But I'm just happy to be getting the attention that do get from him, even though it isn't much. Its enough I guess. I just wish my anger didn't get the best of me sometimes. I wish I could tell him these things but I don't want him to think different of me like he already do. He already don't take me seriously half of the time. But I love him always and always will. No matter how mad or pissed off me make me. If thats the only promise I make, that'll be the only promise I'll keep. I bet my life on it.

-N-

What I'd love to see would be something like an undo/redo tree. I missed that for a long time, but the idea came up again when I recently saw this image on the GIMP UI Brainstorm, by Jan Rüegg:

It shows pretty clearly what it wasn't to say. Perhaps the options in the context menu would be really difficult to implement, like moving a branch, or a "leaf", but the general idea would be worth the effort.

I know that GIMP isn't meant as a replacement to Photoshop, but as Photoshop doesn't have this function either, this would be a clear advantage over that software. I'm sure many people would switch, or at least start using GIMP.

When I asked that on IRC, it started a big discussion, luckily not about if it's useable, but rather if/how it would be doable. It would make sense as a first step, as a pre-undo-tree, to implement saving history to the XCF file, but considering where GIMP is heading, it could be considered useless. GIMP tries to become a non-destructive editor. (Although it would be still cool to see your steps one by one.)

Nevertheless, for actions like drawing, selecting, filters and so on, it would be cool to have something similar to a undo-redo-tree. Sure you can argue now, if that won't be going to be wasted development time of code what will be thrown away later, but it really depends on what GIMP wants to become. We'll probably have to wait. And hey, why not become versatile?

Lounge κομμάτι του Dimitri From Paris (Une Very Stylish Fille) με sample από το BreakFast at Tiffany's..
Enjoy!

Kebohongan, tidak hanya dilakukan oleh kriminal. Koruptor, politikus, pengusaha dan siapapun bisa saja menjadi seorang pembohong. Ada yang belum pernah berbohong?

Saat kita berbohong, selalu dilakukan dengan sadar dan mengandung unsur kesengajaan. Misalnya, seseorang yang mengetahui sesuatu namun mengaku tidak tahu. Namun situasinya berbeda jika misalnya ada seseorang mengatakan bahwa si A pergi dengan si B, padahal sebenarnya si A pergi dengan si C. Bisa jadi hal ini hanya sebuah kesalahan karena ketidak tahuan, sehingga tidak bisa dikatakan sebagai sebuah kebohongan kecuali jika dilakukan dengan sengaja.

Selama ini, jika media "salah" dalam menginformasikan sesuatu bisa dikatakan telah melakukan kebohongan terhadap publik. Namun mengacu teori diatas, selama dilakukan tanpa kesengajaan, kesalahan memberikan informasi tidak bisa dikatakan sebagai kebohongan. Meskipun demikian, media tetap harus cek dan ricek agar dapat menyajikan berita dan informasi yang bisa dipertanggungjawabkan.

Dalam buku "What is Compulsive Lying?", Derek Wood membeberkan bahwa ada beberapa alasan mengapa seseorang berbohong. Alasan yang pertama adalah ketakutan. Karena takut menghadapi hukuman atau resiko dari kesalahan yang telah dia perbuat.

Yang kedua adalah karena kebiasaan. Karena selalu mengalami ketakutan dihukum, seseorang secara otomatis akan terus menerus berbohong. Bahkan jika sudah parah, bisa jadi dia akan mengalami lying by reflex, sehingga meskipun sudah dihadapkan sebuah bukti kebenaran, dia tetap berkeyakinan bahwa kebohongannya-lah yang benar.

Yang ketiga adalah karena mencontoh orang lain. Jika seseorang melihat orang lain berbohong, terutama jika dia terlibat dalam kasus yang sama, maka kecenderungan untuk berbohong akan semakin besar.

Dari ketiga hal tersebut diatas, pada intinya bisa diketahui bahwa seseorang akan berbohong pada saat mereka merasa tidak akan mendapatkan apa yang mereka inginkan jika mereka berbicara jujur.

Menurut pengalaman, yang paling berbahaya dan susah diatasi adalah berbohong yang sudah menjadi kebiasaan. Tanpa mereka sadari, kebohongan sudah membuat mereka kecanduan. Sekali berbohong mereka akan berbohong dan berbohong lagi untuk menutupi kebohongannya yang sebelumnya. Dan semakin sering berbohong, dia akan semakin terasah, baik secara kemampuan maupun keberanian. Jika diawal berbohong masih takut-takut lama-lama akan makin berani dan semakin pandai berkilah. Mereka lalai bahwa dengan berbohong, mereka sudah melakukan kesalahan ganda yaitu berbuat sesuatu yang salah dan seharusnya tidak dilakukan dan berbohong.

Cerita tentang seorang pembohong besar bisa kita tonton dalam sebuah film komedi BIG FAT LIAR (2002). Dalam film ini diceritakan pengalaman seorang anak muda yang memiliki kebiasaan berbohong. Kadang dia berhasil namun tidak jarang juga kebohongannya terbongkar.

Bagaimana dengan radio atau kantor kita?

