As mentioned, this week has been a week of multiple 'first-times'! I've unknowingly attempted so much that i've not planned for and the feeling, after going through it all , is just GREAT. I was watching a hongkong movie today on Chn 62 and i was unexpectedly enlightened! One of the lead actresses mentioned something about life being full of fears and we should take every single possible opportunity to overcome these fears before gets too late to regret those great things we could have done, but retreated due to our lack of confidence and fear. Sounds like a logic that almost everyone knows, but fail to put into practice till our deathbeds. And we lie there , in that wooden box buried 6 feets under wondering what we could have done for those past times.

The first activity that zoomed the week was the Flying Trip @ Malaysia last saturday. It was spectacular. Initially it was kinda weird cuz most of the guys who went for the trip were like super engineering students who were particularly keen on aviation. Man, i bet they were wondering what on earth was an arts student like me doing in the midst of this 'we-love-engineering' group. But well oh well, putting such differences aside, i must say i thoroughly enjoyed myself that day, although personal flight time was only 30 minutes. The day started with some introductions , followed by some Voice procedure briefings and introduction to some ground school lessons. The flight started with the instructing pilot controlling the key controls while we steer the direction of the plane. Take off was smooth but as the plane ascended, my heart started to pounce faster and faster. The thrill started when i tried to descend the plane just a little, it felt so much like a roller coastal fall . You know, the feeling of having your heart in your mouth. Words can't describe how great the feeling of controlling the plane yourself is, although i was a little paranoid.The highlight of the flight for me , was definitely the air acrobatics that the pilot performed. And guess what, I was sitting right in the cockpit ! We did sharp manoeuvres , fast flypast many weird and really exciting moves that got me pretty much in shock actually.The plane certainly didn't look capable of carrying out such high-speed stunts! The biggest thing that i experience was the plane fall! Or at least, it felt like a plane fall. The plane just dived right towards the woods below with me feeling as if i'm in Jurassic Park 3 with my 747 crashing right into the woods , totally bounded only by the straps of the safety belt.My headset flew right to the back behind me totally.All the force was just totally brought up to my head!As scarey as it sounds, its still a DAMN cool experience, i have never experienced such weird force effects before.. superb experience of the year. Kudos!

Next up ..'work stuff'..totally no mood to talk about it now but hmm in short. I received a new jobscope and a new 'working environment'. i am adapting slightly well so hope things go smoothly till i finally 'FINISH my BOND'. So thats something totally new for me too.

And today i did something really stupidly new too, that was being emcee for a event. It was kinda stressing, considering this was my first time doing it. Handling such a role with no prior experience in such a rather massive event.. i have to admit i was superbly nervous through out and i tried my best although i screwed up a couple of times...i got pissed off at times too and i felt bad for my mistakes. But sometimes i wonder if its worth the the point of feeling bad for these people above us because they have to answer for our mistakes. But who knows , maybe we're just simply their stepping stones to higher grounds. I'm not sure about this, but i certainly hope these guys aren't like that.but still, i can't believe someone fussed me over a stupid little small error!! Oh my..please don't give me so many first times in a week ok?! Its just super pants-peeing.

Yeah, you think I DON'T see you there Mr. Happy Face? C'mon, who made this template and made it available on Wordpress.com?

Oh right, it sources them right at the bottom.

Now there is some truth to the notion.  But it's hardly the whole picture.  It ignores the fact that we develop the ability to accept or reject feedback from other people.  And, we invent feedback that is not spoken.  This invented feedback is an interesting thing.  Where does it come from?  It comes from the person's own mind.  On some level, this is what they believe about themselves.  This is the psychological defense mechanism of projection. 

It is important to consider feedback from other people.  Sometimes, we need to make some changes in how we see the world, how we think, and how we act.  But, we need to keep in mind the difference between what is spoken by another person, "You need to work harder," and what is projected, "She thinks I'm a lazy bum."  We have a natural tendency to want to take the perspective of another person.  And this is an essential part of our humanity.  But...but....here's the catch.  This is a place where our own conscious or unconscious thoughts about ourselves can be transferred to other people. 

Maybe you've heard a saying similar to this:

"His opinion and 75 cents will buy me a cup of coffee."

