Com faro pra identificar o que o público gosta de ver e idade para se lembrar do modelo original, Silvio Santos, 77 anos, moldou nos mínimos detalhes seu novo sucesso. MAISA SILVA, 6 aninhos, apresentadora de dois porgramas infantis no SBT, é cara, vestido e cachinhos de Shirley Temple, a estrela mirim de Hollywood nos anos 30. O próprio Silvio Santos selecionou as fotos de Shirley, que, penduradas no camarim, inspiram os figurinistas e os cabeleireiros reponsáveis por produzir a sóisia. Maisa, paulista de São Bernardo do Campo, corresponde. Espontânea e espertíssima, dança, atende telefonemas e comanda jogos. Também enfrenta longas sessões de baby liss para cachear os cabelos e veste roupas da "personagem" (palavra sua) sem reclamar.
A partir de domingo, terá uma quadro no Programa Silvio Santos: por quinze minutos, vai responder às perguntas dos fãs. (Fonte: Revista Veja)

Somebody thinks I'm cool!  :)  The Evil Twin's Wife has tagged me with the Arte Y Pico award and the meme that goes with it (thereby forcing me to make an awards page)!  Yay!  I don't have to think of a post (I'll save the winne-crapo for another day...don't worry you'll see what I'm talking about soon enough).  And I quote:

The rules state:

1. You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award through creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to the blogger community, no matter of language.
2. Each award should have the name of the author with a link to their blog.
3. Award winners have to post the award with the name and link to the blog of the person who gave them the award.
4. Please include a link to the “Arte Y Pico” blog (I warn you its all in spainish...it could say "you are covered in stinky boils" over and over again for all I know) so that everyone will know where the award came from.

And Here's How It Works:

1. Link the person(s) who tagged you:  Done!
2. Mention the rules on your blog: Also done.  I'm on a roll!
3. Tell about 5 unspectacular quirks of yours: UNSPECTACULAR, I believe is the key word.
4. Tag 5 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Whew!  That was long.  I'm glad I copied and pasted!  This actually required a slight amount of research to define quirk (ok I just looked it up on dictionary.com...I didn't want to accidentally give out the wrong information...unless it's a quirk, you don't need to know how my leopard pajamas got me into trouble).  It comes down to this:

quirk [kwurk]

I am among a few earlier ones to read the book simply because I was there at the launch yesterday! (a different story for a different entry ;) ).

I bought Sis Zabrina's first book, Life is an Open Secret - Think About It a year ago.  The book changed my life in more ways than one. I eagerly wait for the second book.

Just imagine my excitement holding my very own, second book yesterday. As soon as I reach home after the book launch, I dove right in. Losing myself in her magical story-telling. Tugging my heart, gently persuading my mind, and replenishing my soul her stories did. Pages quickly turned, the husband from time to time coming to the bedroom to check on me exclaimed 'How fast you read, it's nearly half the book already!', only to be met by 'shuushh' from me.  

Different from her first book, her second book delved more into the everyday human connections. From story about loving your own family, how to deal with envy, smiling - she tells is so intriguingly, so passionately, so unpredictably - it is like being on a ride really, reading her stories.

Foreworded by Yvonne Ridley, she mentioned that Sis Zabrina's style of writing is 'an acquired taste'. Referring to it as 'groovy introduction to Islam!' and carries a mixture between Marry Poppins, Shirley Temple and Aesops Fables.

As for me personally, I found it some sort like Like Tim Burton's movies, Marmite, sushi, dark chocolate or drinking Dr. Pepper's experience  - it' something a bit our of ordinary, but once you got the hang of it, it left you wanting more!. With this second book, she has proven that she has carved her own niche, her own style. Thus, she creates for herself her own league, her own market. Her very own Blue Ocean (those who is not into business reading, I am taking about Blue Ocean strategy).

I woke up today and immediately continued reading from where I left of from last night. I cried reading the last story, and eagerly turned the pages for more stories. I didn't even realise that I am reading the last one! I couldn't believe it's the end of the book.

Like a great movie, a great show, or a great experience - you just want it to go on and on and on forever. That's exactly how I feel.

However, I am soothed, because I know I can always read the second book again, and again, and again. And put it on my bedside table, with the Life is An Open Secret, the first book.

Yep, my dad told me that Hong Kong was up to 99% humidity. I asked him, "What does that even mean?" He didn't reply, or at least I don't remember what the reply was. "What's 100% humidity then?" I asked him. Still no keen response. I concluded for my own sake that 99% humidity meant that we were basically walking around in a steam room, and 100% humidity would mean that that steam room was a bit steamier. It is not too bad though, and while this mugginess does impede my general satisfaction of breathing a bit, I can tolerate heat a lot better than I can the cold, most definitely.

The Club Life

For all three meals, we went to some kind of club (this is what I meant by clubhoppping; I am far from a party animal). We started breakfast at the Recreational Club, had lunch at the Jockey Club (which is also hosting the equestrian events of the Summer Olympics!), and finished with dinner at the Cricket Club. Society is very stratified in this way; the club life is so different than the Hong Kong street life - the more "squalid" sides of society, as my dad puts it. Within these clubs, there's an entirely different conglomerate of people, propriety, and lifestyles. I wouldn't say one kind of life is entirely better than another; they just both have their own charms. The food at these clubs was very good though.