Jika ada crew yang seperti ini, apa yang harus kita lakukan? Dasar dari relationship dalam hal apapun adalah kejujuran. Perilaku atau attitude adalah bagian dari diri kita. Mereka yang attitudenya buruk, apakah harus dipertahankan? Skill masih bisa diperbaiki bahkan ditingkatkan. Namun untuk attitude, tidak akan ada yang bisa memperbaiki, kecuali yang bersangkutan memang memiliki niat kuat untuk berubah menjadi lebih baik.

Tugas kita hanyalah mengingatkan, mengarahkan dan memberikan penilaian. Namun semua kembali ditentukan oleh yang bersangkutan. Yang perlu kita pertimbangkan adalah, jangan sampai waktu dan energi kita terkuras untuk menyelamatkan seseorang, sementara pekerjaan dan anggota team kita yang lain justru terbengkalai.

Now that I've got your attention with pictures, I'll let you know the videos for those two are ONLY available from the http://www.blackstreetbbw.com/ClipStore.html ! Go to the Clips Store and buy something! You only need $1.50 to do it! So blackstreetbbw members, if you want the video for my latest sighting, please go to the Clip Store from the blackstreetbbw home page! I really need extra cash since only about one person joined this week. This new member drought is killing me here... Traffic and viewership are at an all time high, and sales are at an all-time low! What gives? I'm working my ass off here on blackstreetbbw and I AM NOT getting paid for it! If anyone uses the Clip Store to help keep blackstreetbbw from starving that would help A LOT! Right now people aren't even clicking on it! I'm like, if you're going to only look, I sure wish you'd at least look at the new pages I fixed up that I want you to look at! Oh, and the other thing members should be looking at is the Member's Home Page- that's where this week's update is. Not in the sectional pages yet.

 The update I just did features the biggest breast movement I've ever seen in the longest sighting I've ever had! Hope you like ssbbw breasts! But if you don't like 'em on a woman that big, I found a smaller one with knockout curves all over her body that you can oogle instead! So that and another thick curvy beauty gets the Butts Section taken care of too. But yeah, go look from the main member's page because the vids aren't in the sub sections yet. Keep visiting blackstreetbbw like every other day to see the work get done day by day. You have no idea how much work this all is, and how much effort I'm putting into all this! I can tell you if I can get some more money frow somewhere I'll be able to do awesome things with this sight for the lowest price in the world, but I really do need somebody to send me some kind of patronage! You could even send a donation if you wanted to. The same email you use to reach me from the Contact Page is the same one you'd use! :)

Okay, more pictures! These have vids in the Clip Store too! They feature some incredible shots!

  It was the first of the month so people had money, AND they were doing a back to school sales tax holiday, so everybody and they momma was at Wal-Mart taking advantage. I hit BOTH Wal-Marts today! That's about the first time I ever did both of them in ONE day! At the first one I saw something awesome almost everywhere I turned, but at the second one... it was late by then, and thing didn't get exciting until the big boob babes showed up later on. But before I tell you that, I've got to upload my picture gallery of all the vids from that day, the next day, and the other little vids I'd already had on my memory card when I started!

OMG! NO!!! I WAS ONE CENT OFF TODAY! =[
One cent! Like, a PENNY! Where did you roll off to, Lincoln?
And I know it was a literal penny, because I couldn't be off a cent any other way. Not even through credit cards.
Ugh.

And there were other people handling my cash drawer today. I wish I could say "whoop! day 4 since it was probably THEM that did it" but I don't know that =( I'm just going to have to work from day 1 again soon...
*sigh*
Record: Still 3 days.

Anyways, not much happened today. I traded my shift with someone so that instead of working this one annoying-ish carnival game, I was able to work at the store. I enjoy using a cash register much more than an apron.
However--guess what?--The carnival game breaks down and closes! And the guy I traded gets put on relatively easy stocking work and when that's done, he just waits around in the office till he was needed.
GAH!
Unlucky day for me today. lol
But I think I made another family's day--at least, in part I did. I was given a set of rental keys that was lost, and about an hour later was approached by a guy looking for keys.
When I determined they were his, he was ECSTATIC. He thanked me a bunch of times, then went over to his family, who returned to thank me a bunch more times and even offer me $20 as a tip.
"haha sorry, I can't take tips, but thank you"
"That's ok, I'll just 'accidentally' put it over here, and you can pick it up after I leave"
Thankfully his wife told him that I'd probably be fired if I took the money, cuz I sure wasn't doing a good job of getting the point across.
It's good though--I'm really glad I was able to help them =) The guy said he had a bunch of "client's papers" in a briefcase in the car that would have caused a horrible situation if someone else got the keys and stole the car.

Anyways.
Overall, it was a very good day =)

Kabar bahwa model dan pesinetron Grady Gland Adam Tumbuan menjadi salah satu korban pembunuhan Ryan sangat mengejutkan rekan-rekannya di Global TV maupun para mantan finalis VJ Hunt MTV 2007.
”Kita semua kaget waktu mendengar kabar ini. Tapi, waktu polisi datang ke Global TV Jumat lalu (25/7).