Now, some people seem almost completely immune to receiving, or responding to, feedback.  These are people at the extremes...Extremely paranoid, extremely dependent, extremely independent, extremely ineffective, or extremely effective individuals.  Sometimes, this immunity to feedback from others can be very adaptive (for extremely effective and extremely independent people).  But other times it is very maladaptive, for the rest of the folk.  So, if you are very effective in your life (you have a successful career, relationships, and are able to enjoy yourself), and don't put a lot of stock in the feedback of others, you're doing fine.   But if you fall into any of the other categories, there may be a problem.

Some people have an excessive desire to please others.  These people tend to be more dependent, and often engage in anticipatory projection, "If I don't please everyone, they will hate me."  Some people are paranoid, "Everyone hates me and is out to do me in."  Again, this is projection, and a distortion in thinking called "Mind Reading."  The excesively dependent person also does a lot of mind reading, but not as extreme.  Extremely ineffective people will excessively apply a variation of the quote above, "I'm just creative.  I don't have to fit in.  Work is for 'squares.'" 

So, the most important thing is being able to be flexible.  There will be times when you accept actual feedback, and there will be times when you reject actual feedback.  And by that, I mean what people actually say.  Not what you imagine they say--not what you read in their minds from your own thinking.  There are times when you will want to accept and respond to feedback, "She's got a point.  I need to change."  And, there are times when you may think, "His opinion and 75 cents will buy me a cup of coffee."  One way you can determine whether the feedback is something you want to respond to is evaluating the personality of the person giving the feedback.  Do they fly off the handle with everyone?  Do they always give negative feedback to everyone?  Is their opinion respectable?  Do they seem to know what they are talking about?  Or, is it just something about them as an individual that caused them to give the feedback they did?

Now, I've focused mostly on accepting or rejecting negative feedback here.  I'll write a future post on accepting or rejecting positive feedback.

Short version: imagine if Reservoir Dogs, The Big Lebowski, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas had an orgy. This movie would be their mutant lovechild. scrounge up a dvd. download it off itunes. run 1.71 gigawatts of electricity through chicken entrails if you have to, just watch this movie.

Long version: I was originally considering going to a movie theater tonight. I was going to go to a restaurant and pay too much for some food i could have gotten out of the freezer section at Kroger, then go see The Dark Knight. Thankfully, the full parking lots at the various restaurants i like around here sent me back home, where I found this gem of an oddball indie movie from 1996.

Our protagonists are door-to-door salesmen peddling (what else?) bibles and guns in Orange County, California. the movie begins with a call to adventure - the company convention in Las Vegas, Nevada. it's sometime in the 80s or 90s in the movie. Many of these men are vets of Korea and Vietnam, a little too off-kilter to hold down more conventional work. One used to be a Rabbi. but they play golf, sell their wares, believe in a just and wrathful God, and generally get along well as older men trying to make the best of a stressful situation, and the situation is stressful.

Sales have been low for the past couple years, and there's talk of the California branch of their company closing. to pad their numbers a bit, they figure they'll do a little door-to-door work in Vegas, and this is there the fun begins.

By fun, I mean gunfights with their rivals from Texas who claim to have already leased the rights to operate in the Las Vegas area. By fun, i also mean do drugs and star in softcore porn. by fun, I mean realize how miserable your life has been and get crazy drunk and start waving loaded guns around.

I tell ya, the entire Orange County office of the Bible and Gun Club is a bunch of perverts and paranoids the likes of which you won't find outside... well... outside events like the one I got back from last week, and this colorful cast of entertainingly dysfunctional characters makes for some damn fine movie viewing.

So, I was reading Wired last night and they had this whole article about the Google Android phone software that Google is putting together. They went on and on how anyone can put together Android gadgets and if they're good they can get paid. Awesome, right?

Well, I have an idea for Android software that I think would be pretty sweet. Problem is, I have no idea how to put it together. do I just write president@google.com and say "Hey man, I got a great idea!" I think not.

Anyways, here's the idea. The program would be called Paranoid. Google wants people to use the GPS services in the phone so that's why I thought of Paranoid. Basically, people with Android software can mark on Google Maps if they're walking around or whatever where they see cameras, hence the name Paranoid.

