and i'm not sure what's going on in hollywood but there's a huge gay movement.  i mean really.  i've seen more gays the last few times i've been to the movies than crackheads downtown louisville.

but it's all good.  michael cera plays the bass player in an otherwise all gay band.  whatever. 

here's the deal, there's this band called "where's fluffy".  and thier thing they just play surprise shows.  they leave hints in other clubs and let the radio stations know where they are at the last minute.  so all these teen age kids run around new york city all night looking for this fluffy band.

they also run around doing a bunch of highschool crap.  like nick's ex girlfriend after find out her little friend from prep school likes nick, starts trying to get all over him again.  you know, highschool style.  but we all know from the beginning, not to mention the title, that nick and norah are ment to be together.  norah is not nick's ex.

norah is a friend of nick's ex from highschool where they all wear little catholic girl outfits.  that's great.  but norah has snagged a few of the mix cd's nick has made for his ex.  which she just tosses away like a pretty little bratty girl.

blah blah blah, run around new york city, listen to crappy emo music, fall in love.

it really is a good film with a good message too i think.

three and a half mix cd's out of five.

I could go on forever about men, women, and their needs and the way they relate in all of those aspects, but who has the time? I could especially go on about gender equality when it comes to the world of porn, but my co-blogger already said it brilliantly: Porn just isn't made for women. Women can still enjoy it, but sadly, it's not usually made with their interest in mind.

And while you should be able to tell by now that we love the filthy stuff (shit, look at half the stuff we review here), we here at Carnal Knowledge still first and foremost like the romantic stuff, the stuff with real intimacy. We like the stuff with the two partners coming together equally and then, you know, cumming together.

I bring this up because the post I have for you today is a perfect example of what gender roles are like in today's porn. The clip is called "Brunette Milf fucks her client", which isn't at all accurate. The video is about a man and a woman coming together to negotiate their interest in each other and what their roles will be in a primarily sexual coupling. Ultimately they decide to go for the same ol' thing and then get right to the hard fucking. The woman looks like a super porned up version of Betty Page and the man looks like he's either a marine or in the WWE, and the video is kind of hot in it's raw enthusiasm. That is, if you don't get turned off by how horrible of a forecast it paints for men and woman understanding each other.

Using a similar premise, but with actors keeping their clothes on, I present to you below a short film entitled "Consent," that was written and directed by Jason Reitman, son of Ivan, and director of both Thank You For Smoking and Juno. Funny stuff.

It doesn't have to be all Seduce and Destroy, people.

Oh, and just for the men in the audience: Here's a helpful guide to understanding women. Talk to your lover and don't go around thinking it's okay to suck. Just remember: Women may find a dick attractive, but no one finds a douchebag attractive.

Speaking of inevatibility, I saw "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" today. Let me tell give you a few insights:
1) I dare Michael Cera, the guy who plays Nick, to make a movie outside of being a sensitive musician dude. I fucking dare him. You know what would be sick? Die Hard 5 starring Michael Cera.
2) I further dare Michael Cera to be my best friend. Maybe one day he'll google himself and see how many times he came up in this blog and want to call me.
C) I tried so hard the whole movie to make Kat Dennings, the girl who played Norah, ugly. At first I was like..."she's not supposed to be that super hot girl", but she was, and it broke my heart. So...
4) I have a dare for you, Kat Dennings. I'm a 21 year old black musician. Let's go on a date. I'll fly to LA or wherever you are. We can even make a fucking game show out of it.
"America's Next Top Date Kat Dennings". I'll fight mad niggas. Fuck, I'll even fight that dude Vincent who I'll talk about later.
5) I dare any nigga to tell me that movie was bad. Any nigga!
6) I'd be sad if I missed Where's Fluffy because I didn't want to walk onto some random nigga's roof. But I guess that's the difference between NYC and.....Charleston. Roofs belong to the public.

Speaking of niggas, what are you going to be for Halloween? Please tell me it's the sexy (insert job you'd never actually do). Sexy racecar driver? No helmet? You can't wear a helmet and be sexy? Tell me safe ain't sexy. I know the sexy cop doesn't wear a bulletproof vest. I want a sexy robber to shoot a sexy cop and tell me how that ends up.

