I noticed a sudden spike in my number of blog hits.  I was all excited that people were reading my drivel.  I had nearly 120 hits in one day.  Then I looked at the detail.  All of the hits were on an entry called “death by basil.”  I dug a bit more and found out some allergy bulletin board had automatically picked up my post because I used the word al but ur al…misspelled purposely.  So I guess my allergic reaction to basil is now worthy of pharmacology alert.

Not exactly what I had in mind.  Blogging is a fickle pastime.  If I write something I consider good, it will be completely ignored.  But if I write about adverse reactions to seasoning plants…watch out…everyone will read it.

http://pharmacology-alerts.blogspot.com/2008/06/google-alert-albuterol_26.html

Goole AFC Forum Tactics

So the test is now over.

I was approached by StuGoole to show the forum owners up by creating and account and putting on controversial comments about the club.

Well I decided to do this with a created name of IanWatson, it just happens to be the week when the club had a winding up notice issued on them. I put some comments on which are listed below and as you can all see are not Anti-Goole AFC but after just a weeks worth of constructive posts the account I used and email address I used have been BANNED by the two forum moderators.

This categorically proves without a shadow of a doubt that Goole AFC Forum is a closed shop to a privileged 10 to 15 contributors and anybody else is clearly not welcomed onto the site.

 StuGoole had told me it would take them up to 15 posts to ban me, well it was nearly correct.

 Any way on with the posts I made and some of the responses garnered from privileged members which as you can see where very supportive of my views, so the question is -----

 WHY WOULD THEY BAN ME

 If Dave or Andy (the moderators) want to dare leave a comment to explain themselves it would be most appriecated.

 =========================================================

Okay, on we go

 Benny post the winding up notice in a thread entitled “Are We in Trouble”

 My responces were:-

 To which Moderator DAVE replied with WELL SAID!

 So as you can see on that thread there are no anti-Goole AFC statements, next onto the thread that got me banned for some reason.

 The Goole Courier mentioned about the administration and the Inland Revenue bill, here we go:-

 At which point I again got a good point and good question from other members.

 And the last post and only my 10^th POST would you believe

 Then I was banned without warning or reason, this shows how pathetic Dave and Andy are, slowly they are become known for been the Hitlers of Forum moderation.

 What here is funny is that StuGoole said he once had a forum and was hard on disrespect but he was told from AndyMorris to stop been a knobhead and stop deleting people and posts – now what is Andy doing to forum members.

This may be one reason why Goole AFC have sadly gone downhill – the closed shop approach to the forum and running the club.

Utada Hikaru - First Love

Saigo no kissu wa tabako no flavour ga shita- That last kiss tasted like tobacco

Nigaku tesetsunai kaori- that sad bitter aroma

Ashita no imagoro ni wa- Around this time tomorrow

Anata wa doko ni irun daronu- where will you be?

Dare wo omotterun da rou- who will you be thinking about?

You are always gonna be my love

Itsu ka dare kato mata koi ni ochite mo – Even if I find someone else

I’ll remember to hold on

You taught me how

You are always gonna be the one

Ima wa mada kanashii love song- It’s still a sad love song

Atarashii utautaeru made- Until I can sing a new song

Tachidomaru jikan ga- The time that was standing still

Ugoki dasou to shiteru- is about to start moving again

Wasure taku nai koto bakari- There’s a lot of things I don’t want to forget

Ashita no imagoro ni wa- Around this time tomorrow

Watashi wa kitto naite ru- I will be crying

Anata wo omotte run darou- thinking about you

You will always be inside my heart

Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara- there’s always a place for you in it

I hope that I have a place in your heart too

Now and forever you are still the one

Ima wa mada kanashii love song- It’s still a sad love song

Atarashii utautaeru made- Until I can sing a new song

You are always gonna be my love

Itsu ka dare kato mata koi ni ochite mo – Even if I find someone else

I’ll remember to hold on

You taught me how

You are always gonna be the one

Ima wa mada kanashii love song- It’s still a sad love song

Now and Forever

What happens when you listen to some songs and you realize that you care more about a person then you are willing to admit?  What do you do when you start to like a friend you have known for a while and was more like a brother in the beginning but now as you grow up the feelings change without you knowing it?