Eventually all the video cameras and whatnot would be mapped out on Google Maps, along with red-light cameras, so you know if you're being watched. People can even take photos of the cameras on their phones so others, in the same location, caan spot it immediately. Also, those cameras that are broadcast over the Internet you can click on in your phone and see a live feed. You can see yourself, friends, whatever.

Although a little weird, I think this would be a pretty fun application. Anyone want to build it?

Gjorde som jag blivit tillsagd, samtidigt som jag checka bloggen o tog bort de fatal ganger jag namnt deras namn dar. + Lanken fran min resedagbok till min blogg.. Ifall han skulle fa for sig att kolla igenom hela resedagboken igen. Vilket han faktiskt gjorde nar han kom hem o vi snackat om det. Det var lugnt o sa, men han sa att han skulle saga till min LCC om att APs brukar gora det.. Trodde inte att andra familjer skulle bli sa glada om de visste om det..

Sa tank pa det tjejer (och killar)! Skriv inte ut familjens namn nanstans for om de ar paranoida och soker pa Google kommer de for eller senare hitta er.. Beroende pa vad ni skrivit kan det bli jobbigt.. Lyckligtvis hade inte jag gjort det..

"I'm watching a movie with my sister can I call you when it’s done".

I, of course, say yes.  One minute later I get:

"What are you doing?"

At this point I'm aggravated.  I feel like he's beating around this bad news bush and not being up front with me.  So I just text back "watching t.v".  Then I get this:

"With..."

The moment I read that text message an "Oh my god what the fuck?" escapes my mouth...but thankfully I avoid typing it in my following message, "with R and M the dogs"...then I get this piece of work

"Undercover, I don't know if you noticed but I really like you... :)...

I get suspicious and my stomach knots up.  I hear a but coming on but he's not being fast enough with the striking news so I respond "ok...but..." then I get this gem (and this makes me smile...damn him)

"I just wanted to tell you"

This is why I always say that I’m tainted.  Because any normal person would take that accept it and go with a normal/appropriate response.  Me being Ms. Crazy McCrazy pants over here I send the following 2 responses back to back: "I like you too...not to sound mean but is that it" less than like 10 seconds later I send this "Like there’s not a "but" attached to that..." I get this:

"We have to talk on the phone nothing too bad..."

Trying to still remain somewhat calm, trying not to sound (I know over text messages...I never said I was normal) I respond: "Lol...ok...hurry I'm getting ansy"...I get (my inner feminist kicked me a little)

"Xo"

Ten minutes later I get this:

"Just got done watching "the movie" and my sister is still sitting here...When she leaves I'll call you"

I just respond, "Ok".

Please keep in mind this is all going down 12ish/1ish in the morning.  Now normally I'm an insomniac.  But all that nervousness and scenarios that were not ending well for me just continuously runs through my head...well...that's a bit draining...so I crashed out...he didn't call that night.  I woke up around 11ish (and that’s early for me kids) and just sat in bed, watching t.v. and ate a bit.  I sent him a text message saying good morning and then he calls and lets me in on the big bad oh so horrible secret that I've been expecting and preparing myself for...

He's going to stay a little while longer with his family and help them take care of medical issues they are having.

"OH MY GOD MR. JUST FOR RIGHT NOW...I could just kick you...geez..." is what escapes my lips...

And everything’s fine.  Like that.  Its. Fine.  God I'm a nut case.  When he asked what I thought was going to happen I let him know and what my response was going to be, "ok, good luck I hope you find what you're looking for.  I'll talk to you later".  Which is what I had planned on saying if he decided to go back with his ex...if that was the news he was going to deliver...so yeah I’m basically nuts.

So I start thinking to myself.  It's really been 3 weeks (ish) and I'm getting this way.  Maybe I'm expecting too much from him too soon too early.  *sigh*

I have no idea...all I know is I need to chill...pronto...

Past behavior patterns that have become completely unconscious now become active and come into play without your knowing it. Your efforts at self-assertion are undermined by these behavior patterns that you are not even aware of. And unfortunately the people who are alienated by these actions probably will not come out and say so, but will work behind the scenes to block your efforts.

Well, holy crap! If I'm not aware of these behavior patterns, how can I possibly work around this influence? Whatever it is, am I doing it now? Do you feel alienated? Of course you won't tell me, it says so right there. I didn't even know I was trying to assert myself, that's how unaware I am.

