love this poem:

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker

the people that were dead a year ago are still dead now. then more people died too. it happens, like everyday even.

and i'm still not saying anything that anyone else isn't saying. but more need to be saying it so that the morons can be drowned out.

the secret is still a pile of horseshit and apparently now people with whom i work even believe in it. people i like. i think they got the misguided belief that i like it, but maybe that is okay. i don't need to tell everyone that they believe in horseshit, i could try to be nicer. it is so hard sometimes though.

i still love my geek, a lot. we started a blog together and we seriously cannot remember the name of the blog. at all. dunno where it went. probably for the best. i hate correcting his spelling. i love him, not his spelling. he knows that.

still a public radio member. can barely pay bills, i just wrote out a check for $800 for propane for the winter, but um yay i give money away to an organization that has a gazillion dollar endowment and probably doesn't need the money.

rachel ray is still i cunt i hear, i haven't had tv in a couple years so i haven't seen her lately. i hope she's getting fat.

i still don't sew any of my own clothes. i started a purse, didn't like it, quit. i still sew quilts! though how many quilts can one human being use really? still haven't donated any. i'm a terrible person. what's new. just as selfish as the rest of the country. we did donate stuff to the salvation army. i did also sell some crap on ebay. i think i might also be more patient with the boy, although who really uses 3 q-tips after a shower? i know they're cheap, but 3??? wow.

oh i'm graduating! this week! about fucking time. someome gimme a social worker job that actually pays a bit more than i make now. please.

still havent' fixed up spare room. but i have an excuse. spare room had a leak in the roof above it. so spare room had to wait til i could guarantee leak was fixed. spare room ain't gettin fixed now til after wedding and gardening season are over.

i had this goal to find ways to support myself that don't include working. honestly i've found a lot of ways that i could support myself pretty well i think, if only i didn't feel as if i absolutely have to have insurance. i cannot responsibly live without it. with how things are, i can't quit my job and lose my health insurance. no way. so i don't follow my bliss. sucks don't it? of course it doesn't suck as much as people have it in say the sex slavery trade, people living in borneo (maybe, i dunno i have never been to borneo), i met people in paris that would give their right and left nuts to come to america (of course the french hate the africans, the africans are confused and think george bush really is going to save the world, the man better hurry up as he doesn't have much time left).

oh and i still believe that sex cures all ills, be it physical or societal. however don't share the details with your children. pleeeeeease. kthx.

i'm sad to report that 1/8/07 i found a new sexual position apparently and as of today, a year and a half later, i have no fucking clue what i was talking about. i also can't believe some of the stuff i put on the interwebs. yeesh.

the fairmont sentinel seriously needs to get permalinks for stories and keep em there. i don't think they get the idea of the internet. boo.

i actually got 5 comments on a post! wow.

yah myspace still hasn't deleted the account. they deleted david's for inactivity, but not mine. they just love my even jesus hates you picture i'm sure.

still haven't gotten to norway to see the gay animal exhibition. boo.

i *still* don't have the cone. i do have this plug in thing though, wow. maybe i don't need a cone.

my underwear still means i'm bad apparently.

and i don't have my own universe. really? boo. we're so gonna fall behind the chinese. then they're going to cut us up alive for organs to sell to the russians. i don't like that picture. though we may all be too fat for that, the russians might not want our organs. hmm.

1) Corpse Bride Wedding Cake
Tim Burton's vision of strange love makes a great theme for newlyweds that are a little off the beaten path. While we could highlight Pink Cake Box's incredible cake designs for all 20 cakes (but we won't), here's one of their magnificent masterpieces using Tim Burton's Corpse Bride characters.

2) Bride Wedding Cake
You may have seen this online before, but it bears a spot on the outrageous list. This wedding cake designer chose to design a cake that looked like the bride and that's just a bizarre thing to do.

3) The No Idea Wedding Cake
While truly a gorgeous cake, one has to wonder if the designer forgot what they were designing and just went haywire. A Chocolate AND vanilla cake all lined with pink cookies, silver leaves, bon bons, white lace, chocolate caramel truffles and all topped with a crown, will make your teeth ache just thinking about eating this thing.

4) Off Balance Wedding Cake
This layered wedding cake shows the groomsmen keeping the wedding cake balanced while the bride and groom try and stay upright on the top. A truly strange decision makes a remarkable looking cake.

5) Lobster Wedding Cake
The unusual decision to do away with the everyday sweet cake in exchange for a, um, lobster cake was an unusual decision and one that will certainly be remembered for years to come. I would have loved to be there to watch the "first cut".

6) White Chocolate Spikes Wedding Cake
While this cake doesn't look cuddly or approachable, it definitely will stand out in people's memories as that spiky cake, the likes of which no one has ever seen before.

7) Gun Lovers Wedding Cake
A perfect cake for a couple that met at the last NRA convention. Not sure what this says about this couple, but I wouldn't want to be around in an argument.