  Do you risk the friendship for the possibility of finding love or do you just sit back and let life pass you by with regrets?  Over the years I  have liked many guys but in the end it has always been a blessing that nothing happened because it would have saved me a lot of heart ache and rebuilding to do but now the what if's are slowly creeping up. 

What do you do when you realized that your feelings are changing for someone and you're scared as hell that you've pushed them away? Why me?  I hate this irrational thinking that is not logical at all.  Why is love such a confusing time to realize and accept? 

I guess this didn't dawn on me until one of my relatives asked if I was dating someone and I slowly realized that this person meant more to me than a friend but I couldn't find a reason why I liked them in a different way.  It may sounds werid but I am a logical thinker and reasons are good to understand how I feel and this one just draws a blank.

I have created some files and if you scroll down just below "Recent Posts" you will see the files available for download.

Free of Charge, all in the name of Islam. Download, comment, tell me what you think ;)

They begin their set with a brace of songs from their new album Exiting ARM. This is the third in a trilogy of releases, which follow the exploits of a character called Our Hero Yes including the title track which contains the chilling verse "would you skin your skull to draw its strength, would you swallow a lie to disinfect your angst, would you razorblade redecorate your arm, would you freeze a whole lake to steal you some calm".

They don't forget their older songs though, delving through their back catalogue and coming up with tracks like The Mercury Crazy from their second album For Hero For Fool it's a stomping, scuzzy tune resplendent with some sleazy sax and see's Doseone picking up one of the many skulls they're got littered on the stage and singing to it like some sort of latter day Hamlet. They even play I heart L.A, which is my favourite Subtle song, and although they hit a minor technical hitch, for some reason one of the loops cuts out just before the "day after day after day" chorus, it still sends shivers down my spine. They even throw in a few obscure tracks from their early ep and some of Doseone's solo work from Skeleton Repellent for the fan-boys in the audience.

At first I think that the crowd isn't too into it as no-one seems to be moving about. However the end of every song is greeted with rapturous applause. Cargo has no air-conditioning which means that everyone is far too hot and sweaty to be swaying around to much for fear of collapsing. I don't mind sweating at a gig if I'm dancing around but when you've got beads of it running down your face and all you're doing is tapping your foot along to the music you know that somethings wrong.

Dose chats easily to the crowd in between every song. Letting us know his thoughts on the possibility of a black president for America, his amusement at the fact that soy food has been revealed to contain animal enzymes and gleefully informing us of the people he'd like to drown in a bath tub; Robin Williams, Kanye West, and the whole of Saddle Creek. He's on fine form and the crowd are receptive to his charms. Although as the gig wears on there are a few hecklers telling him to shut up and get on with it, including band mate Jel.

When they first start there seems to be something lacking from their usual sound, I'm also sure that there should be a fifth member. This is cleared up when Doseone explains that electric cellist Alexander Kort was unable to go on tour as he's just had a son. News which gets a big cheer from the crowd. As was the case when I saw Why? Here a few weeks ago the the sound is a bit murky to begin with but slowly improves throughout the gig. By the end of the night though Jel's sampler has been turned right up and I can feel every bass note thud in my chest.

As they leave the stage I glance at my watch for the first time and realise that an hour and fifteen minutes has gone by in the blink of an eye. I've been witness to one of the best live performances I've seen this year, an honour shared with Comets on Fire, HEALTH and Animal Collective. I leave Cargo drenched in my own fluids, but a happier man for it.

Jenn told me something last night that almost made me cry.  While she was giving Ethan his enema, he asked if he “tried” real hard could he stop having the enema and catheterizations.  Sadly, I think it is finally dawning on him that his life is not exactly like his friends. 

On another front we signed him up for fall baseball.  Like the previous request, he begged us not to sign him up for the disabled league.  While it may bring him more heartache, we could not deny him the opportunity.  I am hoping that his coach and teammates will defer to their nobler instincts. 

3 hrs later

So I just got back from my eye exam.  Good news, my eyes are quite healthy.  Bad news, I have to wear reading/computer glasses.  I guess since I am now 40 it is time for stuff to start breaking down.  I want Steve Austin’s eyes…with the optional duh duh duh duh sound effect.