I wondered why it was so quiet around here lately. Now I know. Before I go crawl in a hole to await the passing of this influence, I'd like to apologize in advance for doing... you know, whatever.

(I just did it, didn't I?)

Og jeg tenker på deg hver dag der jeg sitter i bilen, på vei ut for å levere. Jeg tenker at denne gangen, DENNE ganger er det du som kommer ut av døre for å ta i mot, men hver gang tar jeg feil. Jeg har begynt å vende meg til det nå. Jeg sitter å tenker, de siste femhundre meterene, at det er ikke deg. At jeg kommer til å ta feil. Men jeg vil ha en siste klem. En siste klem fortjener jeg. En siste klem der du forklarer alt. For noe er det å forklare, er det ikke?

Jeg kan ikke lenger sitte å vente på deg. Da føler jeg heller for å henge med deg. Naiv? Det er jeg som har vært faen så naiv. Jeg trodde... Jeg skjønner ikke at jeg var så forbanna dum i det hele tatt. Jeg trodde alt endelig var i ferd med å ordne seg. Jeg burde skjønt det for en måned tilbake, om ikke mer. Jeg prøver, men vettu hva? Jeg orker det ikke lenger. Jeg orker ikke å havne på det nivået jeg var før jeg flytta vekk. Jeg orker ikke å gå rundt å være dødsparanoid. Og jeg gidder ikke gå rundt å være falsk. Jeg kunne sagt det, men orka ikke la frokosten gå til helvete, men mulig du skjønte noe. Jeg vet ikke.

Og jeg syns synd på deg, men ikke på samme måte som andre gjør.

Aner du i det hele tatt at dette er til deg? Og ja, jeg er som alle andre, men jeg skulle ønske jeg ikke var det. Jeg skal skjerpe meg nå. Iallefall prøve. Det er bedre å prøve å feile, man lærer jo stadig av erfaringer. Men man lærer som regel av de dårlige erfaringene og jeg føler jeg alt har altfor mange DÅRLIGE erfaringer. Jeg har venner som er enige og jeg er evig glad i han for det. Du er og blir den BESTE! <3

Fjortis? Se til helvete å se på folk! Yay! :D Jaaa!

Du skjønner hva jeg mener du... Men hold kjeft!

  Im starting to imagine what my life will be like when I move out.  I havent decided if I should just take advantage of the fact that there are always leftovers in the fridge or if i should try and attempt to teach myself to cook. The latter seems so unappealing, ill know how when the time comes.... or just eat alot of toast.  Also, Im starting to think about what i will and will not bring with me.. kind of stressful!

todays shirt, bad picture my camera is fucked up

+ v.30
- SÖMNLÖSHET!!! #"¤#("%

Og hver gang jeg går rundt her
Minner om deg
Hver gang jeg går rundt her
Minner om deg og jeg 

Henger fast i tid og sted
Har gjort det før
Ingen tvil om det
Hva er det vi gjør
Har gjort det før
Har følt det før
Jeg har følt det før
- Postgirobygget "Hver gang jeg går rundt her"

Seriously. They recently published this piece on the word "cunt," which reads remarkably similar to a piece I wrote about two weeks ago for the Reporter for when we come back in the fall (the Deez can verify this, since I emailed it to him). It's not that big of a loss because I doubt the Reporter would've published my piece anyway, but it's sure weird timing.

A little too weird...

Here's my piece for comparison:

The word "cunt" seems to be making a comeback lately. Generally considered the nuclear option of misogyny and vulgarity, "cunt" is actually a little more reputable than you think. My cursory Wikipedia search says that use of the word "cunt" dates back to at least 1230 AD (earlier than even "fuck"), and it appears in classics of English literature like The Canterbury Tales, Hamlet, and Ulysses (where Joyce lovingly describes Dublin as "the grey sunken cunt of the world"). In England today, it's not considered nearly as obscene as we make it out to be, but more of a stronger version of "jerk" for both men and women (see Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting).