Speaking of robbers, please tell me you're watching Heroes on NBC. Actually, don't tell me. Just watch it. Comes on tomorrow night. You got mad catching up to do. Only about 38 episodes. They're about 42 minutes a piece. Don't hurt yourself though. I did it in about a week with the help of Rainbro.
LINK DROP! http://rainbro.wordpress.com/

And to conlude my post today, you're gonna read this and go "1, 2, C, 4, 5, 6?", and I'm going to hate you forever. I think I said some more important things than that.

You deserve it.

However, skip buying the soundtrack.

That was the first thought I had when I found out he was starring in the movie, and it continued to be my thought throughout the film.

Now, don't get me wrong--I love Michael Cera. And I thoroughly enjoyed his performance in Nick & Norah, just as I did in Arrested Development, Superbad, and Juno. Which isn't at all surprising, since he plays essentially the same character--albeit with slightly different wardrobes and some little physical idiosyncrasies--in all four.

But I still really firmly believe that another actor would have made more sense in the role.

(Go ahead, tell me what a dope I am and how wonderful he is. It's cool.)

Regardless, I loved the movie. There were some significant deviations from the book (and not just the damn flannel shirt) but they all felt pretty natural and didn't take anything away from the original story. In fact, the sex scene actually added a lot, and made the romance feel a lot... I dunno... nicer than in the book.

And, yes, there were some concessions clearly made to make the traditional teen comedy crowd happy, like the gross gum you've probably already heard about or a really unfortunate scene in a Port Authority women's room. But there were also some great moments, and a lot of great on-screen chemistry.

I'll say it: it's a feel-good movie.

i guess it's not just my age literally. i felt good about my ability to be courteous, friendly, professional, witty, etc. to the right extent, without going too far. Knowing what not to say. Knowing when to end a conversation, etc. I think that it's a combination of knowledge, self-awareness, confidence. "style," maybe. I'm not sure what to call it, but i am happy that at least in a few moments as of late, i have somehow managed, i humbly think i have managed to have a little [style].

And it's a good feeling. I think that knowing that you're making sexy-wise decisions to keep yourself on the road to growth really helps. Anyway.

I have seen several movies in the last week or so. I will comment on them briefly, not because i don't have a TON of commentary to make, but if i wait until i have the time and energy to type it all, it will never get done.

Choke:
Very interesting. Can't really recommend to anyone who is offended by sexual topics and content. However, it definitely went down like a unique chilean wine, which is how Palahniuk's writing appears to me to be. Also, it really made me face my own ideas of the whole "pain of changing being less than the pain of staying the same" kin of level and also the sometimes inverse connection between Sex and Love.

Eagle Eye:
This was surprisingly good. Transformers aside, I usually can't stand Shy Le Beef. But i gotta hand it to him, he did a great job in this film. I was kept interested in the plot, i could have been spoon-fed a *little* bit less, but it was still exciting to see it unfold. Once the pace picks up, it doesn't really let you slide back into your seat. I could have done without the typography and music looking and sounding just like a 24 movie, because it made me want Jack Bauer.

Religulous:
I was seriously impressed with this movie. I was a bit wary of watching it, feeling like it might just be sitting through Maher's insults for 2 hours. But I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, it's hilarious. plain and simple. even if you disagree with what he is saying, you laugh at quite a bit. Secondly, although at the most root level I disagree with Maher's assertion that ALL religion is detrimental to the progress and safety of the world, i DO agree with a lot of what he says about the dangers of being fanatical and zealous with our certainty of faith, brandishing God's voice like a pistol with which we use to whip all naysayers and doubters.

He goes through lots of different religions (Christianity, Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, even a quick stop in Amsterdam for Cantheism) and showcases some of their worser blunders and holes in thinking. Much like Saved!, I fear this film will end up never being seen (or being boycotted) by a lot of the people who need to see it most.

Nick and Nora's Infinte Playlist:
This is another good movie. I think if you hate chick flick AND music-y flicks, you probably won't like unless you're a die-hard Michael Cera fan. I don't think I would have enjoyed it QUITE as much had i not seen it with a female, but either way, the music aspects of the film were great, not to mention the music in it (i want the soundtrack), and also Michael Cera is at his wonderful, subtle acting best. Not that it tops Juno. But, then again, not much does.