After the appointment, I went to Robeks for a smoothie.  I love this stuff!  It is like speed without the jitters.  Not that I have taken speed mind you, I lack the commitment required to be a drug addict.

We are having dinner with another family tonight.  Two 7 year olds and a 5 year old.  It is like Lord of the Flies except instead of asking for the conk shell they will be pumping me for quarters off me like begging leapers.  If I were in my 20s, I would get hammered to the point that I did not care.  But I am not 20 and I can no longer hold my alcohol.  So I guess I will try to find my chi…cha cha cha chia pet.

Say goodnight Gracie.

Nostalgia is where you recall a former memory or experience of a particular moment in your life. Something many of the old timer's do...frequently about the same thing over and over again without realizing it. Take into effect that it serves many purposes. A hopeless 47 yr. old drunk wash-up would babble "I cOuld hAve maaadE sooomeTING [hicup] of my F@%$in' seLF! But nooOOOoo! I eNded up.....". In this case, it would deliver self regret for what said drunk messed up. Mainly, life. It wouldn't provide any consolation, but would occupy their minds with enough "what if's"  to have them pass out instead of dying of alcohol poisoning. Ol' grandpa would recall the days of his youth. When he was once able to play marbles as a boy, go to his first school dance, and so many of those "when I was your age" stories. This scenerio gives gramps the ability to enjoy what he has experienced throughout his many years of life. Never able to go back to those "good old days", but still content. Adults bicker about the how gas was cheaper back when compared to now. They wish things were like before when it comes to those prices. Nostalgia will incure utter glee, a wistful sigh, or even head-splitting incense.

I'm still pretty young. Almost 17 yrs. of age now and soon going into my Senior (final as well) year of HIgh School. Social life has been at its best and keeps rising up. Quite a bit of family together-ness going on. Entertainment has been remarkable. All these awesome flicks coming out, soon being able to rock out on a real plasic guitar (not including plastic drums n mic), and YouTube outranking television. Life couldn't get any better for a gentile...the only problem is that I am no longer a FULL gentile.

I am what is considered a 'saved gentile' (made it up myself). I was of this world for roughly 14 yrs. of my life. I partook in what mainstream pop culture told me to do. Some things I am thankful for while others...not so much. I accepted Christ which made me a New Born person that has had many of his influences drawn from the world. So now, I have drawn my influences from mainly the Bible, but the world views still Linger. What this has resulted in for me is a spiritual life focused on God.

So I have an entertainment life, a social life, and a family life that are at their highest ever which would be great for any american teenager. While those pillars are amongst the clouds.....they simply tower over my spiritual life. It doesn't take a genius to notice a problem in their own life. It thought it would heal itself, but apparently it didn't. My role in my student ministry has diminished so badly that I have become aghast to how far I have fallen. Where I am at leaves me shocked and appalled...my strengths have become rusty, my knowledge about the End Times and Californication has dropped (californicaton tier 5 wasn't even written when it was released. i wrote the damn thing a half a year ago for god's sake). I am not even willing to extend my hand another 3 in. to reach my Bible, so I continue to play video games for hours on end. Thusly, I no longer have a desire to read anything at all.....what once began as a plateau in my spiritual life quickly transformed into a random up-hill, down-hill spiral where I keep finding myself content one moment and then begging for forgiveness down the road. I dwell in the fact that I was learning new things from God everyday. Steadfast in my relationship with Christ. I kept climbing the mountain. Finding no sight of the peak and hoping it wouldn't come soon. Clouds of glory prevented me from seeing how much higher I could go. This motivated me to clamber the mountain without fear nor hesitation. Even the struggles of winter kept me strong in my faith. As I would climb, the harsh bitter winds would try to knock me down. I would lose my grip every now and then, but stop I did not. Reaching that plateau was nerve racking and arkward. Falling down...even worse...