Beritanya kan masih simpang siur. Kabarnya, hasil otopsi baru ketahuan hari ini. Tapi, kita belum tahu,” ujar Benny ”DJ Blanco” Sarmanella, Marcomm Manager Global TV, saat dihubungi Warta Kota melalui telepon, Kamis (31/7).

”Aku dan teman-teman finalis lain kaget dan enggak menyangka dia meninggal sebagai korban Ryan,” ujar pemenang VJ Hunt MTV 2007, VJ Ben Kasyafani, saat dihubungi terpisah, kemarin.

Baik Benny maupun Ben sama sekali tidak menduga bahwa Grady punya kelainan atau penyimpangan orientasi seksual. ”Aku cuma kenal saat jadi finalis, tampilannya sih cowok banget, jadi sulit dibedain (homo atau bukan),” kata Ben.

Tapi, Grady yang diduga sebagai salah satu korban pembunuhan Ryan ini pernah mengaku dirinya homo. Ini diungkapkan Grady saat proses kasting VJ Hunt MTV 2007 kepada head of talent artist Global TV, Putu Putri Ayu. Grady adalah finalis 10 besar VJ Hunt MTV.

Putri bilang, Grady membahasakan dirinya ”Dede”. ”Dari awal kasting, semua peserta memang harus jujur sama gue. Saat itu, dia mengaku,’Dede sebenarnya ”B” (biseksual—Red),” katanya.
Ketika ditanya balik oleh Putri, sejak kapan jadi ”B”, Grady saat itu menjawab, ”Ya pokoknya, di awal-awal aku melalang buana ke Jakarta.”

Menurut Putri, obrolan secara pribadi seperti saat kasting VJ Hunt diperlukan untuk keharmonisan hubungan kerja di masa berikutnya karena Putri akan menjadi ”ibu” bagi mereka. ”Wawancara ini adalah job description gue saat menyaring mereka yang nantinya jadi anak asuh kita, sebelum dilempar ke manajemen MNC,” katanya.

”Sebetulnya, kita (pihak MTV dan Global) tidak peduli, dia mau homo, gay, atau lesbian. Karena, pemenang dilihat dari skill. Data keluarga aja bagi kita enggak penting. Makanya, kita tidak tahu orangtuanya. Buat tahu kepribadian mereka, ini cuma untuk gue pribadi, karena kalau menang juara 1 atau 2, mereka akan lama kerja sama gue. Biar langgeng, gue harus tahu karakter anak gue, jangan sampai gue salah treatment mereka,” jelas Putri.

Selama karantina, Putri memang dekat dan jadi tempat curhat ke-10 finalis, termasuk Grady. ”Sosok Dede itu cowok banget. Badannya sangat tegap, atletis. Wajahnya ganteng, kulitnya putih, tingginya 176 cm. Ya kayak Indra Bruggman gitu deh,” papar Putri.
Di sisi lain, Grady memang terlihat butuh perhatian. ”Dia manja. Dia pengin gue tahu masa lalu dia,” kata Putri.

Grady bercerita bahwa dirinya menjadi gay karena terpengaruh pergaulan saat terjun sebagai mode, dan pesinetron. Grady adalah mantan model di agensi Look Model, lalu jadi model freelance. ”Dia sempat pacaran sama cowok dan diajak tinggal di Filipina,” beber Putri.

Broken home

Secara pribadi, Putri mengaku simpati dengan latar belakang kehidupan Grady atau yang menyebut dirinya ”Dede”. ”Dia (Grady) itu perantauan. Orangtuanya di Manado, katanya sudah bercerai. Kasihan… Hidupnya seperti cerita sinetron. Dia itu anak broken home, ngakunya dari kecil tidak diurus keluarga,” katanya.

Menurut Putri, Grady pernah bercerita, ”Aku merantau ke Jakarta dari mulai enggak punya uang, enggak punya apa-apa.”

”Makanya, dia suka telepon aku untuk minta job. Jadi, aku suka ajak kasting. Kasihan sih, dia kan di sini kos. Terakhir dia telepon aku minta job akhir tahun lalu,” ujar Putri. Dia bertemu Grady terakhir kali pada bulan November 2007.

”Waktu jadi finalis VJ, dia masih jomblo. Tapi setelah itu, dia pernah ngenalin pacarnya, cewek, pas kita nongkrong di Citos (Cilandak Town Square), bulan November 2007. Ya jujur, gue malah senang lihat dia pacaran sama cewek. Gue lihat sih, dia memang masih bisa suka cewek. Dia kan jadi ”B” karena pergaulan,” kata Putri. Setelah gagal jadi VJ MTV, Grady makin jarang ketemu Putri.

”Abis itu, kita cuma telepon-teleponan. Sampai suatu ketika, ada SMS misterius yang dikirimkan ke kita-kita di Global TV, sekitar bulan Januari-Februari 2008. SMS itu bilang, Grady sudah meninggal karena kecelakaan. Kita coba cek, tapi enggak ada yang tahu. Semua kehilangan jejak. Pas kita cek ke anak-anak Look Model, mereka enggak percaya, karena belum lama ketemu dia,” kenang Putri.
Grady adalah pribadi yang hangat dan supel. ”Dede itu orangnya rame, supel, dan sebetulnya laki banget. Gayanya enggak kayak bencong, meski sama aku, dia suka manja,” ujar Putri.

