As usual, the organisation of the clinic left much to be desired (such as the dr telling us one thing then the nurse telling us another, and not being able to get the info we need most for a couple of weeks). We had a meeting first with the dr, then after with a nurse who talked some more about the same stuff but also more detail with costs etc.

The dr has basically given/suggested four options, and told us his recommendation. He was nice an sympathetic and said that all of K's testing levels have been normal and that there is nothing he can see to worry about or point towards why it hasn't worked yet. He did mention 'unexplained fertility' as she has clearly been ovulating, hsg was clear etc but also that he doesn't like to diagnose that until 8 failed IUI's.

So, the options are:

1. Continue as we are, doing natural cycle, unmedicated IUIs until we have reached the 'quota' of 8. He mentioned stats that showed from attempts 4-8 another 30% of women would get pregnant. He also mentioned that if there is an underlying condition that he can't see at this point, then obviously there would not be success.
2. Moved to stimulated cycles/IUI for the next 3 attempts. This would involve clomid days 2-6, then Gonal-F injections (2-4) of these prior to ovulation, followed by a trigger shot before the IUI.
3. Third option is IVF (which we weren't expecting to be mentioned at all at this stage!)
4. Fourth option is laproscopic surgery to make sure there isn't anything else happening that we were unaware of. He mentioned this because K has had appendicitis in the past, and suspected PID (pelvic inflammatory disease - this was mentioned by a dr once years ago and no evidence found on ultrasounds etc nor any symptoms since).

The dr's recommendation is that we move to stim cycles for 3 months, then consider IVF if no success by then.

So, our initial reaction to these options is:

• Surgery pretty much ruled out - for one thing it is incredibly invasive, would cost $6-7000 which wouldn't be covered by our insurance, would involve 2 weeks off work recovering.
• IVF is hideously expensive - somewhere in the region of $10,000. This would mean we would probably need to get a loan. We don't want to get ourselves into debt over this but this is a decision for further down the track.
• Stim cycle. Injections. Hmmm. K is very worried/nervous/stressed about the idea of injecting herself (and it would make it worse if I was to do it for her). At this point in the nurse's office things got a bit teary. See, when the dr said that she probably wouldn't need to inject she was very relieved, so as a result as soon as the nurse said yes you will definitely need to, she just started crying.

We don't know yet what we'll do, we have another appointment with a nurse in 2 weeks where she'll show us the needles and exactly whats involved. We have a prescription for Clomid now, but we're not going to use it this cycle - we need some time for K to get her head around it all before deciding. This is where we are a bit pissed off at their organisation as well - it sucks that they couldn't do the needle thing while we were there - they knew we were coming and they knew that was the course they would be recommending, instead we have to take more time off work to come back etc.

We are also considering just doing 3 more unmedicated cycles and seeing what happens - the stim cycles will cost us at least twice - possibly nearly three times as much so we can get more tries that way, but with lower odds.

Really though, it all comes down to how K feels about the needles. It's easy to sit here and say well the odds are better, we should do it this way, but it's not worth it if she's going to be that uncomfortable and stressed - she has enough stresses in her workplace that probably aren't helping as it is.

We talked last night about what we want to do, and whether we fit in another unmedicated cycle this month while we decide.

This morning K said she would rather have a break this month and try to make this decision with as little pressure as possible so that's what we're doing. There is always that little corner of my mind that thinks - what if this was supposed to be the month, but I agree that that's probably the sensible option.

We also asked the dr about excercise during the tww, as we've been told K should take it easy which has been really hard for her both with weight management and her job (high school PE teacher who always plays every game with the kids). However he said that aside from taking it easy for a couple of hours after the IUI, she should just do what she normally does. Basically that there is no evidence to suggest it harms the conception or implantation if she continues the same level of exercise - yay.

Today, K has gone up to Auckland to help her parents clear out some stuff from their house in preparation for K's sister, husband and 5 kids moving in for a few months while they build their own house.  I am home doing our mountain of housework, then this afternoon we're battening down the hatches in preparation for what is supposed to be 'the most intense sub-tropical storm of the decade'.

It's already pretty yucky out there and it's not supposed to hit our area til late this afternoon.

Tyvärr är det så att när man lyssnar på de nedladdade programmen i sin MP3-spelare så kommer inte hela musiken med. Det p.g.a upphovsrättsliga skäl. På SRs hemsida står det så här: ”Sveriges Radios avtal med de upphovsrättsliga organisationerna tillåter inte att vi tillhandahåller visst upphovsrättsskyddat material för nedladdning.” Alltså, det är så att Sveriges Radio inte får förmedla musik i ett program som du fritt kan ladda hem på nätet.

Jag vet att SR inget hellre vill än att lägga ut ”hela” program istället för stympade versioner som nu. Men det är alltså ”de upphovsrättsliga organisationerna” som stoppar det.