If I were to find the cause of all this, I couldn't say. But I do recall the day where everything took root. I don't remember the date exactly (too lazy to find out), but it all started the day before Senior graduation for 3 of my friends. I was up late working on a project I decided to leave up untill the last minute. It was an interview project that was already a week late and had to be turned in on Friday or I get a 0/300 points. THAT would have been a major pitfall for me in the future so I type up the last 4 interviews up on my computer to print out. It was about 1 am when I finished so I thought to myself "print it out, then finally go to bed!" Well, it turns out after I print out one of the 4 pages...the damn printer jams up! It keeps swallowing in the paper so most of it gets shoved in on one side. So I try to fix the thing, but it only infuriates me to the point of constant cussing and swearing. I kept trying to swear at a lower volume so I wouldn't awake my parents upstairs (still amazed they hear me). I literally took 3 hrs trying to make the damn piece of crap to work! So by then it's already 4 am so I decide to write the rest up at school. The plan was to ride the bus to school and feverishly finish it up there before classes started. I go to bed agitated, but pray nonetheless. I end up waking up at 5 am after having one of the strangest, perplexing things happen to me. This just confuses me so I put it off as nothing and go back to bed. I wake up late, missing the bus by an hour. This puts the original plan into shambles. So I end up having to endure my mom yelling at me while she drops me off at school which is never fun. I arrive at school at 8 am and worry about what I'm gonna do. I end up explaining to my history teacher that I'll have it in by the end of the day (may God bless her understanding!). After the joy of having one more chance to finish this paper arises, I remember I still have to finish a photography project the same day.....imagine the distress. The photo project was simply to develop some pictures I took in a dark room and show them to the teacher. The only solution to these two dilemas was to finish the paper first and then the photo project. I end up skipping most of my lunch to write this blasted thing, only to leave the library for a quick bite to eat. I literally spent but a mere 3 min. in the cafeteria. 1 min. to buy an overly priced, tiny cheeseburger. 1 min. to eat it. 1 min. to throw the paper and say farwell to my friends. Worst. Lunch. Ever. I end up skipping french class (no big deal, got straight A's there) to write the rest of the paper which did get completed. Due to the time limit, I actually had to make up an interview off the top of my head. All that was left was to turn it in by day's end and go to the photography room. The photo teacher (may God bless him as well) let me into the photo room to work on it. Apparently I was doing something wrong because I kept getting an all black image. I was there for about 2 hrs. and in that time 1 girl came in to do her work, she left, another 2 came in later, they leave, then a nice girl (not THAT kind of 'nice' you perverts). Since I was the only guy in there with the first girl, she kept giving off a  you better not try anything kind of vibe, which made me feel awkward and offended. Same thing with the other 2 girls. So by this time, I'm agitated, offended, and impatient. On the verge of blowing up, the nice girl (may God bless her has well) came in and started some friendly chit chat. Nothing flirty or anything like that, just friendly. She ended up giving me some advice as to how fix what I'm doing. Helpful...yes, but I had to go to civics class for part of our final exam. I go there, end up writing about half a page, mess up in the worst way. I had to start over, stay 5min. after class to finish next to a air conditioner that was freezing my ass off!! I had to go BACK to the dark room to finish up, couldn't remember what the nice girl told me to fix, so I stay an additional full hour there cussing and swearing in every sentence I made. I was pissed off in the worst way...had ZERO idea what I was doing wrong...it was literally Hell in there (it was all red in there...). I remember I need to take my science final exam which was my worst subject!! Imagine what was running through my mind!! I write a full paper, take writing exam, have eaten next to nothing, need to finish a photo project, and now take a physics final exam...I was pissed beyond belief!!! As things continue to unravel, I ask my one friend to give me a ride home which was cool with him. What wasn't cool was getting in his car jammed with another 8 or 9 strangers I didn't even know! So I end up walking home instead and avoid another yelling when I give my mom a flower I took from some neighbors garden (ace).