Even though it's still pretty taboo here in America, "cunt" is becoming a little more acceptable, as seen everywhere from a joke in that awful Mike Myers summer movie to John McCain's verbal abuse of his wife. Even at parties on campus, it's not really that shocking to hear someone called a "dumb cunt" or something similar. For the sake of looking hip, I'd like to point out that I've been using "cunt" in my everyday speech for a few years now, for both men and women (I prefer to be a misogynist in other areas, like personal relationships). There's just something about it that makes it a powerful word; as the late George Carlin pointed out in his "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television," there's just something about the dental, Germanic sounds of words like "cunt" and "fuck" that make them sound inherently violent and vulgar.

But that's only part of the reason I liked using "cunt." It's other appeal was that it was one of the few words left that could genuinely offend people; in the college patois where we use "fuck" for every part of speech, "cunt" still had the power to make people stop in their tracks. There is, of course, the thrill of being vulgar for vulgarity's sake, but the real and important part of deeply offensive words like "cunt" is that when people are shocked, they actually pay attention. If you want to start a discussion on Hillary Clinton's political future, then good luck finding anyone to talk to, but if you call her a "dirty cunt," just try to stop people from giving you their opinion about her. (In fact, I'll bet most of you are only reading this column because it had "cunt" in the title and you want to find out what kind of filthy chauvinism I'm dispensing.)

With "cunt" becoming more acceptable, though, it also loses its ability to shock. Like everything in our culture, it will be repeated millions and millions of times until every shred of meaning is wrung out of it. "Cunt" will go the way of those pictures of hundreds of dead Iraqis that we see everyday and feel nothing about, and by the time our generation has kids, it will be just another word to trigger the laughtrack on whatever awful sitcom we'll watch. And this is bad, but for whatever Puritanical reason you're thinking of. It's bad because we'll have nothing left to shock us into paying attention, except maybe "the n-word" and hardcore bestiality porn. This is the endgame of our media saturated generation: everything repeated and used until nothing stirs any feeling in us or means anything.

And there's nothing you can do about it, you stupid cunts.

Really, it was a Three Stooges scene & a Lucille Ball moment all rolled into one, crystallizing the realization that there are times when I'm truly unstable, not just funny unstable.

So I went back and searched and found the e-mail I sent out after my daughter's first day of 3rd grade.  I have no idea where our birth certificates are, but I can find a random e-mail written two years ago.  My organizational abilities make it clear that primates hold some spot in my ancestral tree.  

The terror I felt that day was so out of proportion to reality that it amazes me I am able to leave the house so regularly & find my way back.

Here's the e-mail:

Today was the first day of the new school.  I would score my daughter a ten and myself a one, if this were a competition.  Considering the looks on some of the other mother's faces, it might very well be.

Joy was going to ride the bus, but my plan was to go to the school anyway and see her settled.  Was I doing this for her or for me? You decide. She was in a panic, telling me to hurry or she'd miss the bus.  We had already been up & preparing for two hours.  I was thinking, "Plenty of time."

As it turned out, the bus came 7 minutes early.  It might as well have been 70 or 700.  Do they really expect us to stand on the side of the road for 15 minutes prior, just in case? 

I've never put a child on a bus before. I never rode one as a child. Her old school was not a busing district. It is/was a very big deal - to me. We might as well be living on Pluto out here in the vast wilderness of suburban NJ, waiting for the martian van to arrive.

How did any parent ever go along with this wacky idea of sending our children off with complete strangers? I'd be hard pressed to feel comfortable putting her in a car with a Supreme Court Justice or, God forbid, an extended family member; how do you trust a man with such an obvious lackluster drive to succeed, such poor career choices?

I really don't trust anyone with my children. I compare them to "a million dollars." If I wouldn't entrust a stranger to hold my million, why would I trust them with my child, who's obviously worth more? Our prior school superintendent, feeling utter frustration with my paranoia, once asked me if I'd have a problem with a police officer wanting to play catch with my kid after school. I said, "I'd want to know why he was so interested in my son." Had he never heard of freaking N..A..M..B..L..A..?

Back to the story at hand . . .

The bus stop road is crazy busy, so I was trying to accommodate everyone else instead of paying attention to what I was supposed to be doing.  Traffic was backing up and we were running.  Minimally 14 cars were now stopped and waiting.  Some moms wave bye-bye from across the street; I barreled my way to the door of the bus.  My baby was loaded down with about 30 pounds of backpack.  Mind you, this is a child who barely lifts her own sandwich to her lips.