8) Rev the Engine Wedding Cake
There's so much that can be said about this wedding cake, but there either had to be a guy in the kitchen during the making of this cake or it's one heck of a woman!

9) The Nintendo Wedding Cake
For old school gamers, this Nintendo 64 wedding cake would make any gamer giddy with glee.

10) Nightmare Before Christmas Wedding Cake
A beautiful Nightmare Before Christmas wedding cake featuring great lines and graphic work

11) Our Story Wedding Cake
These folks had quite a story to tell. While only folks close to the family would understand everything the cake represents, it has a lot to say.

12) Doughnuts and Coffee Wedding Cake
This would be Homer Simpson's favorite wedding cake as well as for doughnut and coffee lovers everywhere.

13) Neverending Story Wedding Cake
One of the most memorable children's movies translates into one of the most memorable wedding cakes.

14) Under the Sea Wedding Cake
Continuing with people's fascination with the ocean, this couple created a wonderful underwater scene with lobsters, reefs, and shells.

15) Brutal Murder Wedding Cake
Not sure what to say about this cake that depicts the bride pushing the groom off of the cake and down to his bloody death below. Maybe the in-laws made this cake?

16) Skull and Crossbones Wedding Cake
Strange decision for wedding cake colors as they chose red and black. Not the most romantic of cakes, but my guess is that both of the newlyweds have multiple tattoos and piercings.

17) Bloody Bride Carrie Wedding Cake
Keeping with the bloody dark and twisted theme here in the teens, this cake definitely fits in the outrageous category displaying a Carrie-like bride holding a bouquet of flowers doused in blood and donning a sign saying "They're all gonna laugh at you."

18) Mario Wedding Cake
Moving away from the blood and gore brings us to a video gamers delight as we now showcase this incredible wedding cake of Mario and the Princess tying the knot at last.

19) Neiman Marcus Wedding Cake
The recipients of this wedding cake either had stock in Needless Markups, oops, I mean Neiman Marcus, or the bride has a huge compassion to shop. Needless to say, welcome to tacky-land.

20) Fairy Tale Carriage Wedding Cake
And the last cake on the outrageous factor has both beauty, elegance, fairy tale wedding motif and is truly on the grand scale of cakes you'll remember, it's the fairy tale carriage wedding cake.

Let us know about other great and bizarre wedding cakes you've found and tell us about it. If you're in the need for wedding cake toppers, wedding cake utensils, or even unique wedding favors, look no further than My Wedding Favors located online at http://www.myweddingfavors.com.

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I am so glad I decided not to officiate the ceremony.  Jonas's uncle Donnie did an incredible job and it really felt good to play just the role of Brooke's dad.  After a group prayer in which the family gathered around the bride and groom the pastor asked, "Who gives this woman to be with this man?"  In the best proud dad voice I could muster I said, "Her mother and I."  Lisa hugged Brooke and kissed her and headed toward her chair.  I hugged and kissed her.  Then I turned to Jonas and hugged and kissed him, and put the hand of my most precious little girl into his hand to have and to hold not to be parted till life on this earth is over. 

I remember the first time I laid eyes on Brooke.  After over thirty hours of labor and an emergency c-section, the nurse rolled her into the hallway where I waited anxiously to see her.  She weighed in at an even ten pounds,  looked as alert and aware of her surroundings as she does now, and we made eye contact.  I know she smiled at me.  It was a smile that lit up the hallway and put great joy in my heart.  It was the same smile I see her give Jonas.  Up to this point, at twenty-three years old, I was too tough and immature to show my emotions.  I made eye contact with my beautiful baby girl for the first time and I burst into tears, went to my knees, and cried like a baby.  I became a dad and my life changed forever.  Better then I ever could have imagined.

I have caught myself over and over again saying how proud I am to have raised such an incredible daughter.  When we walked through the back doors of the worship center, and every one stood to honor and smile at Brooke, it was a most proud moment for me as her father.  Lisa and I have truly been blessed as parents.

It is naturally human to be proud.  I realized this morning that things could be different.  I am not going to dwell on what different could be.  Brooke is Brooke and she is a blessing by the grace of God.  Instead of being proud, I need to be careful to be blessed to be dad. 

Pride is being thankful to myself, and being blessed is being thankful to God.  The Bible teaches us that being prideful actually blocks God's blessing while being humble and realizing that blessings are from God brings more blessing and a closer relationship to our Father in Heaven. (1 Peter 5:5) 

I have messed up a lot as Brooke's dad, but by the grace of God, He turned her into an incredible human being.  I am sure I will use the word proud again.  Please remind me to be careful to be blessed.

I know that I have been withdrawing from people again but this time not so obviously . I am feeling bad about not responding to the sexual abuse forum that I am on but if I ignore it I dont need to think about it and can at least save my sanity a small amount.

10 days now until I am a married woman and starting a whole new chapter of my life.

Oh dear God! In case you’re wondering, Max is not her boyfriend – or, at least, he wasn’t, last we heard. She’s meant to be going out with Faris Rotter from the Horrors – and we saw them together just a week or two ago.