Anyways, (please bare with me) I end up going late to my friends' graduation ceremony which was in a church. I end up sittin' alone when I didn't find whom I was supposed to sit with. The whole ceremony thing was the highlight of the piece of shit day. Things could have really changed for the better after the ceremony. Unfortunately, it didn't. Since I only got an hour or so of sleep, I was beginning to fade out. I managed to congratulate my graduated friends (wouldn't have missed that for the world), but couldn't find a way home. My mom was at least an hour away from home and dad was at work. So it's already after 9 o'clock and I have no way of getting home which was a full 2 miles away. Walking through the dark roads to only stand outside my home with no keys...makes perfect sense. My one friend, Kedren (newly graduated), offered if I would want to go to the graduate after-party or something like that. It's all the way in another town over 10 miles away. If I was to go, I was to go with my one other friend, but he wouldn't even answer his phone. So it's almost 10 pm (dammit) and I don't give any answer to Kedren and just begin walking up to a gas station a couple of blocks away. I call my mom to get me there so I end up waiting for half an hour. Kedren worries about me and calls (such a good, good, friend she is), but I reluctantly tell her about my horrible day. I left out a few parts, but she got the main story. While at the gas station talking with Kedron on the phone, mom drives up. As we go home, the call breaks up. By then I really don't give a shit anymore. I get home, get a call from Ken, who heard about my day (such a good friend). I end up babbling some random junk that even I didn't know what I meant to say. Embaressed, I say good bye and said I was gonna be fine. I was not fine after that. I swore more than I did in a year that day, angry that God didn't help me in the dark room (not at Him, but what He didn't do), wasn't even caring about important stuff...

So in a nutshell, this is what happened:

Worked on paper until 1 am, but printer jammed. Wasted 3 hours fixing it. Woke up at 5 am and had an awkward and confusing experience. Missed bus, got to school late, skipped most of lunch to work on paper, spent but a minute in lunch to eat a tiny burger, finished paper, went to photography dark room, was being seen as a pervert in the dark room by 3 girls when I did nothing wrong at all, photos were coming out bad, had to leave to do a writing exam, got super cold in there, went back to dark room, ended up swearing with no signs of stopping, had to take a physics final exam, walk home, late to friends' graduation, sleep got to me, couldn't find way home, walked a few blocks to a gas station, got concern from friends but felt like I just lashed out at them, unintentionally insulted one of my friends...

Forgive me if I seem to be going off on a rant or rammbling on, but I just had to share this. That horrible day gave way to over a month of me messing up my spiritual life. As I remember over a year ago, when I went on a missions trip to New York City, I was at the top of my game. I had a passion for God. I wanted to serve Him with all my heart's content. Then I looked at myself. It gave me an incense of rage. O' how I wish to be like that again! I want to be close to God like never before. My other areas of life have gotten better, but that doesn't make me happy in the long run. God does. I know I have lost some authority and even respect...knowing I have gone so far off from where I once was saddens me. Recently, I wasn't allowed to go on a missions trip to Lebanaon (not the country) due to money. It only made me feel worse. I simply love serving the church there! I love every little thing about it! Maybe that's God in me, but hearing the gospel spread in both English AND my native toungue, Spanish.........it just feel's like Warmness on the Soul. Even though I didn't go, I still wanted to be part of it. I was discouraged to say farwell to the ones going because of someone and that caused a heavy feeling of sorrow on my heart. I wanted to send them off with something. I wanted to give some last minute advice to those who already went and those who haven't. The only thing I could think of doing was to have my encouragement be sent through someone else. I texted a friend of mine who was on the trip to do just that and that brought satisfaction over my soul. If she told everyone or not...knowing I at least made an effort makes me happy. I fully notice where I am at. I am not at my best. I fully accept that. I am stripped of certain privileges and opportunities...but I accept that. I am where I am at because I fully deserve it. And Justice For All...I am not going to justify my reasons when I know I deserve worse. For what I have done recently and in the past. I know I am a worthless sinner that deserves the pits of Hell. . .but I also know God puts me through these trials for a reason. For the greater good that is He. God is Good. God is Just. He will never forsaken me...As the hart pants after the water brooks, so pants my soul after you, O' God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me. Where is thy God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday. Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou diquieted in me? hope thou in God for I shall yet praise Him fror the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar: Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy water-spouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me. Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life. I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God? Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?  hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Hime, who is the health of my countenance, and my God. -Psalm 42

Everytime I remember how he is with his friends, those are the time I wonder why cant he be like that when he is with me. He works half of the day and the rest would be spend sleeping. He works on shift but the funny thing is I am the one who is suffering from lack of sleep.

Yes it make me cranky and moody as I dont have enough sleep while he... hmmm... as I said, he sleeps most of the day then he goes to work till midnight and I have to pick him up because I dont want him to sleep at his workplace because he is my husband and he has a home..oh my...what am I talking here.