All I did was find out the driver's name was Bob.  I did not read the side of the bus, I did not check the bus route number.  It never occurred to me.  I was busy doing the co-dependent shuffle, the smile & giggle.  I guess I thought we were at a cotillion and they were going to dance, proper manners, etc.  "Bob, this is Joy, Joy - Bob.  Oh, that's her brother's name!"  Duh.  Like that would help find her in an Amber Alert: "His name was Bob.  The bus was yellow."

I jumped in my car to follow the bus.  I know this is weird, but I wanted to know her route of travel, where she was at all times, what roads she would traverse.  You just never know. 

I ended up in a trailer park following the bus I thought was mine, when suddenly I realized it had a female driver.  The woman was clearly not Bob.  Now I can't find my Joy and there is a full half-hour before school starts, nearly enough to cross a state line.  Bob had Joy and I had no idea where they might be.  It never even occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to follow the bus, I had no back-up plan.

Bob had given me the slip.

When the realization hit that I should have checked the bus name or route number but didn't, my heart nearly exploded.  The guilt from my irresponsibility was overwhelming.  Even worse, there had only been one child sitting behind Bob when he picked up my daughter.  A prop, perhaps?

I became convinced that either 1.) I put her on the wrong bus, which could end up anywhere since there are 14+ schools in our town or 2.) I put her on a bus with a freak who knew it was the first day of school, who was driving around pretending to be a bus driver, a perverted freak.

Bob the Bus Driver or Bob The Kidnapper?  If you think I am joking, think again.

Immediately I was on the cell phone with the police (my husband).  He told me this had never happened, no molestors dressed as bus drivers, no reports of a stolen bus.  I was past the edge of hysteria, driving fast & reckless, trying to find the bus she was on.  All I could see were yellow buses everywhere, going in every direction, all sizes.  It was like a bad carnival ride.

With no other choice available, I drove to the school & parked.  In less than 10 minutes Bob pulled in.  I began to love Bob at that moment.  I could breathe again.  I began planning Bob's Christmas gift.  I don't know if she'll ever get on the bus again, but for today he's good.

The kids had to line up in the gym and find out who their teachers were -- kind of cool.  Not cool was that she could tell I was losing it -- big screw up.  So I left. I'd love to know how many women went home & told their husbands about the crazy looking chick with big wet bug eyes in the gymnasium.

It's so completely weird being in a place where you know absolutely no one. I found it relatively terrifying.  They all had on big jewelry and heavy make-up.  Lots of women looking city, in the country, at New Elementary School.

I'm hoping that's a good thing.  I'm thinking that women who can deal with the pain of high heels all day will have high expectations for their children's education.

The girl was fine throughout.  I may never be the same.

Thank you for sharing my trauma with me.

The End

Download Torrent

Well... maybe today my hubby would dispute that.  I worked out a lot this week and kept to the macrobiotic sort of thing.  Last night I was on my feet all night doing this and that at work.  I came home, got three hours of sleep and woke up feeling hungrier than I ever remember feeling.  I am the maker of the food in our household (not for sexist reason, simply happen to be the more talented in that arena) but I was too sleepy to figure out what to do so I sort of wandered around the house like a hungry beast/monster/something until we ended up ordering in.  I went back to my cave and fell asleep. 

I found a tool to help me sleep during the day: watching things with the commentary on.  It has to be an episode of something or movie I have seen before so I don't really pay much attention to the screen.  It has been working like a charm!

I am watching 'Murphy Brown' here in the lobby as I wait for a late, late check in.  I think I am still very hungry but I must stick to my eating regime.  A visit home restored my very real fear of death.  I am paranoid, you know.  It is important for any person who must deal with me to know I am paranoid.

Speaking of my neuroses.... I was thinking about my husband and I in terms of the 'couple friends' scheme of things.  I realized that we are both, uhm.... quirky- each in our own way, I guess.  Dealing with us one on one is probably not that strange but the two of us at once is probably odd.  I noticed this the other day when we were talking to a couple of friends out on the street.  Our apartment is also sort of proof of this- a concentration of the things that are off about us: my random stockpiling of obsession-of-the-moment items (I am a bit of a collector, off and on) coupled with my husband's real inability to deal with furniture. 