Ett av argumenten från ”de upphovsrättsliga organisationerna” är att skydda det konstnärliga verket. Gott nog, men va faaan, är inte ett radioprogram att likställa med ett konstnärligtverk?

Jag vet att många av sommarvärdarna, och alla andra som jobbar med program på SR, använder massor av tid för att på ett kreativt och konstnärligt sätt få till sina program. Talet, tonen och musiken i programmet bildar tillsammans ett ”konstnärligtverk” som i sin tur är skyddat av SRs upphovsrätt.

Vilket i och för sig talar mot mitt argument att låta SR fritt distribuera sina program via poddradio. Men vad jag vill ha sagt är att musiken i programmen är till för helheten och inte för att någon i efterhand ska sitta och klippa bort talet och sedan spara musiken i filer för att sedan gratis dela ut det på nätet. Det tror jag faktiskt ingen orkar göra.

Här om dagen laddade jag ned Fredrik Häréns sommar program från den 25.e juni och blev glatt överraskad över ett nytt grepp från Fredrik och producenten Ulph Nyström. Det var bara 2 låtar i hela programmet. Istället valde Fredrik att använda….. Ja vadå??? Lyssna här så får du höra. Hur som helst, jag tycker att det var ett bra inlägg i debatten, vilket Fredrik kommenterar i sitt program.

Snälla Upphovsorganisationer, STIM, IFPI och allt vad ni heter! Låt Sveriges Radio använda musiken fullt ut i sina Poddradioprogram. Är det inte dags för ”Pay-back time” från artister, låtskrivare och musiker som fått draghjälp med sina karriärer genom att Sveriges Radios olika kanaler spelar deras verk….

Hallå alla upphovsmän! Tänk på det här då… Eftersom det är fler och fler som väljer att lyssna på t.ex. Sommar i P1 via poddradio så blir era ”konstnärligaverk” halshuggna och inte spelade i sin helhet, vilket jag antar att ni vill….

Förutsatt att det finns någon ansvarig utgivare/motsvarande så finns det två varianter. Antingen i stil med planka.se att bredbandsleverantören inte har någon koppling till musikindustrin men står för eventuella kostnader om man blir en av de utvalda. Troligare är att bredbandsleverantörerna som satsar på sådana här tjänster sammarbetar med dinosaurierna inom musikindustrin och vad du får motsvarar medlemskap till itunes store på samma räkning som bredbandet, om än med fler låtar knutna till butiken. Tanken är god men det är många relevanta frågor kring hur man har tänkt realisera det hela som lämnas obesvarade.

Näe, ärligt talat så håller jag mig till webbradio varierat med ett musikbiblioteket bestående av filer jag rippat från mina skivor och gratis nedladdade filer. En icke oansenlig del av mitt lyssnande sker genom just väl valda radiokanaler från last.fm och det är utan tvekan främst den vägen jag upptäcker nya artister. Jag kan välja vad jag vill lyssna på med större precision och utbud än vanliga radiokanaler, om än inte exakt vilken låt. Filerna sparas inte permanent som filer på min dator men finns alltid tillgängliga gratis genom att starta utvald radiokanal på nytt.

Ur musikindustrins ögon måste jag vara en ytterst tråkig individ. Det blir inte av att jag går på spelningar ens nästan så ofta som jag skulle önska. Utslaget på ett år snittar antalet inköpta skivor närmare en per månad än två st, och då är det mestadels något äldre (läs billigare) skivor. Att köpa musik i digital form har jag inte provat på än. Jag har ändå svårt att välja vad jag ska lyssna på och radiokanaler via last.fm inte bara duger - det går mycket snabbare och enklare än att plocka ut ett urval av mina filer och trycka på random. För att inte tala om billigare. Och det är fullt lagligt. Jag kommer nog helt enkelt aldrig att skaffa mig någon större musiksamling, det verkar så förbannat omständigt.

Gränserna mellan musik enligt annans urval utan kostnad (radio, hissmusik, på stan, etc) och full kontroll (rippa, ladda ner i digital form, etc) som föregås av ett köp håller på att suddas ut. Många mindre kända artister släpper sina ljudfiler fria och tjänar i längden på att det drar folk till deras spelningar.

Hela grejen med fildelningsavgift känns som de gamla katolska botbreven. Känner du dig omoralisk? Köp syndernas förlåtelse! Och så uppstod protestantismen..

Musikindustrin.nu:

Musikskaparnas intresseorganisation Stim föreslog i går nästa steg på vägen mot laglig fildelning av musik. Stim vill redan till hösten genomföra ett test tillsammans med en eller flera internetleverantörer. I testet utvärderas abonnenternas intresse för laglig fildelning av musik. Stim vill även testa tekniska lösningar för att se vilka musikfiler som man lyssnar på.