Putri melanjutkan, ”Dede sering nongkrong di Kemang sama aku dan anak- anak Global TV lainnya. D ia malah suka melindungi yang cewek-cewek kalau ada cowok brengsek, atau player (playboy—Red),” tutur Putri.

info : wartakota.co.id ]]> http://dxzstudioz.wordpress.com/?p=72 Sun, 03 Aug 2008 06:35:59 +0000 Hans http://dxzstudioz.wordpress.com/?p=72 Sunday, 4th February 2008 is a bad day for me…. T_T
This day is the first day to start lecture for me in 4th Semester, In the morning i was wrong in reading the place of my first lecture, Probability & Statistics for Engineers. I read 9012 instead of 9021. then i search this room in TVST-Octagon Building which has room code 90xx, but don’t know why i can’t find this room, i felt a little frustated . Luckily i met my friend, then i asked him where is the lecture room for Probability & Statistics lectured by Dimitri Mahayana, so i can find the room easily.

In the mid day, when i want to go to have Chinese Lesson, don’t know why my motorcycle gas-handle suddenly become unusable, the gas-cable must be broken… so i had to take it by pulled it to the nearest ay uto-repair-shop on foot on the Dipati Ukur T_T, but i think the mechanic is very IDIOT -_-!!!…. he made my motorcycle become worse, the gas-handle was repaired by changed the gas cable. but my motorcycle can’t start by using starter-button, it could start by using motor-pedal, but when it started, it would become off when the handle-gas isn’t given. I think “Hey what’s wrong with this….” then he said “blablablalabla”( he said something unimportant, but the main point is he want me to give permission to overhaul my motorcycle machine) but i remembered that i had a same problem with this mechanic when i want to change my motorcycle’s bulb, when he change to the new bulb my sein light become odd, and he said that this part must changed, this… this….. but when the head of mechanic come in the problem solved, so i thought i must get my motorcycle to the official service centre tomorrow to get better and guarantee service.
I get to the Chinese Lesson place by join my friends motorcycle. AND in the Chinese Lesson place before i get into the class i buy a snack (a big thin cracker with chocolate milk) near the Chinese Lesson place, when i was eating it, suddenly the snack is cracked and it fall to the road, I only eat it for a little T_T…..
When the class is over, i want to go home by join my friends motorcycle too… but it was raining moreover we must paid for park there, whereas usually we paid for free for motorcycle, the parkman is very SUCKS!!!… This day is a bad day for me……………………………………………

  If you've been with http://www.blackstreetbbw.com for a long time, and/or reading old video descriptions on there very thoroughly and very much, you may've heard some of what I said in these little stories around now before.

  The woman from the office in the previous stories was a sort of goal for all time woman, meaning if I can find another woman just like that, then one of my goals in life will have been accomplished! I know it's pitiful to have goals in life like that, but still. If you think I'm pitiful because of that, then fuck you. Anyways, I did kind of had some other women on that level sort of. For breasts, I don't really need to tell you the story here because I'm going to get around to publishing it all in the Member's Area, but I can tell you that I had this video of lots of tit moving for a long time that pretty much failed to come out, but now I've finally found a woman to put out that fire who's going up in the next update. Here she is:

So that puts out that fire. The video could've been aimed a lot better, so I still have something to look forward to in the future on this note.
Another thing I want to get. I'd shot this video of a woman with a shelf booty that WAS NOT as big as some of the shelves you've seen on blackstreetbbw, but her daugheter was leaning on it! The girl actually stood at that level and the mom was standing there telling me to go away, but how could I when her little girl had her arms folded on mom's butt and had her head down on them?!
But I only really have two REAL 'legendary goals' left after all that I've done, (although I want to see a child leaning on an ass again!) and I already described the thigh-calf monster one. The other? Well this is the weird part. I want to videotape a true amazon. I'm not talking six feet even here. I'm 6'4'', so I'm talking taller than me! Call that strange, but that's something I've always wanted to tape since right after I got my real life proof that they exist when I saw one when I was at the old mall that they tore down that I'd gone to spend my 'lunch' break at back when I worked at the McDonald's across the street. That woman had to be about 6'8'', and she actually was technically tapable because, unlike many women that are real amazonly, she actually did look like a woman! For real! It was seeing her that made me want to start carrying a camera around so I could tape fantastic women I saw in my life. It wasn't the last straw in getting me to start blackstreetbbw, so it took a few years for me to finally buy a cam and begin, but it was the first straw. She was kind of cute, but she was older than me, and I will be the first one here to admit I don't know how to holla at a girl that's 6'8''. Prior to this entry I'd only told that to a girl who found me through YouTube (Yes, YouTube). She was pretty interesting to talk to, so we send some emails back and forth for a while. But now that I've told all of you that story of that tall girl first straw I bet you're glad I found her!