I have made a bold decision.  I am going to decorate.  Re-decorate doesn't really apply here because we didn't put so much decoration effort in when we moved in.  We simply placed our stuff where it happened to fit and tried to work with that.  I think I am ready to take it to the next level.  I am starting to believe in color.  Also: my son has started to become really obsessed with furniture.  He recites the possibilities to himself any spare moment he has "oh mama, a rocking chair! A white bookcase! A classic sofa!".  He ran into my parents' apartment and exclaimed with joy as he found each piece ("Oh mama, they have a blue armchair!"). 

A three year old obsessed with furniture.  He is also reading magazines about archetecture and design.  I think "Metropolis" is his current favorite.  All this in an apartment that is so poorly appointed...

But I have big ideas.  I used to daydream about a different place but have soon fallen in love with the revolutionary idea of adapting to the cheap and functional space rather than dreaming of a new one.  I kind of like the idea that we really could live anywhere rather than the idea that we are going to search for the perfect home.  I mean, we dig the neighborhood and can walk almost anywhere we need to go.  We aren't having any more children... why not adapt? 

Blah- I have to go do stuff.  I need to turn off "Murphy Brown" and turn on some music and pretty this place up for the morning time when I will be greeted my upper middle class soccer moms and dads alike who will not like their coffee and point out anything that does not meet their approval.

Back to it!

Can you imagine sleeping in this thing:

Maybe the better question is: can you imagine being paranoid enough to consider buying this thing?

I just think it's funny/sad that someone even sees a market for this sort of thing. Maybe it's meant to be sold to South American dictators or African 'presidents'?

Such a psychological state is perhaps the one most extensively abuse by politician throughout the world, especially in Communist China. Due to recent history of being invaded and raped throughly by Western imperial powers, the politician in Chinese Communist Party love to infer the cause of any domestic disturbance with a foreign cause, it is not just helping them to safely remove the blame from themselves, it also magically increase the level of solidiarty among the comrade. The logic is: They never bore any good will toward Chinese. They have threaten us before, and they are threaten us now, and they will threaten us in the future. Therefore any dissidence in the country must be incited/influenced/remotely-controlled/rewarded by hostile foriegn powers. Chinese must not be raped by other races(so they are available for Chinese to rape!)

This is accurate to a certain extent which Western powers doesn't like the lack of democracy and freedom of Chinese. This is also historically accurate given the context of Cold War. However, the past has gone, and democracy also means that the Western power are often divided in their altitudes and opinions toward Chinese. By adopting this altitude, Chinese Communist Party is ensure that it would always received with hostility but not hospitality. Is that Chinese Communist Party can only rule Chinese by fear/hatred and hostility of other nations?

A very cute cartoon series about pandas and the recent Sichuan earthquake.

You all will be glad to know that the 61-year old British grandmother who started running around the world in 2003 has returned back to the UK in spite of being approached by a drunken guy with a bloody ax in Siberia, encountering a polar bear, and receiving 29 marriage proposals.

Really cool animation of a John Lennon press conference.

Continuing with Hilarious McCain blow ups -- a funny viral video about John McCain dropping the C bomb on his wife.

I should have been a lot nicer to Steve Guttenberg.

East-side Angeleno culture in the Far East. [via LA Curbed]

The top ten political sex scandals in US history.

A helpful guide to the shadowy groups that run the world.

Now, THIS is a resignation letter.

Geek gets a 15 inch tall robot girlfriend.

"Paranoid Linux es un sistema operativo que asume que su operador esta siendo buscado por el gobierno (fue creado para uso de disidentes chinos y sirios), y hace todo lo posible por mantener tus comunicaciones y documentos en secreto. Incluso manda un monton de señales "chaff" para disfrazar el hecho de que estas haciendo algo encubierto. Asi que mientras recibes mensajes a ritmo de un caracter cada vez Paranoid Linux disimula navegando por internet, rellenando formularios y flirteando en salones de chat. Mientras tanto uno de cada quinientos caracteres que recibes es de tu mensaje. Una aguja escondida en un gigantesco pajar."
~Cory Doctorow ( Little Brother, 2008 )

En un principio esto era ficcion, pero a veces la realidad supera a la ficcion y a alguien se le ha odurrido realizar semejante proyecto. Aqui el enlace a la web de este nuevo proyecto.