Family Meals

At these big Asian family gatherings, being surrounded by older relatives means being bombarded by a constant urging on all sides to eat more, to finish up this plate, to try some of that plate. My grandpa especially, sitting on my right side, basically synched his urging with the arrival of food; with every plate, my grandpa would say to me again, "eat some of that! Why aren't you eating that?!" even when it had a lot of meat in it (he doesn't understand what it means to be vegetarian); he would say "Come on, that's barely any meat!" Relatives are the flagrant cause of my fattening up.

Grocery-Shopping

Anyone who knows me knows that one of my utmost hobbies is grocery-shopping. I know this sounds relatively Stepford Wives-esque but for some reason I have the tendency of fawning over and delighting in new, wondrous food products. It's a very gratifying undertaking - surveying the colorful racks of cereals, jams, cheeses - and even while not buying most all of it, it's so satisfying seeing how many different types of things there are in the world and how much potential lies in cooking and eating. I may be ahead on this "housewife" thing, but I don't mind - which leads to my point, which is that I went to an amazing grocery store called CitySuper that stocks international foods from all over the world. Grocery shopping and international delicacies definitely make for a great combination, and just as an understatement, I was in absolute awe. If I lived around here, I would definitely frequent CitySuper. This week at CitySuper is German Food Week. There are all kinds of "wursts."

Curly-Qs

My little cousin Steffi, whom I am seeing for the first time (she is a little over 1.5 years; last time I visited was 2 years ago), has the curliest hair I have ever seen on a little Asian girl. It's just about the cutest thing I have laid eyes on, like a little Shirley Temple China doll. I love it and spend my time staring at it with utter marvel and fixation. I am often tempted to twirl her hair with my fingers. She also likes to eat very much.

Favoritism

My other cousin Sheryl (Steffi's older sister) likes my dad a lot more than me. My dad is her favorite. She holds his hand and wants him to sit next to her in the car. Maybe it is because he plays a jazzified version of that Barney theme song for her, as well as several renditions of different Disney Princess songs... I cannot do that; therefore I am shunned.

On a side note, I hope you all take Epicurean pleasures in the multitudes of food photos I post.

This is breakfast at CRC (Chinese Recreational Club). A typical Cantonese breakfast consists of porridge (usually with duck or fish or some poultry of that sort) and a side dish.

I don't even know what this is called in English, but it sure is yummy.

My grandma and her carrot juice.

This was the yummiest thing on the table (my grandma ordered it for herself while I got stuck with the Chinese breakfast, though I would have much rather had this) - the thickest whole wheat toast I have ever seen toasted to perfection, slathered with a layer of peanut butter.

My grandma took us to the fruit market and my dad told me to take a picture of the sign. I said, "okay."

A very colorful scene. I like those types.

We ended buying some lychee, dragon eye fruit, and star fruit - all fruits native to Asia (and so good when in season, which is right now!).

This is CitySuper, which is in Times Square - a shopping complex. This is me sneaking a picture of the wonderful place.

After spending an hour at CitySuper and some random stationary store, my dad and I walked over the Jockey Club where my uncle works to eat lunch with the rest of the family.

This is the view from where we sat in the restaurant - one of the best and clearest views of Hong Kong I have seen (Hong Kong is exceptionally clear right now (normally it is layered under a cloud of smog) because of the rain spells). Below the cityscape are the football / cricket / rugby fields of the jockey club, surrounded by the racehorse track.

Introducing my cute little cousin Steffi!

She loves to eat and she can eat by herself already!

Steffi with my uncle's family's maid/helper, Tata.

Oh yum. I love her bright orange tableware.

Sheryl hogging it up for the camera (she's good at it; been good ever since she was a wee one).

My uncle (her dad) bought her some new toy horses to play with ... this is a unicorn (she also lost these horses as soon as we finished eating).

Dim sum - so good. Pineapple buns with BBQ pork inside.

At front, some deep fried tofu wrap with a meat/veg filling, and at back, turnip cakes fried in XO sauce (really good stuff).

BBQ pork - Mom, this one's for you - Dad said you would like it.

Fish, shrimp, and veggie dumplings topped with fish eggs.

Some kind of fish paste /veggie dumpling.

Cantonese style fried rice with chicken, shrimp, mushrooms, veggies, and carrots.

So much food! A feast, in fact.

Steffi.

Do you see her curly-q's? Don't you just want to pull one?!

Sheryl and her pink flower balloon. I realize that this picture is very pink.

Sheryl noticed that the length of my dad's hair was appropriate as grass for her horse; thus began her act of using my dad's head as a grazing pasture for an animal.

The infamous horse.

Sheryl hiding behind my dad.

Mother and daughter.

This was one of the desserts - some kind of green bean jelly with water chestnuts.

Egg tarts.

This was my favorite dessert dish - almost like a fluffy, light Asian version of a beignet. Deep fried dough made from egg whites, dusted with sugar.

See the favoritism? Sheryl even wants my dad to hold her hand.

And sit with her in the backseat ... here they are watching Mr. Bean, which I think I enjoyed when I was about six year old, but which now makes me stare in disapproval and wretch a little in my mouth even...

You are so cute!

We then went to my uncle's flat.

Another great view. You can see most of Hong Kong.

A fantastic collection of books, on subjects running the gamut from history to photography to historical photography to biographies and politics to the gangs of New York (my uncle has a thing for the Mafia and Mario Puzo) to cooking and wine ...

Not even half of his DVD collection. Can you see at the top he has every single season of the Sopranos and every single season of West Wing? Very reflective of his interests. He also has just about every Godfather, Italian-mafia-related, Al Pacino, Mario Puzo movie / documentary ever made.