Detta är väl ett steg i rätt riktning eller vad säger ni? Ett frivilligt abonnemang som i utbyte ger dig rätten att ladda ner musik, film etcetera utan några skuldkänslor (?) . För den som vill göra rätt för sig - inte något skitsnack som att man ska bädda in en kostnad i TV-licensen, inge tvång, frihet åt folket. Hooyah! Men frågan är om detta kommer att fungera, kommer någon att skaffa detta? Om jag känner efter så beror allt på priset, flera hundra kronor skulle jag inte betala, men säg 100-200 pix i månaden, absolut...

Ni kan själva gå in och läsa artikeln på musikindustrin.nu, men om man läser vidare i artikeln har dem intervju intervjuat Eva Modin (Vice vd, STIM) som säger att dem redan i höst, ska ta första steget mot detta.

Knäckfrågan för mig som konsument är, oavsett vilken lösning man kommer fram till, hur mycket musiken kommer kosta. Enligt de snitt som presenteras laddar your average fildelare ner 540 - 700 låtar per år. Detta skulle, om man går på vad en singel säljs för på exempelvis CDON (=9,90kr), motsvara en kostnad för konsumenten på cirka 5400 - 7000 kronor. Kommer priset sättas därefter tror jag att konceptet blir svårt att sälja, men så naiva kan man knappast vara efter år av motstånd mot den rådande prissättningen.

Till detta kommer faktorn att när musiken finns fri, om än olagligt, så borde det finnas en rätt stor del i dessa 540 - 700 nedladdade spår, som laddas ner enbart för att de finns tillgängliga, som låtarna på en platta där man egentligen bara gillar en låt men när hela plattan finns "kan man ju lika gärna dra ner hela". Det skulle vara intressant att se hur stor del av de låtar som laddas ner som de facto spelas, och inte enbart ligger på datorn och tar plats.

Men som sagt, ett försiktigt ja tack, och så hoppas vi att det kommer en lösning som faktiskt kan funka för så väl intresseorganisationer som konsumenter.

The post-exam festivities kicked off with a short trip to Bintan, which you can read about on Da's blog here. Since the write-up is already rather extensive and rather well-written, I shall not comment anymore. The trip started a week-long binge in which I ended up drinking everyday of the week from Monday to Saturday. These horrid enjoyable events where friends get together to revel in each other's (drunken) company have been well documented on Facebook. Trust me, pictures do paint a thousand words, but most of these pictures just induce a long, head-shaking, silence. I'm not exactly very inspired to recount all that happened, but if you were there, you know it was kickass.

What was really exciting though, and managed to get me to wake up at 1030am as opposed to 3pm, was the trip I made down to SAFTI MI today to visit my former Wing Commander from Delta Wing in the Officer Cadet School (OCS). The trip was born out of a random conversation between Stim John, Louis, Tits and myself one day when we started talking about the uber-comfortable OCS shorts we used to wear. This then led on to how we should go back one day to visit the place that held so many memories (and nightmares) for us. Today was thus the fruition of that extremely frivolous discussion. Prepare to laugh.

After a lovely lunch and a good chat with our Wing Commander, who never fails to amaze us with his wisdom and inspire us with his genuine and sincere character, Louis, Stim and I headed back to OCS for our secondary agenda of the day - checking out the e-mart and gift shop that has been the recipient of a huge proportion of our cadet pay. Back in the day, the gift shop served as a life saver for all us monkeys who would lose different things on a daily basis and need to re-stock before we got our asses handed to us by our instructors. Upon discovering at the e-mart that my account had $226 worth of credit, the three of us proceeded to go mad and grab things off the shelves like they were going out of stock. This was hugely satisfying I suppose simply because it was all free (and we REALLY need some more green towels. No, really). The trip to the gift shop was less inspiring though, and Louis only ended up buying a hammock (?).

In desperate need of a drink due to the immensely hot weather, we decided to see if our favourite canteen stall was open. We were in luck, and even found out that Louis and Stim knew the nephew of the stall uncle (he almost didn't remember his nephew's name). This place is known by cadets past and present for selling, amongst other things, a kickass dish known as Ji Dan Mian, which really is chicken egg noodles. The dish, that used to be the highlight of the rare canteen breaks we got in OCS, consists of Maggi Mee with a black soy sauce, fried chicken and a fried egg. Unhealthy doesn't even begin to describe it. But it is SO GOOD.

I used to love the root beer floats here so I decided to have one as well.

After having our fill, and getting slightly sleepy, we decided to head off, but not before sneaking some more shots near the OCS parade square. You can check out the few photos we took on Facebook, but here are some (please don't charge me MINDEF).

You're so gonna get charged for this, Stim.

The three of us and the OCS tower behind us.