Hannibal adalah gabungan dari semua 'kekejaman yang dingin dan cerdas'. Ia ditiru, dijadikan panutan, dipelajari, dan jadi patron bagi orang semacam Dolarhyde. Ia pun jadi rujukan bagi Clarice Starling dan Will Graham, agen FBI yang ketiban tugas memecahkan kasus pembunuhan berantai yang disertai kanibalisme Dolarhyde (Red Dragon), dan Gumb (The Silence of the Lambs).

Ya, Hannibal adalah ikon kekejaman modern.

Itu dalam novel dan di film.

Di dunia nyata, orang pun bertanya-tanya, benarkah ada sosok kriminal yang sedemikian kejam, keji, dingin, cerdas, dan suka memakan sesama seperti Lecter, Gumb, dan Dolarhyde?

Ternyata memang ada. Hannibal Lecter adalah gambaran dari tokoh seperti William Coyne. Pembunuh berantai ini melarikan diri dari penjara berpengamanan maksimum di Claveland tahun 1934. Coyne dikenal sebagai penjagal yang bahkan tak segan-segan menyantap korban yang dibunuhnya.

Dari sisi lain, karakter Lecter juga ada miripnya dengan Jaffrey Dahmer, pembunuh berantai yang suka mencicipi daging korbannya. Atau dengan dengan Tsutomu Miyazaki dari Tokyo yang antara tahun 1988-1989 menculik, membunuh, dan menyantap anak-anak prasekolah.

Di tempat terpisah pada masa yang berbeda, Ted Bundy menghabisi perempuan-perempuan yang jatuh iba kepadanya --karena cacat (pura-pura). Kadang, ia mengenakan 'wig' dari kulit kepala dan rambut asli korbannya. Dua karakter ini seperti mengilhami Harris menciptakan Jame Gumb dalam The Silence of the Lambs dan Dolarhyde dalam Red Dragon.

Coyne, Bundy, dan Dahmer dan tokoh-tokoh penjagal itu hanyalah sebagian di antara ratusan, mungkin ribuan orang yang tercatat dalam arsip kriminal dunia sebagai pembunuh berantai dengan kekejaman tingkat tinggi.

Melalui buku-bukunya Harris seolah ingin mengatakan, kekejaman bisa muncul begitu saja dan menjalari karakter seseorang di antara sekelompok manusia. Perilaku macam itu bisa diidap siapa pun yang dalam kehidupan sehari-hari adalah sosok manusia normal menurut pandangan umum.

Sangat boleh jadi, di sinilah "persinggungan" Ryan dengan tokoh-tokoh fiktif dan tokoh-tokoh nyata di atas. Lelaki asal Dusun Maijo, Desa Jatiwates, Kecamatan Tembelang, Jombang ini seakan jelmaan Dahmer, dan mirip Gumb dalamthe Lambs.

Masyarakat pun geger. Publik seakan bertemu dengan monster, makhluk aneh yang dengan dingin menghabisi sesama lalu menanamnya di halaman belakang rumah. Atau mencincangnya dan memasukkannya ke dalam koper lalu meletakkannya begitu saja di sembarang tempat. Orang boleh saja bergidik, ngeri dan jijik. Bisa pula takut. Jangan-jangan ada juga orang di dekatnya yang berperilaku seperti Ryan.

Tapi bila coba menelusuri agak ke belakang dan mencoba menatap realitas kekinian, rasanya kita tak perlu kaget benar. Apalagi takut. Bukankah di dalam diri tiap manusia pun ada unsur genetik yang mewarisi kecenderungan hewani seperti itu? Hanya saja, kekejian dan spirit membunuh tidak dipraktekkan langsung dengan mencincang sesama, melainkan dengan "membunuh" peluang dan memakan hak-haknya.

Kenyataan sehari-hari menunjukkan dengan jelas, bahwa makin hari kita melihat kian banyak saja orang yang rakus dan buas. Mereka tak segan-segan "membunuh" kawan, menipu teman, memeras orang lain, dan menghisap hak- hak mereka.

Jadi, Ryan mungkin belum apa-apa dibanding sebian di antara kita yang kadang ternyata lebih keji dan lebih kejam. Entah itu di kamar-kamar birokrasi, di gedung bursa, di kantor penegak hukum, di gedung wakil rakyat, di jalan, di pelabuhan, di pasar, dan tempat-tempat lain.

Sebagian di antara kita yang bertabiat jagal itu seringkali tampil sedemikian elegan di balik jas dan dasi berkelas, bermobil mengkilap, beristri (dan selingkuhan) cantik, molek, dan seksi. Lebih hebat lagi, seringkali orang-orang macam itu merasa tidak sedang melakukan kekejaman dan kekejian, meski hampir saban waktu dia "memakan" sesama.

Hiyyy!!! ***

Bonus! Here is an interview video with Billy Reid himself.

HOLY CRAP! 300 MILLION! DARK KNIGHT! READ!

Don't want to sensory overload everybody too much, is there even a such thing as too much these days? Eh, in any case, that wraps this post up.

Http://www.BlackStreetBBW.com.

I'd said something in my last post about this 'woman' with record setting sized big fat calves plus big thighs of course, so I thought since I'd deleted the moment I'd been talking about I should at least show give you something you could actually look at that I taped recently. But the woman I'd described the other day... her calves were bigger than this girl above's thighs. Man, those calf things she had going on... those things had looked like barrels! But I think that maybe, even if you like bbws, you're probably better off having NOT seen them.