Sheryl gave us a mini piano recital.

Steffi wanted to play too.

And then Sheryl asked my dad to play the Barney theme song and some Disney princess songs ... which my dad did, very graciously.

After bumming around at my uncle's for a few hours (which basically comprised my flipping through as many books as I could and surveying very intently his entire DVD collection, wistfully thinking about the movies I want to but have yet to watch), we went to the Hong Kong Cricket Club for dinner. I was elated to discover these juices on the menu - this is the Vitamin Rush, which combines beet, carrot, and celery juices. It's very photogenic as well.

Sheryl's pizza.

When this happens to me in public, sometimes I do not know what to do. Should I break the cheese with my fingers, eat the cheese slowly by sucking it in centimeter by centimeter, or stop eating the pizza altogether? The burdens of stringy mozzarella on pizzas...

This is extremely attractive.

I like half-masticated food as well.

My dad's Indian lentil curry dish. Again, photogenic food.

Grilled salmon fillet with spaghetti noodles and some assorted veggies.

Grilled Barramundi fish (so flaky, soft, and delicious). I also how the dish is accented with a piece of fried tofu that serves as the earth for a stalk of celery.

A close-up of the delicious fish.

At night, I met up with Rachel and her mother to go shopping!

After a quick family portrait, Auntie Catherine left us and Rachel and I went roaming around (Rachel and I attempted to take a few self-portraits but failed miserably).

Many stores were closed but we had fun anyway! Rachel knew her way around well, so we went to some pretty nifty stores; I, on the other hand, completely incompetent at navigating, followed her around blindly. Bought a couple of things. Then returned to my hotel. Good seeing friends in foreign countries!

On another side note, I am re-listening to Balmorhea's River Arms album, and it just strikes (I guess for a second time, but this time in much deeper resonance) me how vivid and interesting the interplay of sounds are ... I would like to use this album as the soundtrack to a film.

I was born on April 26, 1960 at Intercommunity Hospital in Fairfield, California. At nine days old I went home from the hospital with my new family and Laura Jane Brewer became a spoiled but sweet only child who had a pony. Apparently, my birth mom, Grace, would call and check on me until my parents asked her not to. It scared them too much because the birth mom can ask for the baby back up until it's six months old. Also there was an incident when my parents were out at a pizza restaurant. Their name was called out, "Brewer!", to come pick up their pizza, a woman with long red hair came up and asked them their name then hurried away. They think it must have been my mom. They all lived on Travis AFB, CA at the time.

I've never met my birth mom, but I'd like to meet her. I tried to search for her on the internet, but it's a common name, and who knows if she stayed with her husband? She could have remarried and have a totally different name. Somewhere out there I have two or three or more half brothers and sisters. I'd love to meet them, to know them, to see if they look like me. Then there is my fathers side of the family, that's another total mystery.

Being adopted is sometimes difficult. I don't know my heritage. I don't know my nationality. When the doctor asks I don't know if I have a family history of any diseases, like heart disease or breast cancer. Maybe my family is rich!? Maybe I am decended from royalty!? Maybe they are poor and I could help them. I just don't know?

But on the flip side, I have wonderful parents. I could not have been more loved. Although I think Grace loved me and was really torn up by the decision she had to make, I think she made the right one. She gave two people who desperately wanted a baby to love her child and made them a family. Thank you Grace.

No, it's not what you think. It's not her last name. And, no, it's not because the Musselmen were clamoring for someone less, you know, female. Not entirely. Mostly it was because of that song "Animal Crackers in My Soup." Who puts animal crackers in soup? On ice cream, just maybe. But soup? I don't. You don't. And those whirling Dervishes sure don't. They went ballistic at the very thought and I don't blame them. Hey, how about some Turkish Delight, pal?

I have so many memories eating at Lou's, mainly because we would always go with my family and my grandparents. The adults would order their beers and my sister, brother and I would have to agree on a choice of soda, because we would get to order AN ENTIRE PITCHER OF IT. Occasionally we would get to order a Shirley Temple; my brother drank so many of these (non-alcoholic) cocktails that he threw-up in the parking lot. Since he is not yet 21 we always ask if he wants a Shirley Temple when we are ordering our beers; I don't think he finds it as funny as I do.

Usually every time Alex and I go back home, we request to eat there with one of our families. The nachos are covered in gooey cheese, the portions are large, the salsa is hot and the beer is cold. Lou's is now called something different, and it is more of a restaurant than a bar, it is well lit and the smoke is all gone. Going there isn't the same, something about a cramming a bunch of people into a dark, cigarette smoke-filled room made the food taste so much better; don't get me wrong the food is still delicious the environment is what changed.

I've been ordering the same thing for as long as I can remember; a combination burrito with gravy, adding lettuce, tomatoes, onions and smothering it in sour cream and their hot salsa. YUM! This is a meal that I have always wanted to cook at home. The ground beef in the burrito is so fine, and I was told that is because they boil their meat. Usually when I make tacos I brown my beef, which results in large chunks of browned meat. I searched high and low for authentic Mexican recipes and I came across a great website. The beef recipe is so good and to me it seems authentic. At least it is very similar to the meat they serve at Lou's.

MEXICAN GROUND BEEF
(from mex-recipes.com)

2 lbs ground beef
1 tsp salt
2 T chili powder
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 tsp cumin
2 T paprika
water to cover meat

1/2 medium white onion, chopped
1/2 medium bell pepper, chopped

But all ingredients (besides onion and pepper) into a 2 qt sauce pan. Use enough water to cover meat. Bring to a boil. Simmer over medium low heat about an hour. In about 15 minutes take a potato masher break up the meat; don't want it to cook up in lumps. Repeat this process 2 or 3 more times. Also make sure we don't run dry of water. Add water if needed.