2) There's a pretty hilarious Devendra Banhart cameo where he goes into a convenience store wearing a bathrobe-type thing. Actually, it's only funny if you recognize him. Also, Nick's cellphone ringtone is 'Boys Don't Cry' by the Cure. It's the kind of in-joke that you expect the whole audience to get until you realize that half of the audience is 14 year old girls who have never heard of the Cure. The movie is full of such really obvious alt-culture touchstones. There are too many to list.

3) The movie is good natured, well paced, and thoroughly enjoyable. Michael Cera is his usual thoroughly charming self.

4) Without denying its appeal, I need say that the movie badly misrepresents the experience it tries to capture. A caveat: this criticism is based on my admittedly subjective personal highschool experience. Nick and Nora deals with a lot of things that are quite similar to things I went through in highschool, except that it softens all the blows and smoothes out all the edges. It's true that being a teenager and spending all night running around a city, going to shows with your best friends and falling in love all at the same time is a really magical (I know, stupid word, but I can't actually state it better) and intense experience. The film pretends to want to capture that. Maybe it genuinely wants to capture that, but it pulls all of its punches.

The real fear that happens when a friend is drunk and lost in a strange city is turned into a catalyst for highjinks. The way you listen through layers of shitty fuzzy recordings because you've just discovered that some weird Canadian songwriter is secretly the most profound thing in the world is just not the stuff of a popular movie, but it is exactly at the heart of the kind of romance the film pretends to depict. Maybe I'm just being a curmudgeon and maybe I'm being nostalgic for something that is just different today than it was, but I'm pretty sure that the awkward teen-aged indie rock nerds that Nick and Nora are supposed to represent are still going on these kinds of adventures in a world where the music, the people, and the emotions in which they are immersed are infinitely rougher, messier, and more intense.

I don't have the name of the Asian guy who also showed us his sub steamy acting chops on 21, but if anyone from Hollywood is reading this now please never hire him again.

I really wanted this to be good. I was salivating all week but it wasn't. Should have had a rewrite and another director. Cera as hilarious, Kat held her own despite poor dialogue and the rest of the characters were throwaways like Random Black Man 4 in a Michael Bay "movie."

At 24 I felt ancient at the theatre. Operation American Hipster Takeover is in full effect.

Juno this is not. Don't expect anything less than a director trying to ride the wave. After hours and days of my own writing the fact that this movie sailed thru into production makes me sick. On a side note, Kat's boobs are huge. What's she doing with those things?

Fijn nieuws trouwens: volgens de Kinepolissite zou de Arctic Monkeys film 14 oktober in de cinema's komen.

Last night I had the pleasure of watching the heartwarming romantic comedy, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - a film I had almost dismissed as a teen party flick.

I was pleasantly surprised by this wonderful little movie!

Based on the novel by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, this adaptation directed by Peter Sollett is a refreshingly smart teen romance that combines elements of such classic stories as Before Sunrise, Once and When Harry Met Sally.

Like Juno, Nick and Nora is a refreshing surprise that radiates the elements of a contemporary classic film.

Michael Cera gives another brilliant performance as "Nick" that surpasses his roles in both Juno and Superbad, evoking an endearing mixture of understated, quiet emotion and smart sarcasm .

Kat Dennings’ performance as "Norah" is just as brilliant, a younger version of Kate Winslet, walking the delicate balance found in some of our most beloved female heroines - demonstrating an independent spirit who has a constantly conflicted view of herself, always struggling to project self-confidence in a world that constantly delivers situations that create self-doubt.

The Verdict

With the sleepless nightlife of New York City as a backdrop and a solid indie music soundtrack adding as much texture and life to the story as the fresh, young cast, Nick and Norah is a wonderfully entertaining romp that I am predicting that we will likely watch (and rewatch) for years to come.

~Calliope

Anyway, me and my friends Nikki, Cambria and Abby went to see it in Chelsea last night. So amazing! Well, first we went to Dallas BBQ, which always rocks my world, although I did get ketchup all over myself, which is par for the course but still highly annoying. We like the Chelsea Clearview Theater because the popcorn is particularly good, but I had a big eating day yesterday and could not consume any, to my abject horror. But whatever!