All in all, a day well spent. Whoever thinks that NS is a waste of time just wasn't as blessed as we were.
DELTA!

I den mån som denna bild av Sveriges musik stämmer, måste den betecknas som ljus! Färre besökare på mastodontkonserterna och fler på småspelningarna betyder att ett större antal artister kan tjäna stålar på att spela

- Rasmus Fleischer

baru 2x sedut dah rase..

best..

berat giler..

Someone told us early on that if a stim wasn't impeding function, leave it be. I didn't really agree then though, and I don't know. Stims can be dangerous, and stims can be unhealthy. Stims can also scream "I HAVE ISSUES."

One of my son's doctors calls his stims 'tics.' But tics belong to Tourette's, and my has autism, not Tourette's...right? So stims are stims, and not tics. Is it semantics, or are stims ever really tics? Is the defining factor the ability to stop the stim?

Someone else told me years ago, when I asked what we could do to help my son, "It depends all on how autistic you want your child to be." In a way, I agreed -- I could deal with the way he was, or I could work on helping him more. So away I went, finding the latest and greatest to help him. Then I realized eventually that only in a perfect world could I make it all go away. Sure, we can improve things, fix some things, change others, but I don't want him to be autistic at all, yet there it is, he's still autistic. Stims are part of the category of things I'd love to fix, but can't. Yet if a stim isn't impeding his function, do you spend time and energy on stopping it, if it takes time away from teaching social and behavioral nuances and behavior?

My son's stims rotate. Typically, he has about two or three going at a time, and they each rotate for about two months. The only non-rotating stim is his need to constantly move his hair up on the top of his head, and to twirl it. (He's got long hair, a wish of his. Initially, he said he wanted to hide behind it so he wouldn't have to see people, and while he no longer says that's the reason, I still wonder.) Anyway..his current stims are scrunching up his mouth as though he's giving a kiss while scrunching his nose like the person he's kissing smells really bad. And he does it over and over and over. While eating, reading, playing Guitar Hero, bathing, falling asleep..it's incessant. Mix it with the other stim-of-the-month, stretching his mouth longwise as far as it will go. When I ask him why, he says it's because it feels good, yet other times he appears entirely surprised that he was doing it.

Is this stim hurting anything? No. Is it obvious? Heck, yes. I realize that the 'obvious' part of it is my problem, and a problem I need to get over. My son's very verbal, and many of his behaviors are via yelling, screaming, saying inappropriate/mean things, sometimes combined with hitting, yelling, throwing things, running away, etc. People in stores don't take to that stuff very kindly, but I've found that when your child looks funny, people also stare. My husband's great at telling me to ignore it, but I've got a ways to go on this. Meanwhile, these are still stims I want to fix...or should I?

I like that they want to find new ways, and I like their discussive tone. As I have stated earlier, I am tired of the extremism in this question. Just a lot of thinkers, throwing bad language at each other is quite boring.

The pricing? I dont know. Stim writes that a normal Internet users fee is raised with an amount that is proportionate to the total use of music on the web. I have no idea what that would mean in real money.

The idea itself is not new or innovative: Thoughts of subscriptions, certain accounts and licenses have been flourishing for some time now. I can see a trend that the political parties and the large interest organizations hook on to the license-part of these matters. From the record companies point of view, I tend to hear about subscriptions to their respective catalogue. From artists themselves, I think I can hear more account-like ideas, that would bring th artists closer to the audience.

There are some problems in Stim:s proposal that I can see already, without a lot of thinking on the matter:

The license fee is only for downloading music. If this is a way to go, there would be new fees for downloading movies, games, programs and stuff that we dont imagine downloading today. There is a risk of a quite expensive fee.

Today, local radio stations already pay this type of fee, and the money go to the bestsellers on the official charts, not the artists that are actually played. If my music is downloaded, Kent (Swedish popular band) gets money. As we all know, the use of Internet as a source for new exciting music and a cultural history resource to find strange old bootlegs, are very vivid. The listening environment have changed so that the music on the sales charts and the music people download to on the web, is not the same music. So the fees can be transferred to the wrong people.

Will a license really matter? Stim examplify with a parent not comfortable about their teenage kid downloading illegaly. But there are and will be huge amounts of parents downloading illegaly too.

The pricing is crucial. If its too expensive, very few would get it. If its just a small amount, very few would care. So there is a fine balance I think. They use phrases like "free and legal" and "kravmärkt" - which is a metaphore for a swedish environmental marking of goods. Inviting to a discussion is healthy, so it will be interesting to follow the edvelopment.

If you want to read their pressrelease:
English: http://www.stim.se/stim/prod/stimv4eng.nsf/alldocuments/1D66451CBE1B0F81C12573F4002E1CCC

Swedish: http://www.gp.se/gp/jsp/Crosslink.jsp?d=114&a=400060