Add chopped onion and chopped bell pepper, continue cooking 20 or 30 more minutes.

To finish:

Remove from stove pour into strainer. Let set for 10 or 15 minutes to make sure all grease was removed. At this point we do want to keep the liquid.  Place liquid in freezer for a few minutes. When grease separates and starts to hardened take spoon and remove. Should have very little liquid left.

1/2 cup would be fine. Place in small pan bring to a boil. Dissolve 1 teaspoon of corn starch in 1/4 cup of cold water add to liquid simmer 4 or 5 minutes. Fold into meat. Now we have a tasty moist taco, grease free.

What Is It? A film by Crispin Hellion Glover.

Scenes with naked women in elephant masks, Shirley Temple, Glover being lowered deus-ex-machina style into a Maxfield Parrish scene...It's like Fellini on psychedelics - wildly creative but completely twisted.

Above, the too-cute poster featuring the adorable little nazi Shirley Temple masturbating with the end of a riding crop. That's good enough for me!

• Dopo Giovanni, il nome più usato dai Papi è Benedetto.
• Gli abitanti di New York chiamano il New York Times col soprannome La vecchia signora in grigio.
• Le prime monete romane pesavano più di un chilo e mezzo.

Le mur murant Paris rend Paris murmurant (V. Hugo - Notre-Dame de Paris)

A question I have to ask myself today is: does a grown woman look totally insane in puffed sleeves? It’s hard to believe because I mean LOOK HOW CUTE IN KINDERGARTEN but it may be so, alas. I bought a little puffed sleeved number for summer wear last month and donned it just now and, well, I think I look like Jimmy Carter’s wife in it. I look like Rosalyn Carter and how grouchy everybody did get about the way she was just doing her own hair every single day in the White House with no help from the hair-maintenance pros! Remember that? Or, wait, maybe Rosalynn had too much on the ball for puffed sleeves, maybe it's Jimmy Carter’s MOTHER I look like yeah maybe it’s old Miz Lillian, but wait that’s not it either. Maybe... I know! I look like Shirley Temple, when she got to be just a teensy bit Too Old For Cute and the nation turned its back on her and she was forced to become a Republican and seek exile in foreign embassies.What if I’m like the no-longer-cute-as-a-button Shirley Temple Black? Me, the once-cute-as-a-button Terry Sheehy?

You worry about these things a little but if you’re smart you don’t worry much. I was riding down in the elevator from Floor Twelve at last week’s fancy resort hotel. I was headed for the pool so I was barefoot. I had just dropped my bottle of spring water and was trying to pick up with my toes when the elevator stopped on a dime and the doors sucked open on Four and here was this woman. “Is this going DOWN?” she asked, as if elevators sometimes go sideways.

“Well the two of US are sure going down!" I smiled, pointing to my water bottle. “Hey you look terrific!” I said to her as she got in and she did too: shiny red nails on both feet and hands, a shiny matching lipstick of a quality that could make anyone’s mouth look like Renee Zellwegger’s mouth, a little flaring jacket over trim linen slacks… “No. I look awful,” she sighed. “Are you out of your mind?” I countered. "You look like six times better than the rest of these jokers.” But “No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m dressed all wrong for this place.” And then boom there we were in the lobby and now even five days later I’m still trying to figure out what she meant.

We were in the sultry south after all and I did see lots of flouncy dresses going by on ladies wearing big floppy hats but weren’t they all going on some kind of garden tour? Those were just costumes; that’s what I figured but then what did I know? I was in a pair of shorts one of our kids left behind 15 years ago and a tank-top that’s been in my wardrobe so long the cloth is starting to wear through at the sticky-outy parts and hey I thought I looked jim-dandy.

It must just be what you’re comfortable in. Maybe this lady felt like a much-pruned piece of topiary in a landscape of swooning magnolias. Maybe she just felt wrong, like I seem to feel in this silly puffed-sleeve blouse.

I’d offer you a photo of it but I’d have to use the old hold-the-camera-and-take-a picture-of yourself-in-the-mirror trick since I wouldn’t feel like dragging out the tripod and all. It would be a good picture though and maybe tonight if I get a second wind after I do the ironing tonight

I’ll try it. In the meantime in the spirit of saluting the beauty of youth let me close here by trying to post a few images: Shirley Temple, young,Rosalyn Smith Carter, young, and that star of stars the Baby Jesus.

]]> http://bignewsreport.wordpress.com/?p=424 Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:49:13 +0000 jtorrey13 http://bignewsreport.wordpress.com/?p=424
We all crumble. Sometimes it's crackers to go into soup to make it a meal. Sometimes it's a fence that crumbles as we tear down the false borders that we create as society. Sometimes it's peanut butter cookies that crumble and happen to land in another kid's lunch box. No matter what, we as a nation love our crumbs. We here at Big News want to cater to your love of crumbs with the beautiful little joke pieces left over from all of our submissions for the week, in a little segment we call BONUS JOKES!!! To see the rest of the delicious cookie, stop by iO West Sunday night at 10.

The government is scrapping their plans to create a $20 million dollar prototype of a "virtual fence" on the Arizona-Mexico border. Instead, the government plans to use the money more effectively by flushing it directly down the toilet.