This is especially tragic, given California's recent passage of the "Safely Surrendered Burrito Law", allowing anyone to surrender a burrito confidentially and without fear of prosecution within 72 hours of purchase at any fire station or hospital.

Starting next week, the following will be made available for download.

- Audio Podcasts (Mp3) [itunes ready soon]
- Islamic Backgrounds for your computer.
- Powerpoint slideshows with Islamic information
"Food For Thought" Series to be launched, more info soon.
- Video lectures by yours truly.
- Islamic "Goal" Calendars [available for print out]
- Islamic Dua's, Dhikr prayers, Islamic benefits [in form of articles].

Insha Allah all this can be done and touched up by next week.
May God be with you ALL.

Well today was the big day.  Today we started cathing.  Like many unpleasant things in life, the dread of the thing was worse than the thing itself.  One thing became abundantly clear as we began, we are extremely lucky.  Because Ethan is older, we were able to reason/bribe him.  While he does not “like” the procedure, he patiently endures it. 

I am not really sure how this will impact our lives.  For now we are measuring our lives in 4 hour increments.  Thankfully we do not have to cath him while he is asleep.  I don’t do well on little sleep.

I hope to blog a bit more now that we have passed this “milestone.”  The last two weeks, I have been paralyzed with dread.  Now at least the anticipation is over.  Now it is just part of the routine.

As a side note, Ethan is now old enough to have the surgery that would allow him to give himself an enema…well not really an enema…more of a system flush.  No rush on this front.  We are going to wait until he asks to have the surgery?  Why would he ask?  Privacy mostly.  The surgery is laparoscopic and only requires a 3 day stay. 

…piece of cake.

I had a faith crisis about 3 years ago, when my father was not healed, after hospital acquired infections, following a triple bypass.  This left my very sick mom a widow, (and me to primarily care for her.) I thought that I had to keep her alive, and that all the responsibility for her health and well-being was now on me. It was a very heavy burden to bear. Finally, I realized that I am not God. I cannot keep my mother alive. I can only do my best to be a good caregiver, and advocate for her. The rest is in God’s hands-far more capable than mine.

I do have questions, and I do believe that someday they will be answered, when we no longer see through a glass darkly-but then face to face. And yet, even if I don’t get the answers, I will cling tightly to my God, who is my strength and my peace. It is easy to say we have faith when everything is going well, but what about when life becomes a living hell? Will we still trust Him?

As most of you know, my mom broke her right foot, and her left leg recently. We just had a care plan meeting with the social worker and therapists at the nursing home last Friday. She was likely to go home on Friday or Saturday of this week, depending on the doctor’s report on July 24th. At the latest, she probably would have been in the nursing home for one more week. It was a good report. She had finally settled down, and decided to stay in rehab, and do the necessary work to get better.

Then I received a phone call this Sunday night-(early Monday morning at 4:30 a.m.) They said she had slipped and fell trying to get to the bathroom, and was being rushed to the ER. I threw on some clothes, and rushed to be with her. As I drove there, I felt peace. How could I feel peace when the circumstances were so awful? Only because I felt His presence, and this time I did not ask “Why?”- though He would have certainly understood if I did. I just knew that without Him, I could not face one more crisis, and just as surely as I was going to have to deal with another one, I felt His strength.

For 6 hours, my mom screamed in agony with no relief (even from morphine.) And my own heart was pierced with every cry. Then I had to watch them almost kill her, as they added Valium directly into her morphine line. I watched her jaw drop, and her breathing stop. Her eyes were fixed with no movement at all. I have never seen a person look more dead. Just as they were going to code her for respiratory arrest, she started to breathe, and move. I know that I saw the face of death, but at that moment, death did not win. I kept asking, “Is she okay?” The nurse tried to make me believe that she was, but I knew she wasn’t. She later admitted that she had almost coded. It was easy to see that she was almost gone.

She was finally diagnosed with a broken hip, and at last count, that makes a broken right foot, a broken left leg, and now a broken right hip. This would certainly be a good time for a faith crisis.

But I am so thankful that I already went there (as I am sure I could again) but not this time. I don’t know the answers. I’m not even sure of the questions anymore, but I am determined to trust my Savior, my God, my Friend. His ways are higher than mine, as are His thoughts. He is a good God, even when we don’t understand. Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful.