The movie was particularly fun because a lot of it takes place in what I consider sort of "my New York." Lots of shots of the main characters running around the East Village, where I spend a disproportionate amount of my time considering I live nowhere near there, and Nick and Norah and the whole crew first try to find Where's Fluffy? at Union Pool (in the movie they call it Brooklyn Pool), which is literally down the street from where my best friend Cambria lives in Williamsburg.

I have a lot of conversations, mainly with my coworker Sunil, about how the New York you see in movies and TV is practically unrecognizable to people who live here, and I actually think of "movie New York" as a completely separate place than real New York--the city showcased in things like Sex and the City is just as much a fantasy for me as it is for everyone who doesn't live here, because it barely resembles New York the way it really is.

But the New York of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist felt familiar to me, and I think they did a pretty good job of capturing it the way it is, for the most part. Maybe that's because my life in a way resembles that of the main characters of the movie/novel--lots of running around to different bars in different neighborhoods, seeing people you know even though New York has 10 million people and you think you'd be safe, with the parts featuring Caroline PARTICULARLY realistic and uncomfortably familiar to me and my friends. Cambria lamented, "That means we're like high schoolers," but actually I think that it means that the main characters are acting more like they're in their twenties. The only thing I found highly unrealistic was all the driving and miraculously finding places to park within seconds of arriving at a destination. There's no reason to drive in New York, and definitely no parking in the Village on a Friday night. But, quibbles.

Like I said, the movie was excellent. I just got finished downloading the soundtrack a few minutes ago; I bought it because there was a new Vampire Weekend song you can't download on its own ("Ottoman"), but the whole soundtrack is pretty fantastic, so I ponied up the twelve dollars and said to hell with it. I really loved Kat Dennings as Norah. I was afraid they'd try to gussy her up a little bit, but they didn't, and they made sure she wasn't whispy thin, because Norah in the books was such a real, flesh-and-blood girl who ate Ukranian food at three in the morning. Kat Dennings always reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where she plays the spoiled daughter of some tycoon who wants Samantha to plan her bat mitzvah ("that brat-mitzvah beast", as Samantha calls her), but I recently saw her in Charlie Bartlett, and she is equally charming and warm and real in that movie. She and Michael Cera, who played Nick much closer to Paulie Bleeker from Juno than George Michael from Arrested Development, which was a good choice, had so much chemistry together. I can't wait to buy this movie on DVD and watch it all the damn time.

the submarines - xavia.mp3
vampire weekend - ottoman.mp3
clap your hands say yeah - satan said dance.mp3

+Pros:

Admittedly, Michael Cera is good at playing Michael Cera

Kat Dennings is a cutie pie, wrapped up in a sugary pinata...nestled in a box of tsunamis

A review of it would appease my university's newspaper-reading audience

-Cons:

Trailer was a pile of mediocrity

Juno 2?

faux teenage hipster trashiness abounds

Enjoy!

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Blindness

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

An American Carol

Religulous

That’s it. I’m done. I’m officially canceling my subscription to the Michael Cera Is Awesome Fan Club. Stick a fork in him, hit him with a beat-up Pinto or beat him over the head with anti-freeze laden beer jugs - he’s done.

If I could address He Who Be Brampton’s Softest, Awkwardest Soul in person, I’d probably tell him a lot of things. Heartfelt things. Or possibly just smack him across the head with a bag full of orange tic-tacs. Not sure which at this point. Either way, he’s so crying his eyes out afterwards.

As you all probably know by now, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist came out today. I’ve seen it already. And let me tell you: there are four kinds of people who love a movie like this.

If you’re a wannabe hipster teen with obscure tastes in Nerdcore, Queercore or whatever, you’ll love this movie. If you’re a shy indie teen girl (or shy indie twentysomething girl still trying to make up for lost time) longing for the shy, indie teen boy (or a not-so-shy, indie twentysomething boy that attends a college for “music production” downtown by day, sleeps with pierced vegans by night), you will go bat-shit-freakin-loco over this movie.

And if you’re a Sensitive Artist, longing to re-imagine all those endless nights out drinking, dropping cell phones in public toilets and imaging how you’d totally graffiti up a Goth club because it’s Beautiful, you’re going to love it. No, really, these are truly endless nights – the Sensitive Artist hasn’t been employed in four years!