An eighth-grade student in Kentucky was charged with wanton endangerment after allegedly putting crumbled peanut butter cookies in the lunchbox of a student with a severe allergy to peanuts. Apparently this is not the first time the alleged bully put his nuts in another kid's face.

The United States leads the world in prisoners with almost a quarter of the total world inmate population. In response, the world plans to build a fence around the U.S.

A Syrian nuclear reactor destroyed by Israeli jets last year is now believed to have been built in collaboration with North Korea. Syria says that for its next nuclear installment, it plans to collaborate with Timbaland.

Former deputy prime minister of Britain, John Prescott, known for years for his “tough guy” image, recently disclosed his decades long struggle with bulimia. Reached for comment, Prescott, 69, said that it's been, quote, “like sooooo hard. OMG you guys, totally don't do it. LOL.”

Former deputy prime minister of Britain, John Prescott, known for years for his “tough guy” image, recently disclosed his decades long struggle with bulimia. Apparently, his condition went misdiagnosed for years as a "typical reaction to British cuisine."

President Bush said tax rebates will start going out Monday, to help Americans cope with rising gasoline prices. Bush approved the early release of refund checks when he found there was no legal way to mail the rebates directly to oil companies.

Democrats in congress say they may add extended unemployment benefits to President Bush's war funding bill. The president said he would veto the benefits, until he realized he'd soon be out of a job.

John McCain and Mike Huckabee campaigned together for the first time Friday, fueling speculation that Huckabee is on McCain's list of potential running mates. Huckabee could add strong support by religious and social conservatives to McCain's established base of Matlock viewers.

As part of the continued profitability problems in the airline industry, United Airlines lost five hundred and forty-two million dollars over the first quarter of 2008. The five hundred and forty-two million was supposed to go to Chicago, but never arrived.

Triarc, the franchisor of the Arby’s restaurant chain, will buy Wendy's restaurants in a stock swap valued at about $2.3 billion. Wendy's initially rejected the offer, but happily settled once Arby's threw in 780 cubic tons of horsey sauce.

Triarc, the franchisor of the Arby’s restaurant chain, will buy Wendy's restaurants in a stock swap valued at about 2.3 billion Jr. Bacon Cheesburgers.

On Friday, the annual Best Friends Animal Society's Spring Super Adoption Festival had more than 1,000 homeless dogs, cats, puppies, kittens, rabbits and birds, in all sizes, breeds and personalities, available for adoption. In a related story, China Town Express has released a new expanded menu.

A Georgia company has been accused of selling faulty stun grenades to the FBI. When used in the field, the grenades only mildly surprised their targets.

A Georgia company has been accused of selling faulty stun grenades to the FBI. The company was asked for comment, but is too surprised by the accusations to say anything.

A Roman Catholic priest who floated off under hundreds of helium party balloons went missing last week off the southern coast of Brazil. Police have begun looking for the priest by positioning search parties outside of local car dealerships.

State and Federal Wildlife researchers have concluded a study that suggests if temperatures remain unusually high, moose could disappear from northwestern Minnesota over the next 50 years. Minnesota has responded with a plan to replace the moose with herds of the state's fat people.

Authorities in Detroit made a grisly discovery last week when they found that an elderly woman had been living with the mummified corpse of her sister for over a year. Her neighbors weren't surprised as they had all heard her talking about her mummy, but they just thought she was British.

According to a new survey, the Midwest has the highest rate of drunk driving in the countr. Luckily, the effects of alcohol are offset by all the crystal meth.

On Thursday, the city of Las Vegas inaugurated a new urban area to improve the historic downtown center of the city. The bulk of the historic improvements will come from the history of other cities.

On Thursday, the city of Las Vegas inaugurated a new urban area to improve the historic downtown center of the city. The bulk of the historic improvements will come from installing new slots in all of the hookers.

A new study shows that men who masturbated more than five times each week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer. However, they were twice as likely to develop blindness and hairy palms.

A new study shows that men who masturbated more than five times each week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer. As a form of preventative medicine, doctors are now prescribing medicinal porn.

A new study shows that men who masturbated more than five times each week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer. A second new study shows one-third more men are now dying of carpal tunnel syndrome.

U.S. officials have found a contaminant linked to eighty-one deaths in a blood-thinning drug made from pig intestines imported from China. In response, officials are warning all consumers to stay away from undercooked drugs.

A new study by the Migration Policy Institute found that California’s immigrant population lacks the English language skills and education to replace baby boomers in rapidly growing positions such as computer software engineers and customer service representatives. Fortunately for California, those limitations won't impact the growing reality TV industry.

On Tuesday, Michael Moore announced that he is endorsing Barack Obama. In addition, Moore is also endorsing the Carl's Jr. Six Dollar Burger.

Orlando Brown of “That's So Raven,” was found on Wednesday, twenty-four hours after his manager reported him missing. Authorities found Brown by using the standard method of tracking missing stars: watching VH1’s “Where Are They Now.”

CNN reporter Richard Quest was ordered to undergo six months of counselling after being arrested for possession of drugs last week. Police became suspicious of the CNN reporter after he began actually reporting news.

According to media reports, NBC has decided to make Jimmy Fallon host of "Late Night" once Conan O'Brien leaves the show in 2009. Executives at CBS, ABC, and FOX applauded the decision, tried to keep a straight face, and then broke into laughter.

Last year's "American Idol" winner Jordin Sparks was forced to cancel three shows last weekend after being struck with a career-threatening throat injury. Sparks becomes the first "Idol" winner whose career is threatened by something other than winning "American Idol".