And so we all journey on, wondering how much a heart can break, how many tears can fall, and how many sleepless nights we can endure. But without Him, what hope is there? I pray that I will forever trust Him...

Oh well..never mind that but I don't understand why they like to use words such as "bitch". Does that make them feel cool? Actually I think it sounds rude. That's my 2 cents. And now,...back to sleep cos I've had very little of that lately.

"DC LAW FIRM HARRIS, WILTSHIRE & GRANNIS: HARASSMENT, THREATS, INTIMIDATION AND SLANDER ON BEHALF OF BARACK OBAMA, WHY?

Posted by Larry Sinclair on July 23rd, 2008

If Google, YouTube or the DC law firm has a response, it is welcome here.

To read more about Larry Sinclair, click here:

 http://larrysinclair0926.com/

The difficulty for me has been deciding which idea to throw 'the triplets' behind. The triplets are your scarce resources of time, money and energy.

I think I have finally worked out a simple 5-point checklist for doing this, which I want to share with you.

By the way , I'm assuming you are, like me, holding down a full-time job whilst trying to 'bootstrap' your idea.

1. Understand why you want to start a business. There are many reasons to do so, almost all of them valid under given conditions. The task the wannabe entrepreneur has is to be able to clearly state their particular reason. In my case, it is twofold: Firstly, simply to facilitate a lifestyle - pay off the mortgage; fund the school fees; allow me to open a bookshop without having to worry too much about profit maximisation. Secondly, because there seems to be a genuine need for simplified business planning for the non-expert.
2. Understand your current pressures. A simple spreadsheet may help here. List all of your activities by day, from exercise regimes, to bedtime reading, to meal preparation and so on. Add realistic times to each of these. Then label them according to their degree of necessity. Play-time with my son is critical for me. Watching re-runs of House M.D. less so :) Eliminate anything from your activities spreadsheet that is not a 1 or a 2 on a 5 point scale (where 5 is least important). Show the new activities spreadsheet to your spouse and children, if you have them. No business, especially a bootstrapped one, will be successful without the support of family. They will need to buy-in to this new routine.
3. Understand what's left. Add up all the free time you now have on your activities spreadsheet. It's hard to specify an amount here, but I would suggest you need at least five two-hour blocks per week to be viable.
4. Understand what you can do and where you can ask for help. If you're not a designer, don't try and design a website. If you're not a lawyer, don't try to draft Equity Agreements. Look for free templates online. Ask your social circle for help, recommendations or introductions to experts. Trying to do everything yourself is a huge drain on your energy and time. An hour for me trying to design a website from scratch is a wasted an hour. But in an hour, I can find a good-looking, free template and apply it to my code.
5. Understand what you need to deliver. The trap many people fall into is trying to solve every conceivable problem and lock-in every imaginable feature on day one. Your product does not have to be perfect to be a good product. If you can figure out what one or two features your customers would love to have on day one, you can concentrate on those to the exclusion of all others (unless your customers change their minds...). The 80/20 rule can apply here - 80% of your customers' pain is probably solved by 20% of the features in your 'vision'.

With these 5 points, I have gained much greater clarity regarding my ultimate desired outcomes; what I can and cannot do; the changes and sacrifices needed; and what I need to deliver to make all of these things happen.

Thanks to this simple process, I now have a roadmap to follow to bring my ideas to fruition in a reasonably ordered manner, which has got to be less stressful than just diving in feet-first.

As you can see, this is my first post on this blog, so I'd love to know what else you think should be added, removed or changed from this list. Do leave a comment and share.

Is your child a daydreamer? Do they spend time living in a world of their own creation? Do you find it really annoying when they tell you long winded stories about things that are outrageous? Are you concerned that this might be a sign of mental illness because they are not thinking clearly, like an adult?

Have I got a website/cure for you!

Apparently, if you give them an herbal essence you can cure this terrible affliction. In fact, according to this website, you can cure everything that's wrong with children today with a few drops of flower essences.