And finally, if you’re a university/college student, wishing you could throw off the shackles of the Like, Totally, Evil Professors and Bosses and just let the kids rock out, balls out, you’re going to be fiercely, supremely turned on by this movie.

Otherwise, you’ll probably come out of it hating Hollywood more than ever before.

Gawker’s already posted a link on why Nick and Norah is basically a teen movie for faux-hipsters (and modern hipsters with very short memories).

If you define edgy as a night of pill-popping, powder-sniffing, violence inducing, car-crashing ironic pleasure, then Nick and Norah will bore you to tears. If you’re anywhere near a state of emotional maturity, Nick and Norah will infuriate you. If you find jokes involving Jesus, puke and stripteases from girls that look like they haven’t eaten real food since 1998 strangely annoying, you’ll hate this movie.

But that’s all besides the point here. What I’m going to say, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle-style, is that Michael Cera is a one-trick pony. And no one’s riding this horse home tonight. Not anymore.

Cera’s slow descent into Typecast Hell (normally part of Dante’s Circles of Hell, but I’ve heard the Devil’s put reservations out on a new piece of land exclusively for Henry Winkler, Elizabeth Berkley and that actress from Will & Grace) started two years ago.

Superbad. Ah Superbad, the movie we all love for its authenticity, booze and copious bodily fluids. In this Apatow-produced ode to teenage lustdom, Cera basically played it awkward, including being profoundly afraid of his fellow Canadian, Martha MacIssac, when she inexplicably put the moves on his meek self. But back in 2007, this was also known as “cutely endearing.”

Then came Juno, or as some people have called it, Superbad 2: She’s Super-Preggers.

Cera, once again, played himself – awkward, deer-caught-in-headlights-style. Remarkably, the script even called for the Force of Nature known as Canadian Ellen Page to sleep with Cera’s character, Paulie Bleeker (meeker?). Given the look on Cera’s face during the act o’ love-making – a look that can best be described as Seagal-esque in its unchanging ways – the term “cutely endearing” slowly began to turn into “endearingly annoying.”

Now comes Nick and Norah. Basically, long story short: Cera’s once again in the clutches of a cruel, sexually frustrated young lass named Tris, played by Alexis Dziena. Of course, along comes Norah – Nick’s fantasy come to life. She’s basically the female version of Nick/Cera: immaculate taste in obscure, barely accessible music, full of witty quips that only a solid screenwriter could conjure up, and world-class experts at using thinly-veiled hostility to mask a huge fear of romantic and – gasp! – sexual intimacy.

And here’s where Cera’s begun the downward spirial. He’s no longer even endearing. He’s now That Guy – the self-loathing Artiste type whose awkwardness is now, not surprisingly, unattractive to most women and virtually all men. He’s Emo, Elmo and Fat Elvis all in one.

This is why Michael Cera must do a prison movie.

I’m not talking Green Mile prison movie. I’m talking Shawshank Redemption. I’m talking Oz. I’m talking an entire movie version of Ashton Kutcher’s experience in prison in The Butterfly Effect. I’m talking HBO-National Geographic Channel-lurid.

Why? Two reasons: one, he deserves it, and two, it will make Cera cool again.

First, who wouldn’t want to pay good money to see a soft, gentle soul like Cera get a daily rundown from guys named Gino and Tracy? I’m no sadist, but really, seeing Cera under constant threat from angry guys looking for their next prison “wife” would unleash a society-wide catharsis the likes of which haven’t been seen since Tom Hanks did Philadelphia. Guys would feel both happy and strangely conflicted with seeing Cera get his ass beat, and the ladies would probably be strangely into seeing Cera grow some edge to his less-than-edgy self.

Why will it make him cool again? Because he’ll be a man when he’s done his stint in the joint. He’ll be offered roles that will show off his masculinity, not hide it behind bass guitars. He’ll be colder, darker, but richer as a character. In short, he’ll be Adrian Brody.

But at least he’ll be our Adrian Brody.

The film wasn't a total laugh riot, and there were a few moments that things felt a little flat, but it was certainly punctuated with moments of sheer joy.  Lots of great lines and just overall a good time.