Paul McCartney is celebrating his deep love with his late wife Linda by staging a gallery showing of her photography. Experts, however, are questioning the authenticity of the exhibition, as all the items are pictures of Heather Mills with "Bitch!" spray painted across her face.

Shirley Temple Black, the former child star of the 30s who celebrated her 80th birthday last week, broke her arm in a fall outside of her San Francisco home. Temple reportedly fell after being startled with the news that she's still alive.

Anthony E. Zuiker, the creator and executive producer of the "CSI" franchise, is planning to write his memoirs for release in 2009. To make the memoirs more accessible to the CSI audience, Zuiker plans to write at a 4th-grade reading level.

A European publishing house is compiling a book of the 50,000 most-searched terms on the Germany's Wikipedia. The book will consist entirely of the entries related to David Hasselhoff.

A European publishing house is compiling a book of the 50,000 most-searched terms on the Germany's Wikipedia. The book will come with a complementary eraser so readers can continue to alter its contents.

Teen star Miley Cyrus received a seven figure book deal with the Disney Book Group. A Disney spokesperson says it will be a tell-all book that will reveal such frank incidents as the time Miley snuck a sip of her dad's beer, her struggle with lip gloss addiction, and Miley's feelings on her upcoming menstruation.

Actress Megan Fox was voted FHM's sexiest woman in the world. The unsexiest accolades went to Megan Homely.

Matthew Fox told "Access Hollywood" that preparing for the role of "Racer X" in the movie based on the "Speed Racer" cartoon took him to a dark place and kept him up at night. Fox's next movie promises an even tougher and more painful process, when he plays the title character in "Snagglepuss."

Shirley Temple, who apparently turns 80 tomorrow (who knew she was still around!), broke her arm today.

And now for a song

In Three Dog Life, Thomas used traditional page breaks to introduce new topics within a chapter. Of the memoirs we have read thus far, the spacing in the first was the most traditional and easy to follow. Vivian Gornick also used page breaks to indicate a change in topic, time , or place. Unlike Thomas, Gornick dispensed with chapters and simply relied upon generous spacing at the top of a page to create the sense of separation--the pause, the new beginning, that comes with a new chapter. Santos had chapter titles anddivided the memoir into four sections. Santos modified the page-break-as-transition utilized by Thomas and Gornick, adding a graphic to the page break. In Santos's memoir, the graphic divider appeared roughly once a page as a means of moving through time and space. That is a quick analysis of how page breaks have functioned thus far. In June Johnson's Soldier, her use of a page dividing graphic a la Santos is significantly different and more difficult to decipher. Because I enjoyed Johnson's memoir immensely, I have to believe that there was rhyme or reason to her approach. hence, my study of--ta daaa!--the transitional page-break graphic in Soldier.

In Part I, I felt confident that Johnson was using the graphic divider as a means of including facts, anecdotes, and scenes in a very non-linear manner that verged at times on listing. Some of these could easily have been integrated into the story without such emphasis. In some cases, the emphasis seemed unequal to the content For example, "I never wanted and never got a Shirley temple doll." ( 23) Okaaay. I can see how this is indicates her treatment as a boy and her lack of girlishness and it is a sign of the times. But how important is all of that? Not so much, in my opinion, that it warrants the kind of emphasis that the page breaks creates. Is this, then, a sign of laziness? Like, Why integrate it when I can just plop it in their between some Celtic-looking bricks? Further investigation suggests no....

In Part II, the passages isolated in the page breaks are more revelatory in nature. Mixed in with the scenic and the anecdotal transitions are one-liners that warrant the refection that results from the separation from the rest of the narrative. The isolated passages reveal: "My father hurt me but I never knew why" (38); "I only used to get sick after we moved to Brooklyn" (55). One page break that baffled me, though, occurs on pages 63 to 64. Jordan is reflecting on attending church, and then splits to her Sunday muff. the Sunday muff anecdote fits nicely with the reflections on church that precedes it, yet Jordan sets it apart. Why, I'm not sure. I'm thinking, easy on the choppiness, woman! you're giving me whiplash!

In Part III, Jordan's use of the picture break becomes compelling and effective. She uses it (almost exclusively) to jump in time between her and her father's fishing trip and her reflection on family days at the beach. This more consistent use of the break is easy to understand and marks time transitions. I approve of the break most when it serves a function!

In Part IV, Jordan reverts to the inconsistent use of the breaks. Here, it mostly serves to separate anecdotes about each boy in her life as well as scenes pertaining to courting, wooing, and cats in heat : ) Here again, I feel like Jordan uses these breaks as a crutch. When she is happily in scene listing mode, there is no pressure to write in a more continuous, cohesive style. She can go all over the place, from boy to boy and scene to scene without worrying about connecting them through any other means than the theme revealed in the section heading.

Part V represents a tipping point in my understanding. At this juncture, I have read enough of Jordan's poetry to see that she uses poems to create a scene--each poem is a picture of sorts. I suspect, too, that as a poet, she is most comfortable working in scenes. the memoir, then, is a compilation of scenes, strung together by these little metal grommets that are the illustrated page break! This theory certain holds tru through section V. What about the rest?

PART VI has NONE of these! Why ever not?? Has my trail gone cold? The section, comprised of a poem (?) and prolonged conversation but seems to find no need forsec separation between its various parts.