  That woman I'd mentioned before in the last post... her calves were HUGE!!!!! But... I had very little time to tape her before she squeezed into the driver's seat, I was already in a panicky state trying to film in the Wal-Mart parking lot with the security truck looking for me and when I got shocked over the masculinity of her appearance I had to stop taping her immediatley and delete the file because if I got caught, I didn't want to go down over something like that. That deletion left my memory card blank because I'd just switched to a fresh one. Everything happened so fast I saw her and went to tape her without even thinking, and her size hadn't even fully registered in my mind yet because size that great takes a second to squeeze through my mental processing. Then I saw her face and heard her speak... she looked and sounded a lot like a man with her face and voice and haircut... but she dyed her hair a shade of silver I think and she was at least pushing 40, and I was thinking after I got home that only Dennis Rodman wouldn've gone out looking like that at that age or something. But I remember thinking while she was still there when I took another look now that I could see her from behind that there's no way she could be a 'he' because there's now way a man could have that much fat on his lower half; be so bottom-heavy!

  In the office where I used to work there was this man (yes, MAN), who had more ass than any man I've ever seen in my life. Man, his butt was nasty. At one point afterward though I thought of how good it could be if he had a daughter though. Men can pass on genes for ass (Right?) and can carry them too, but us men aren't supposed to actually have big ass like that. I'm kind of thinking it must be like genes for height for women. Women are supposed to grow sooner and shorter, so a couple could have a boy and a girl and give them each the same ammount of gene for height but the boy will be taller because it takes more height gene for a girl to reach the same height. So this chick I saw a few years ago that was about 6'8'' must've had a tremendous ammount of height gene, a lot more even than it looked like she had (BTW, that girl looked WAY more feminine than the big calf woman I've been talking about!). So if it's like that for men a asses so it takes WAY more ass gene to get a man to have the same bulging ass... MAN that guy must've been packing some SERIOUS booty baby producing genes! All he'd need is a woman with a decent behind behind her and we're talking about that couple producing the next generation of uniquely made divas here! I remember the women used to make fun of that guy. This one plumper lady I remember her joking on him to another "I don't trust no man with a butt bigger than mine!" That shit was funny. But that guy went on some kind of diet, even though he was old and he was still fat but he lost the ass. Good for him, because that means people don't have to vomit when they see him any more! That was the most bottom heavy brother I've ever seen in my entire life (I've seen 'em fatter, and you have too, but never ever that bottom heavy. Man, that man was disgusting to see.), and since the huge calf woman was bigger than that on the bottom, I knew she couldn't be a man. Still, I'm only mostly, not entirely, sure it was better to delete her, 'cause she was ugly enough she probably looks better in your mind. But if I'd kept the footage for a pic at least like 'Sookyant' commented and said I should've then you'd be able to be the judge. The best part of seeing her was the proof it gave me that there were more 'super ridiculous calf women' out there, like the one I'm describing below:

 At that same exact office, before I ever started taping or photographing women, I saw the biggest thighed woman I'd ever seen in my life ever. This woman had more thigh than any woman that I've seen on the internet or even TV that could still walk around! Go to http://www.mercedesbbw.com and have a look around there and know this- NONE of those women had thighs the size of this woman's thighs! Her legs were so fat that even if she stood with her legs apart all the way (I say 'all the way' instead of just 'apart' because, you know, her legs were too big for her to put her feet together.) and her legs would press together all the way down to her ANKLES! This woman was for thighs and calves what UniquelyMadeDiva is for ass! And that brings me on to the discussion of this second woman's (the first 'ridiculous calf woman' I'd ever seen, not the second one, who I finally finished describing above.) calves.

   Man, her calves truly looked like there were balls, around the size of basketballs, underneath her spandex pants. (Obviously the only kind of pants she could find that fit!). When she sat down next to me in the next cubicle (Or did I sit down next to her?) her calves were squeezed down by her thighs so you they covered up the back of her sneakers (yes, they let her wear low-top sneakers to the office). Those bulging calf bags hung down over so low they ALMOST touched the floor! That's[when she was sitting] when I noticed her behind. Not nearly big enough to not be eclipsed by those thighs and calves. I remember describing her to co-workers on the Burger King job I used to have. I remember seeing her struggling to haul herself over to the ladies room this one time, and I use that mental video as my reference video of her moving. MercedesBBW is not the only website I've gone to and seen huge thighs- I've seen some other HUGE ones- but never on the 'net have I seen legs that big ever on a woman who was able to walk. The only woman I remember seeing on the 'net with bigger legs was a white woman named 'Gina' that weighed over 900 pounds!

 I wanted that woman again one more time, or a woma just like her, so I could tape her calves, but that ugly one was not just like her. Her huge calves were much firmer with lots of visible cellulite because she was wearing capri cut tights, and she was too ugly.   Maybe I shoud've entitled this post 'Time to Make A Post About Calves'... but I wanted to use the picture gallery (I just figured galleries on here out by trying one, and I like them, so I'll do more in the future- More pics for you here!) above of the girl with thighs that I found on my recent trip to the discount grocery store to save money.