I originally found this in a health food store and spent a good five minutes laughing and the rest of the night being puzzled. Clematis is not a flower I would recommend anyone ingest.  People have an over-confidence problem when it comes to anything labeled "herbal".  It's hard to keep in mind that all those nifty medical prescriptions come from plants and flowers, the only difference is the active ingredient has been supercharged or isolated depending on the drug. For a long time Comfrey was on the shelves as a tea, despite the fact that anyone with even a little knowledge would say one should never take Comfrey internally. Eventually the government got wise and ordered that all Comfrey teas be pulled from the shelves.

Herbal medications, like general prescription drugs, 'cure' nothing. They alleviate symptoms. And there are a whole bunch of provisos that if one is not aware of can actually make one very ill. For example, if you take warfarin or coumadin you should never drink chamomile tea. Chamomile contains cumarins and if you are on a blood thinner you could bleed internally.

All that aside, if you are giving your child herbal medications to fix shyness or tantrums, there is something wrong with you. Some children are shy, some are bratty,  it's called having a personality. As for a daydreamer, well some children are more creative than others. It's not an affliction that needs medication. If they refuse to have any social contact or scream when you touch them get them tested for autism, otherwise leave them alone.

I for one am a champion daydreamer. I love to slip off mentally and take a vacation once in while. Then I write about it. My son also spends time in a world of his own. Then he writes music. There is nothing wrong with nipping out just to enjoy your own mind every so often. It's called being creative. Without it science would never catch up to fiction.

So parents, relax, and know that having a creative intelligent child is not something you need to have them medicated for. They'll either outgrow it or write a new symphony.

Hopefully, we will soon find a plant that will cure overactive stupidity in parents, until that day comes......

Dogwoman

In today's society I have some very big questions. One of those is, why is free speech considered to be terrorist activity by the powers that be? The only reasoning I can come up with for this sort of policy is that there is an undeniable fear that if people speak out against what is happening long enough and in ever increasing numbers, the message will be too difficult to quell among to masses. Demands for change among the citizenry will have to be taken seriously and all that has been done to destroy our liberties will be wasted energy. Likewise, the perpetrators will be noted in historical context for what they really are. In other words, they will fail. This is obviously their greatest fear, being toppled from their places of splendor by the logical resistance of the people, considering how much attention and effort has been directed at silencing opposition.

Another question I think of is why does the government deem it necessary to disarm the public? They use the flimsy guise of violence in the population, when the numbers themselves do not support those claims. It makes absolutely no sense under the reasons they put forth, as even in a crime ridden neighborhood, concerned citizens need the right to protect themselves and their families. No, it is quite apparent that the government is anticipating a situation which will cause a public backlash and civil unrest. In such a circumstance as this, having an armed citizenry becomes very dangerous to those trying to control the masses who take it in their heads that they have had enough.

Why in this day of information technology do they think it acceptable to hold secretive meetings with other nations concerning trade agreements and why do they sign documents that directly concern us all, without announcing it even after the fact? They know we are automatically suspicious of their dealings so why choose to shroud those dealings when they are not even linked to 'matters of national security'? The only reason to refuse to divulge even the slightest amount of information on official undertakings, is to keep us from knowing what sort of dirty plans they have for us. Even under the most oppressive of presidencies, there has been some level of disclosure, particularly in regards to agreements that are aimed at making us all more 'prosperous'. Vows of secrecy are only employed when methods are offensive and tactics are underhanded. However, this rampant secrecy is being applied not only to what is 'sensitive' but equally to that which in different circumstances would be considered mundane.

People need to ask themselves why these and so many other things are taking place in the 'land of the free, home of the brave' and who is responsible for it. The government was never intended to rule over you as it now does, but rather to be your servant. To do your bidding, safeguard your quality of life and serve your best interests. It was also intended to be held accountable to you the people for what it decided to do on your behalf. Does this not incense you? Does it not offend you deeply that they have assumed you are not intelligent enough to have say over what they do? Do you feel this reversal of roles is justified because of some vague threat that they proposed to you? If you honestly feel that 'terrorists' have it in for you, don't you think that allowing your liberty and freedom to be conceded is in fact handing a victory to those same elements of opposition? Is that patriotic? Is that what America stands for? Is that what our symbols of liberty really mean? Is that why so many military men shed blood in war for all these years? Your ancestors, my ancestors...don't we owe them more respect than to allow this to continue on?