In Part VII, an endearing passage of softness and rare relief about Nanny, the breaks are fewer and further between. Perhaps as Johnson grows older her thought processes are growing more fluid and less fragmented and she represents this is more fluid, less fragmented writing. Alas, Part VIII shoots this theory to pieces. Back are the breaks, used at inconsistent intervals; the account of teddy and the ill-fated raccoon are just as choppy as accounts from her life in Harlem at the beginning of the book.

So as not to belabor the point and analyze parts nine through eleven ad nauseum, what does Jordan's use of the illustrated page break do? Is it in fact a means of stringing together a series of scenes, structured thematically by section heading? Does she do this because she is a poet and deals in small bites of scenes-as-poems? Is this approach a means of emphasis?

While I do not have a brilliant answer, I do find it interesting that the segmented nature of the memoir did not bother me in the least. Instead, I took Jordan's cue and digested the sections as she doled them out. I was more taken out of the narrative by the insertion of poetry than anything else. I examined this craft issue of the page breaks because it sparked in me an interest of how I might adapt such breaks into my own writing. What are the rules? How does it alter the narrative or add to it? And this is where I come to my ultimate uncertainty about Jordan's craft decisions. I don't sense a rhyme or reason to the placement and function of her breaks; instead of detracting or adding from the narrative, it seems to define it.

So what do you think?

Of course, only Harpo can do the Harpo face. The rest of us lack the crucial ability to channel the qualities of papier maché into our cheeks. Above is a whole scene, from MONKEY BUSINESS, showcasing the Harpo physog and its unique subhuman qualities. In the words of Groucho, "The last time I saw a head like that it was floating in a bottle of formaldehyde."

Here are FIVE HARPO FILM FACTS:

(1) Adolph "Harpo" Marx was not actually mute, nor could he play the harp. Onscreen, he would simply wave his arms about in front of the strings and specially composed music would then be added that approximated to his hand movements. Among the greats who got their musical start composing for Harpo's hands were LAURA composer David Raksin, and future BeeGee Barry Gibb.

(2) Despite "playing dumb" onscreen, Harpo was in reality a skilled ventriloquist, and would sometimes "voice" his more gabby brothers' lines while they simply moved their lips in silence. There are persistent rumours that Zeppo was in fact genuinely mute as a result of his First World War aerial combat experience.

(3) After he suffered an aneurysm in later life, Harpo's face really did "stay like that". He was able to conceal his disability by pretending he was "just mucking about," and was eventually cured by Professor Eggelhoffer of Vienna's patented "car horn therapy".

(4) Harpo's curly blond locks required three hours of grooming by the make-up department before and after every single "take". When Harpo had a haircut, the trimmings would be meticulously gathered up and used to make wigs for Shirley Temple (a congenitally hairless dwarf).

(5) Harpo's great gifts as a sympathetic listener allowed him to bed or wed a multitude of Hollywood lovelies, including Jean Harlow, Constance Bennett, Ann Sheridan and, controversially, Trigger, whom he married in a blasphemous midnight nuptial presided over by Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey. This is detailed in chapter 13 of Trigger's unpublished autobiography, Hooves Across the Table, and resulted in a scandal that ended the celebrity horse's career in the U.S. Senate.

So for the past ten plus years, I've been used to the resemblance, getting asked if we were sisters, or in the case of that psychic, thinking a photo of her was one of me (so much for those abilities). Recently one of my friends introduced me to a program called Celebrity Face Recognition. Basically, you upload a photo of yourself into the program and it calculates how much you look like their database of celebrities.

I thought I was doing pretty well. My red-headed self resembled Kate Bosworth, not bad, I'll accept that. My brunette self also resembled Kate Bosworth. So, going through my many hair colours, I tried the blonde me. According to their software, the blonde me resembles Nakama Yukie. That's alright, I've never heard of her either. Apparently the blonde haired angel that is me most strongly looks like a Japanese actress.

Then again the same program says I also look like a young Carson Daley, Leonardo Di Caprio and a very young Elizabeth Taylor, so you can tell how serious I'm taking this.

But now I think I've reached the top of my recognition. Everyone knows about avatars. They are the little pictures that you can have one MSN or forums etc. Even on facebook, you have an avatar. Anyway, my current avatar is a picture of me:

This is what is currently showing to people who belong to NZPWI. That's right people, that's me. Some people comment on people's avatars. Most seem to leave mine alone...except for one person.

My lovely friend Primal (who will no doubt read this in the next week) asked if my avatar was of Christine Young. Now me being so sweet and innocent (shut it), I didn't have any idea who Christine Young was. I soon found out. (and shame on any of you who knows who she is!)

Here is her picture:

Nice body, nice face. Not too bad, until you go into her website. Since this is a family show, I can't show any of those pictures. Needless to say I was a little shocked since I didn't think that anyone who apparently resembles Carson Daley would ever be compared to a porn star. Yes, that's right. I resemble a 19 year old French-Canadian porn star.

Please note that I'm not complaining about this comparison. In fact, since I've been in awe of Primal for years, it's quite a complement that he even noticed. Although the fact that he knows what she looks like is a bit worrying. 

It's also given me something to work on. Now that I have her face, I want to have her body...damn, guess it's back to the gym for me.

Should also point out that the original posting that got his attention was about the supposed reunion of New Kids On The Block! Guess you never know some people...

Pero también, aunque muchos no lo creen, comparto una historia similar a la del Grinch.

Anoche, hice varios tests, para confirmar el resultado que tuve en el primero, y confirmé que según las descripciones Jungianas de la personalidad yo respondo a la personalidad INFJ.