तख़लीक़ के इस भँवर में तकलीफ़ है बहुत
सँभलकर बुन जब भी बुन नया रिश्ता

this is the video of me at the contest.I hope you vote for me.

I'll be 21 this year and before this year is out, its going to be some changes. I've been saying it and saying but I've been avoiding it. Well thats about to stop too; in an instant. Its time I get in school and get a job. Cleveland may be a terrible and horrible place to live but all the jobs aren't gone yet. I seriously need to get up off my ass and do something about my situation. I have a promising future and who ever is along side me, I want them to be proud of me. Not some chick who just laid on her ass all her life.

Being sick though and tired most of the time has done something to my mind. Its like when I'm not here in hell, I'm fine, I'm not sick. Yea, I get a few back pains that can jerk some tears out of me every now and then but other than that, I'm healthy as hell and I can go to sleep without taking all that damn medicine. It may seem awkward and all but thats the truth. This house is a plague that look like its only affecting me. Maybe because I'm not giving into the life my grandmother, sisters, brother, and my mom is living. Its like the house know in my heart I'm going to be happy and live a life and leave away from here and not look back.

Its like I'm refusing to listen to my psychiatrist. She keeps telling me to leave. But where to? Where can I go? I need/want my own place badly. I had one and because I'm a strong kind-hearted person I moved back in here all cause my grandmother said so. Well okay then, you asked me to move back in but I'm made to pay rent when the others who have a job doesn't? I mind as well stayed at the place I had and just come visit her but I didn't think of it that way. It was wonderful having my own shit.

The only thing I was missing though, was someone to call mine. But thats a different blog for a different day.

-N-

In the evening, I went over to Tanah Merah and had a wonderful view of the sea.  Actually, we had a tour for Changi Naval Base and went over there to meet all the tour participants whom includes the Commanding Officer, all the other warrant officers, younger officers and all the NSF men from the unit.  It was a brand new experience for me and as well for API because this is the first tour which 3 buses were employed to ferry such a large group of participants and I was taking charge of the first bus. As we reached Changi Naval Base at 7pm and waiting for everybody to get ready, the sky was filled with dark storm clouds and the strong winds were blowing.  Surprisingly, once we setted off for our first location, the winds subsided and the storm clouds were blew away.  Thank god the tour went well and it was a success as everybody enjoyed the spookiness and thrill very much.  It was really a pleasure as we got commended by the CO that we did a great job in organising such a huge tour for the first time.  Most importantly, it was a memorable night for everybody as we had Nasi Lemak and soft drinks for supper in the cemetery.  I hope that in the very near future, we will be conducting another tour for Changi Naval Base.  Thank you guys!

`lush;-

          http://rapidshare.com/files/129838936/Happy_clipart.rar

.

Of course, after we exited the restaurant we headed to the summer Asian festival in Seattle and my mother wanted to look around so my brother and I went to Gameworks and enjoyed a few games; we especially liked the Japanese drumming game and of course, the DDR. I don't get why some songs aren't on the normal DDR they distribute for the PS2 Supernova but I have a new favorite song from Raven G but I can't recall the name at the moment. Also, my brother just figured out how to play the Danceman Game correctly which we had no idea how to play earlier; you just wave your hands through it like a real dance and you don't tap it. Heh, it took a little while but now it is much more fun.

After we finished up at Gameworks with still around five dollars worth of points we headed off to the bus stop to get the free ride zone to Uwajimaya to meet up with our mom again. Once we got to Uwajimaya and met up with our mom we went into the book store and I was debating wether to get Full Metal Panic but I decided not to because I was originally going to buy Yotsuba&! number six which they did not have in stock and I'll just buy it online later today; after leaving the book store we promptly went to walk around Uwajimaya and we bought some natto to try out. My brother and I really wanted to try to see what natto tasted like and of course we bought a package along with a few goodies I bought for myself. My goodies added up to a crazy amount of forty bucks, but it was pretty worth it. I bought a new bento box that is two tiered along with an onigiri maker which has animal faces for it and little toothpicks of different color and variety. I also bought new chopsticks which I wanted since I only have one pair that I like myself, and the other ones are just too big for my hands [which reminds me, the chopsticks in the dim sum were horribly long and it was sooo hard to use them!]. Once we left the shopping section, we went to the bakery and bought some buns and of course the sponge cake. Who can resist some red bean paste buns and some sponge cakes? Of course, I didn't eat them because I didn't want to eat too much unhealthy today 'cause I get freaked out heh. I'll save it for next week's cheat day!

After our little bakery decision, we headed to the bus and got on and headed back home. Once we got home we played around for an hour and my mother and I went to the park to try my new Polar RS200; it wasn't a waste of money at all. Though I need to buy and XS strap probably, the small strap stayed well if I hiked it up a lot and sagged only every mile or so. It was really useful and it didn't take much to get used to, it was very fun to use. After our little run, my mom talking on the phone, we went to WalMart to pick up some food and I got a Luna Bar Chocolate Peppermint Stick; it was so good and it was like eating a cookie. I felt so guilty eating it but it was so good and I checked the nutrition label like twenty times; I'm pretty sure the people in the store walking by thought I was crazy comparing labels. Hehe. I guess I'm just that way.

I'd like to say sorry to people who were reading my blog I just got busy and I was not able to update for a while. Keep watching and stay tuned!

• Kill your family.  Really.  They hate you and have been secretly poisoning your coffee for years.
• Have a pool party.  Get sinfully drunk.  Drown.  Hopefully, you'll be naked when the paramedics find you.
• Join a cult.  The economy has gone to shit and you can no longer afford to either eat or put gas in your car.  Clearly, the end times are near.  And just remember; The more often you allow the cult leader to use your butt as a sex toy, the quicker God makes his big return.
• Take a long bike ride.  Lance Armstrong does this all the time and look what it's gotten him....testicular cancer and Sheryl Crow.
• Have a barbecue.  This is just an excuse for you to get drunk, in front of your family, at noon, while you play with fire.
• Sit around, waiting for me to update this site.  Eventually, you'll tire of my infrequent, random updates and will develop a methamphetamine addiction.  Eventually, you'll re-read this post, while all fucked up on meth.  It goes downhill from there, friend.
• Be gay for a month.  Then, years from now, you can have conversations with your grandchildren and/or care worker that start off with, "So this one summer I decided to be gay for a month...."  This will result in your grandchildren and/or care workers over-medicating you.  See?  Everybody wins!

I have to go get drunk and scream filthy obsenities and the local clergy, now.  When I get back (from jail!) I'll post some more stuff.  Maybe some Sock Puppet Stories later.  Send me money and I'll do whatever you want.  Whatever.  All for now, sinners!

-CHEek
www.SockPuppetsFromHell.com
dan@sockpuppetsfromhell.com

This is a very cool video, just give it a chance.

Music created by the band Harvey Danger.
The song is called Flagpole Sitta.

We were with the 'ex-Amish' last night.  They are an amazing people.  Jesus is doing amazing things.  All of the couples are younger than us.  At their service the other night with over 120 people, there were no older people.  They have large families.  Five or six years ago, there were just a few families who were saved and meeting together.  Now there are at least 20 families, I think.  They have a passion for Jesus.

The Amish believe you do the best you can and you might make it to heaven.  You won't know until judgment day.

Hannah told how they lived in a house on the same property as her parents.  When she and her husband got saved, her parents sold their house and moved away because they couldn't stand to be near them.  Others have been officially excommunicated.  Some of their Amish families keep contact with them hesitantly.

Mary told what a big hurdle it was to drive a car to her parents for the first time (as opposed to a buggy).  She was afraid they would be very angry.  Jesus had softened their hearts and it wasn't a big deal.

Rebekah shared how angry she was as an Amish young person that she wasn't allowed to continue her education past 8th grade.  She talked to me excitedly about how much she is looking forward to homeschool her son in the upper grades.

Joseph told how he is from an Amish family in Pennsylvania.  His brother got saved and started reading the English Bible to Joseph.  The Amish are only allowed to read the Bible in German (an old German) and the Amish use some German in everyday talk, but not enough of the vocabulary that the Bible uses to understand the reading of it.  Joseph then got saved once he knew what the Bible really said.  Their family was so mad and so persecuted his brother that his brother became depressed and put in a mental hospital for awhile.  That is when the believers in PA moved Joseph here to Indiana because the family began to persecute him as well.

The spirit of these people is so sweet.  They are very open and active in evangelizing the Amish community.  I suppose that is why they are growing so much.

Even while we were with them last night, a teen relative of one of the men called him on the phone.  This Amish boy was at an Amish drinking party with his friends and he was challenging his relative to come over and talk to them. They find the saved ex-Amish entertaining.   The boys even agreed to listen to a sermon CD.  So, all the men at our gathering packed up in a van and headed over there.  Looking forward to hearing the rest of the story!  Even though the saved know that these youth don't always take them seriously, they know that seeds are being planted and some do get saved.

Karin Litchfield
www.shadrachyouth.org

But there was an Amish couple there.   She still dresses like our Amish

in Grabill... no buttons, long dress, and white bonnet.  He has changed

to where he wears shirts with buttons and even a little color in his

shirt.

In the class I was trying to really figure them out.

I wish I could remember all the story, but evidently he would drive by

the church there and every time the Lord will tell him to call Pastor

Paul.   He said himself that he was very stubborn and wouldn't do it.

He evidently was very sick of the Amish way.

One day he was so depressed that he took a gun to his mouth.

I think it was then that the Lord spoke to him in an audible voice,

and essentially said, "Put that gun down and call Pastor Paul."

So he finally did and that started a wonderful relationship.

It took another year or so until his wife started coming with him to the Clare Christ Fellowship.    I guess they are very regular in their attendance now.   They have been rejected by

family and the Amish church.    Even his own grandmother will not talk with him now.

I guess he is a wonderful wood craftsman, and can make about anything, and does it very well.  I got to talking more to him at the meal, and he is quite a talker and interesting to listen too.  Very different in many ways, but interesting.

Marcia Schultze
www.schultze.org