Los INFJ, que somos tan sólo el 1% de la población mundial, respondemos a la siguiente descripción:

•  Nos gusta analizar información desde puntos de vista macro y establecer relaciones al respecto de la misma.  De esta manera, alcanzamos a entender fácilmente los puntos clave de cualquier situación.
• Nos enfocamos en las posibilidades futuras más que en el ahora.
• Disfrutamos del cambio constante, los retos y la variedad.
• Siempre buscamos crear y comprender cómo podría ser el mundo si respondiera a nuestros principios y valores.
• Siempre identificamos patrones de pensamiento para cualquier observación que realizamos.
• Por naturaleza utilizamos estrategias claras y racionales para establecer una visión clara y detallada de nuestros objetivos.
• No involucramos a otros en la búsqueda por alcanzar nuestras metas.  Somos siempre independientes.

Los INFJ somos:

Creativos, inteligentes, enfocados en fantasías y sueños más que en la realidad, le atraen las cosas tristes, teme cometer errores, son observadores, escurridizos, temen atraer la atención hacia ellos mismos, ansiosos, cuidadosos, fácilmente pueden ser asustados, sensibles ante las ofensas, individualistas, incómodos sociales, temperamentales, no les gusta ser vistos por otras personas, temerosos, perfeccionistas, pueden sabotear a su yo, si son ofendidos por alguien la ofensa es profunda, afables, cuidadosos, detestan las multitudes, organizados, apoyan la legalización de la mariguana, se enfocan en los motivos ocultos del actuar de las personas y en sus intensiones inconscientes, susceptibles al llanto y la tristeza, no son competitivos, suelen sentirse solos, poco espontáneos, buscan relaciones estables, temen el rechazo, siempre están preocupados, pueden sentirse victimizados, son facilmente intimidados por otros y son excesivamente estrictos consigo mismos.

Las profesiones universitarias que suelen seguir son:

Psicoterapeutas, artistas, curadores de arte, dueños de librerías, escritores independientes, poetas, catedráticos de arte, drama e idiomas, asistentes de bibliotecas, profesores de Literatura, pintores, novelistas, editores de libros,filósofos, ambientalistas, curadores de museos, cantantes de ópera, editores de revistas, archivistas,terapeutas de música, escritores de cine, directores de cine, directores creativos, bibliotecarios, trabajadores sociales, historiadores de arte, intérpretes para sordomudos, periodistas y fotógrafos, maquillistas y finalmente amos de casa.

Otros INFJ son:

Aristófanes, Chaucer, Goethe, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Madre Teresa de Calcuta, Shirley Temple, Martin Luther King Jr., Michael Lando, Tom Selleck, Billy Crystal, Nelson Mandela, Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jamie Foxx, entre otros.

Bueno, pues ahora ya me conozco un poco más y de paso, conocen un poco más de mí.  Claro, estas son también clasificaciones y estructuras que no pueden generalizarse y siempre habrá alguna excepción en la aplicabilidad de las mismas.  Tan sólo son guías de entendimiento humano.  No son de ninguna manera herramientas concretas para establecer quién es y qué hace cada individuo en el planeta.

Poster from What Is It

Shirley Temple doesn't hurt Shirley Temple Black, Shirley Temple helps Shirley Temple Black because Shirley Temple is remembered with love and with affection. I am thought of as a friend which I am.
- Shirley Temple on Shirley Temple (I didn't make that up, honest)

Her admirers - middle-aged men and clergymen - respond to her dubious coquetry, to the sight of her well-shaped and desirable little body, packed with enormous vitality, only because the safety curtain of story and dialogue drops between their intelligence and their desire.
- Graham Greene on Shirley Temple

I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick
- Weird Al Yankovic on Shirley Temple

Shirley Temple is seriously creepy. Born 1928, this mop-headed Lolita just refuses to die. A child star in such pedophile-approved vehicles as Polly Tix in Washington (where she played a 4 year old prostitute), War Babies (a 5 year old barmaid), Wee Willie Winkie (don't ask), and Littlest Rebel (in which she illustrates how happy those ever-jolly colored folk are as slaves -- so long as they are allowed to dance and sing), Shirley grew up to choose the political life over the limelight.

After losing a bid for congress (on a pro-Vietnam war platform), Shirley Temple Black was appointed a delegate to the United Nations by President Richard M. Nixon in 1969, lost a boob to cancer in 1972, became United States Ambassador to Ghana in 1974, and was the first female Chief of Protocol of the United States in 1976.

 
Even Salvador Dali agrees: Shirley Temple is Creepy

Her movies make my skin crawl.

This is a long one but stick with it for prostitution, ass grabbing,
a happy tapdancing 'colored' boy (who eventually does a strip tease for other males),
2 money shots (one of gokkun proportions), simulated fellatio,
the beginnings of a menage a trois, a boob grope, and hints of bestiality.

Who puts animal crackers in their soup? Seriously, that's disgusting.
I bet she also puts ketchup on her mac n' cheese.
No, wait...that's me. It's delicious, you should try it.

I's likes watermelon, fried chickens, an' molasses, if it be pleasin you, massa.

Pedophilia sure was quaint.

Some youtube commenter pretty much sums this one up:
"At this time ppl were not so hysterical about the (natural) beauty and attraction of children. It was normal to enjoy it. "

This is how I see Shirley.

Further Reading: Most Sacred Monsters - Wikipedia - Virginia.edu - Answers.com - Uncyclopedia

More Too Long; Didn't Read Biographies:
The Great Kat - Jeanne Tripplehorn - Jesse Owens - Thomas Edison - Egon Schiele